[tflowers]

I am in my late 30's and we have started to adoption process. It is real weird with all my friends that have kids. I just don't fit in. We don't have much to talk about because they talk about their kids. I work outside the ome and they have one of the hardest jobs, stay at home mom. But it is almost impossible to find other like me. I do attend a support group and there I feel normal. Outside of there I just feel alone. Does anyone else feel like this? If so how do you deal with it? Luckily I have a great husband and he is my source of strenght and my best pal.

Thanks,
Tflowers

[BoxerLady6]

I am a bmom though. I am 26, almost 27. I placed my daughter for adoption almost 6 years ago. Everyone my age is starting their familes or raising their kids. I have been looked down on ALOT because I work with alot of people who had their children at the same age as me and kept where I placed. Its hard, really hard. Honestly, I just don't have many friends. Maybe two or three
I just keep myself busy and try not to worry about it. I have 2 dogs and I go to school. And the friends I do have are good friends.
Sorry, I am sure you wanted a amoms perspective, but I do know how you feel....

[tlc4kidz]

tflowers...I completely understand. I work in a very small office and every other female employee is divorced with grown (or nearly grown) children and they are all close to my age, 41. I have a 13, 9, 2 yo, and 11 month olds. My co-workers are talking about dating and I'm worrying about potty training and ear infections. I do have several close friends...one who has a 7 month old and she is late 30's and her dh 41. All I can say is that the blessings of having wee ones at a "ripe old age" far outweigh the feelings you are having now. I know from experience with my older kids that once they get to the age of sports (or whatever activity you might choose), you meet alot of people that way. Another of my best friends I met when my 13 yo started soccer at age 4. Hang around here and you're sure to get the supprt you need .

[Peggy]

I am single and often felt what you are feeling. I can tell you that the first summer I spent with my new daughter (8 at the time) was very interesting. When I went to the pool with her during the time I took off, I was greeted and approached by nearly every mom at the pool. I was "in the club." Hang in there, soon you will have quite a lot to talk about.

[Shai's Mom]

I am an Amom in a country where children are sort of the national treasure. Before my son came home, I had pretty much no friends. This changed magically with the arrival of my little boy.

I know how you feel. Soon you'll be part of the gang as well..

Good Luck.

[icunurse]

I can sympathize. Besides working with a lot of women around my age (they all seemed to either be raising kids or getting married and planning them), I live in a subdivision that is overrun with children (most homes have at least 3). Of course, that's why we moved here, but when it took us so long to have a family, it became a bit lonely. Like you, because I worked outside the home (a lot, trying to save for adoption), the women and their kids formed their little groups. Through the children, neighbors bonded and DH and I sat by the side. Last year, I tried to get out there and meet people with little success. This year, I am breaking into the mommy groups if it is the last thing I do! It's hard to feel left out, but, hopefully, soon enough you, too, will be able to join in.

[crick]

I need a group too! While I have 4 kids and am a sahm, I long for a bit more intellectual converstations that have nothing to do with wiping butts, temper tantrums, housework, homework, and don't get me started on the "my little johnny is just perfect!" stories...

I dont fit in that well at the mommy groups because I have no interest in being "supermom" and got tired of the guilt and "that look" I got when I said "sometimes being a stay at home mom is not my favorite thing to do." Sue me...I love my kids but don't always love my "job". Don't we all dislike our jobs at times?? (and believe me...I'm not saying all mommy groups are like this etc., just how it was for me)

At any rate...hang in there...sometimes you have to feel things out and try different groups etc. to find the right one. I found a book club to help me stay "connected" with the grown up world, and just by chance found another mom at the bus stop who feels a lot like I do. We are now great friends and while yes, we do discuss our kids etc., we also find other things to talk about which is perfect for my needs.

Sometimes it just takes a little time to find your niche...

[tbmichals]

I'm 27 and have a 10yr old son and husband. My friends have recently had 1-2 kids and a few who are pregnant. With my neighbor (who's daughter will be one next week) and her friend that has a daughter a few months older, they are "in the club". I feel excluded a lot. Even though I have a son and have been where they are he is older and doesn't want anything to do with their babies. I was upset for several months because I felt so excluded. I know that they want their babies to grow up close and have a lot in common, so I try not to take it personally, but it really sucks sometimes!