[julie27]

Hi! I was just wanting to talk to some people that have already experienced everything that I am right now. My husband and I are VERY early in the adoption process. In fact, we just made our decision a few weeks ago and haven't even chosen our agency yet. We know that we want to go international and are pretty sure that we want to go to Kazakstan but we don't even know how to go about deciding on an agency. We've even considered doing an independant adoption, but we don't know if that is even possible in Kazakstan. Does anyone out there know?

Anyway, I'm just feeling incredibly overwhelmed and emotional today. I just want to get things going because we've waited so long to become parents. I do find that I'm feeling much better than I did when we were going through the whole infertility stuff, but I still get that yucky desperate feeling sometimes. I am so excited that we are growing our family through adoption and I am even happy that we could not conceive because I am absolutely positive that this is God's will for our family (I suspected this the entire time we were trying). But, I still find myself having a hard time with my sister's pregnancy. I have an identical twin sister that got pregnant in her first month of trying. I am so happy for her and can't wait to be an aunt, but I still find myself getting a little jealous. Not so much that she gets to be pregnant (that doesn't matter to me anymore) but just that it was so easy for her. Any suggestions? I love my sister so much and I want to be there for her in every way but it is soooooo hard! Well, thanks for listening and sorry my post is so long. I just needed to get some things out to people that I know will understand how I feel. I look forward to talking with some of you.

[Casey677]

Hi, Julie! There may be some people on this forum who have adopted from Kazakastan, but probably not very many. I wanted to you let you know that there are international forums on this board for just about every country.... I am sure that Kaz is there. You will probably find people there who know more about the adoption process.

As for your feelings about your sister's pregnancy, that is completely normal! One thing that I found is that when we were still dealing with infertility, I found myself jealous whenever I saw a pregnant woman. When friends announced their pregnancies, I cried for days... made every excuse in the book to not attend baby showers. When we started our adoption journey, things started to get a lot better. I find myself genuinely thrilled when others get matched or have a baby placed in their arms. The jealous feelings do not hit like they did before.

I wish you lots of luck on your journey!!!

Casey

[Deanna&Alex]

I can't help you on the Kaz adoption situation but I can agree with Casey, once we started the adoption process I felt a lot better and the jealous feelings subsided. I still have my moments but it's 100% better than when I was trying to conceive. It must be very difficult having an identicle twin sister who becomes pregnant easily. Good luck, hang in there "this too shall pass"

[julie27]

Thank you both for the encouragement. I can already tell a huge difference in the way that I feel towards pregnant women outside the family. I'm not really jealous of them anymore. It's just the sister thing that is so incredibly difficult! I really appreciate your replies. It helps to know that I am not alone. Thanks for the letting me know about the forum for Kazakstan. I will definitely check it out. Good luck to both of you!