[lizzyburger]

We received a call yesterday from our Homefinder that we are homestudy has been suspended. Apparently we received a negative reference aledging abuse/neglect. We were told that we can appeal, but it most likely won't be overturned. After calling all of our references (including my BD), they were all stunned to hear that! My husband called his BD to invite her family over for Easter only to find out that she and her sister are the ones that contacted CS to tell them of abuse. We were stunned! My husband, although not a saint,never abused those girls!! My BD,who was raised by my husband and for over 11 years is writing a letter to CS hopefully to get this overturned. We are devasted. Please, has anyone had a similar situation?

[katieb31323]

Pardon my lack of knowledge but who is BD? And did they explain to you why they did what they did, especially if they are willing to write a letter to change their minds now? If they are willing to change their minds I would think it would lend in self to saying that they are not "reliable" references.

Good luck
Kathy

[SadieAnn]

First of all I'm sorry you are going through this.

I'm also a bit confused by the BD abbreviation.

I don't have any direct knowledge/experience, but I would think it would take more than just a phone call or letter to report abuse/neglect. I always assumed a report of abuse/neglect would mean something like a police report, or court action, etc.

Have the people who did this been confronted to try to understand why they did this? How old are these girls? Perhaps they can be reasoned with and they can undo their action with a letter or call. Where they perhaps just angry at the moment?

Good luck!

[stillwaiting]

I don't want to put words in Lizzy's mouth but I think she means Birth Daughter.

Sounds like this might be a second marriage where DH's BD's are older ladies/girls.

Lizzy, I am sorry you're having to go through this. I hope your daughter can shed some light to the fact your husband has been a great father to her.

Best of luck you you and your husband.

[lizzyburger]

I'm sorry BD is birth daughter. This is their word against ours right now. These girls have always been jealous of my husbands new life with my daughter and me. His oldest has some REAL issues. Their mother also does.
We are going to appeal this. Please pray for us!

[missingmyboy]

I am sorry you are going through this lizzieburger. It must be so difficult.

It is true that it only takes a phone call to report child abuse. If a police report was needed there would be tons of abuse that was never reported as most cases do not involve the police. I used to work in child welfare. Most of the files I carried did not involve the police.