[ScooterLV]

Hi,
Just wondering if anybody had to wait longer because the baby's mom wouldn't sign. Did she eventually or did she change her mind? We have been waiting patiently for the baby we have been presented with. He is in foster care and it is going on day 12. She still hasn't signed or decided to parent. Yesterday she told our SW that she was ready to sign - our SW went to her house today but she didn't answer the door. We are waiting again. I feel bad for the mom if she is having a hard time with this. Yesterday she did say she wanted to meet us soon but not yet. When do we give up and go on?

[icunurse]

We had friends who went through a similar situation - pbmom kept changing her mind, took the baby home, would say "tomorrow" but then change her mind again. After a lot of tears, they decided that they couldn't keep going on like this (this went on for just over a week). They talked to her on the phone, let her know that they wanted her to do what was right for her and the baby, but told her that she needed to let them know by the end of the weekend if she had made a decision. If not, they were out and she could select another couple from the agency if she later decided to place. They didn't want her to feel that she was being faced with an ultimatum, but didn't feel that they could keep going with the daily back-and-forth. (For the record, she did place with them because they were "the" family she wanted for her child). Ultimately, it is your decision as to how long you'll wait or how much you can handle. Just as she has a right to do what's good for her, you and DH have the right to do what's good for both of you. There's no right or wrong, unfortunately no guarantees for sticking it out. Listen to your heart, listen to your SW (they usually have some insight into what's happening or will happen). Good luck.

[hpoefull2003]

My childrens ** did not sign until they where 9 day's old. She was not having second thoughts she just did not want to sign right away. My two where still in the hospital though not in foster care. I hope things work quickly for you, I know what you are going through. Even though she told me she was not changing her mind, my mind kept telling me she could be.