[LisaCA]

hi guys,

I need some advice. we are planning to have dd's christening out of town at my family's church (episcopal) in Rhode Island. I consider it my family's church since i was baptized there and it was my mom's family church. since dd is named after my mom's recently deceased sister, we thought it would be a great way to welcome her to the family. We're also having a blessing at dh's church in NY a week later (he's episcopalian too).

here's the problem: we may invite a few of my aunt's lifelong friends who would love to see dd's christening and live literally minutes away (she's named after recently deceased aunt). I know they'd be offended that we didn't invite them or at least see them while we're there. we're not sure what to do afterward: we don't have a home nearby (the church is 3000 miles from our home) and we don't want to impose on my only living relative who is nearby (the rest are in the other part of the state). so do we have to put some major thing together at a restaurant, and is it rude if we don't? Money is rather short here since I'm a sahm as of May and we're saving for next adoption. My FIL is throwing a party for dd's blessing in NY, but that's a 4 hr drive from my family church and the following week. Any ideas? thanks,

Lisa

[Kelli]

Lisa, how many guests will be attending the christening? Secondly, does the church have a fellowship room where you might be able to serve some light refreshments, etc? My home church has a fellowship hall (aka semi-basement) below the sanctuary and I've been in that room for everything from post funeral gatherings, baby and wedding showers, to after church chicken dinners. Usually just a small donation is required for most uses other then a funeral.

Best wishes,

Kelli

[LisaCA]

hi,

there are maybe 10-15 others coming besides immediate family. haven't sent out invites yet, but there are a possible 20 or so, which means roughly 10-15 will come at best.

thanks for the idea-I'll have to see if others haven't claimed the room. the new priest likes to do them once a month, so there are probably other christenings and so it may be booked already. great idea-thanks!

Lisa

[sugarbabysmommy]

I was going to suggest the church's hall as well. If it's booked, inquire about an adject garden or courtyard. You could simply do cake and coffee, it needn't be elaborate- no one cares about the food, all they want is the baby. If the church is not an option ask them for a recomendation to a community hall close by, or a club's hall, like a woman's club or Elk's club etc. If you explain your circumstances they may cut you a deal on using the hall for two hours.

[MrsSmith]

Hi Lisa,

If the church hall/fellowship room isn't available, what about a nearby park? Seems like the weather should be cooperative that time of year... and a lot of parks have pavillions or other sheltered areas where there'd be protection juuuuuuust in case the weather isn't cooperative. I know there are parks around here where pavillions can be reserved at no cost by calling the parks dept.

Just a back-up plan kind of thought for you.

Cheers!
Heather

[LisaCA]

thanks guys, these are awesome ideas!

lisa

[lisa in venice]

Let me jump on the church hall band wagon. Alos I am assuming it is an older church so I bet they have a lovely garden if the hall is booked. I am not a big fan of cake and coffee. i figure if folks are nice enough to come to my even I can at least feed them. Call the local super market's catering dept/deli they do lovely sandwich platters and fruit salads that would not cost very much at all. I bet they could do folweres and a nice cake and throw in some champagne and sparkling cider and you got yourself a party!

lisa

ps: if you choose the restaurant route it does not have to be expensive. Sometimes restaurants will give you a deal for a prix fixe meal. We did thai for Mrianda's christening for 25 people and it cost just under $300 including a case of bubbly.

[MrsSmith]

If you are hoping/planning/wanting to serve champagne or any other type of alcohol at the reception, you might want to check with the church and/or the park staff to see if it is okay. For exapmle, I know that our church doesn't allow any alcohol in the building (heck, we even use grape juice for communion! ) and I know that there are some parks where alcohol isn't permitted too. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble and/or purchase some nice bubbly that you then can't use! Of course, we're United Methodist and you mentioned the church is Episcopalian, so you might be all right anyhow.

Even if you don't go for a whole catering thing, you could probably get some tasty trays of cookies etc from a bakery to jazz up the reception a bit and still cost less than a whole big meal...... Who doesn't like cookies?

Cheers!
Heather

[Brat]

first of all, congratulations on the blessed event! what a loving mom to plan to celebrate this special occasion in a place that will be memorable and significant.

you know, i remember being really stressed out about my daughter's dedication--and the whole thing, ceremony and reception, were held in our backyard. whatever you decide to do, especially with traveling with a little one who may be out of sorts, keep it simple! the best advice i got in these forums was to focus on the beauty of the sacrament, do what you can to make the location convenient, but don't overdo it on accomodating attendees.

but did i listen...hmmm....

if i were you, since you are out of town, i'd get recommendations for an inexpensive, quiet restaurant with a good reputation for service and a private banquet room. that takes the pressure off you for decorating ahead of time, and for catering to everyone. i was running around like a nut between our kitchen and our backyard, and meanwhile my dd was screaming her head off because they were all these people in her house, and mommy wasn't holding her. of course my friends and family were lending a hand, but still, i felt pressured to entertain. i also didn't think ahead of time that dd would be cranky from shots the day before; your daughter may be overstimulated from the plane ride and new surroundings. for the record, i also had it catered--lasagna, fettucine alfredo, salad, bread--so you would think i would be relaxed. not me.

all in all, everyone told us they had a wonderful time, and it was great how everyone lingered and socialized. at the end of the day, i was happy and content, but it was more difficult to get "into" the ceremony because i had so much on my mind.

if you're not into a restaurant, i like the idea of a park, too. i'd get it catered, spread out the food on a couple of tables and let people help themselves. everyone likes a simple sunday fried chicken dinner.

ooops! i think i remember that you are a vegetarian so i take that back.

clean up a park is just tossing everything into a trash can, rather than worrying about cleaning up a hall. but i hope no one who had that idea takes that as a slam. it could be the best way of all--especially because no one has to travel to a different locaton if they just have to stroll over to a room at the same location. anyways, i'm just remembering my martha-stewart-in-overdrive entertaining at dd's dedication, and the simpler the better.

again, congratulations, lisa!!!