[Kelli]

How did I miss this thread?

For those of you who saw the 60 minutes story involving an agency in Georgia who is placing a number of AA infants with Canadian families who are Caucasian, I cringed when the director of the Agency said they can't find AA adoptive families and when asked if they had made a concerted effort by maybe contacting AA churches, he said they hadn't thought about that as an option. (I had a really hard time believing that)

Not only did my dh and I not believe him, but we actually shouted back in unison at the TV.

If your target is AA's or for that matter anyone wishing or willing to adopt a non-white infant, agencies have got to let their target audiences know these babies are available

I agree. Now this may be way off the mark, but ever since I heard this on TV, and because of the common knowledge that non white images are not prevalent on websites, advertising, etc., I've been giving this some thought. How far-fetched is the idea that adoption advertising is not really suppose to be for the purpose of finding parents for a supposedly overwhelming number of children (hence the lack of images and because of the typical lower cost of these adoptions), nor for CC parents wanting a CC child (got enough of those), but is actually for the purpose to interest what they are supposedly lacking . . . CC mothers considering an adoption plan? This would accomodate the supposed large number of CC waiting families that oftentimes must pay the huge fees. In VERY crass terms . . . why push/sell the Honda when you can push/sell the Volvo? (Nothing against Honda's. I drove one for 18 years and would still have it today except for the fact that it was deemed unsafe to transport a new baby by everyone that loves us. No airbags, etc. ).

I know, I know, some of you may think I'm reaching here with this. And I very well could be. But as I sit here typing this, to the left of my screen are the words "Ready for Adoption?" with a cute picture of a CC mother (could be expectant mother or potential aparent, who knows?) kissing her child. The words "Want to Adopt?" and "Unplanned Preganancy? are on the bottom. I tend to think that this agency is probably full of parents who "Want to Adopt" what they see in this image, and this is not really what they need. But doesn't it looks much better presented this way rather then screaming out "We Need CC Expectant Mothers Who Are Considering Adoption." If I was an expectant CC mother who is considering placing my child with a CC family, this image might be an appropriate one. And that might be what they are counting on.

Okay, far-fetched??

Peace and blessings,

Kelli

[Kelli]

I forgot to add a piece to this puzzle if this idea were true. Why not place two to three non-white children for the same price as one CC? More work?

Kelli

[icunurse]

It's getting late, but I just wanted to toss in two things:
1) The agency I work with lists prospective couples and their profiles on the website. I don't think I have ever seen an AA couple on it. After asking a few questions (I'm nosey ), I found out that people adopting AA/bi-racial babies through the agency get placements so quickly, most don't even choose to list their profile (and listing doesn't cost anything).
2) I say this from my own experience (and wonder if others have similar) - when I mention possibly adopting an AA child I get numerous statements (from AA and CC alike) about how I need to "respect the heritage", how difficult it would be for an AA child to grow up with CC parents, how I will "never understand the struggle", how I need to teach him/her to "be black", etc. But when I mention adopting from China, Korea, etc, I rarely get comments or "advice", maybe someone telling me about culture camp. Adopting transracially can be a bit scary to undertake, no matter what race you're considering, but to add in all the comments that people make....it can make you second-guess yourself or your ability to provide what a child needs culturally. The comments make it seem like raising an AA child will be WAY more difficult than raising another race (through transracial adoption). Some people are probably scared away by that.....just a guess.

[angeluv]

Just one more thing......along with including non-white faces, agencies also need to make the community at-large aware that length of time for placement may also be different because all that we see in the media, i.e. news/documentary stories, movies, etc. is that the length of time for adoption can be 2-3 years and yes...that's true when adopting a CA infant through an agency. If agencies are truly seeking out adoptive parents for AA and Bi-racial infants, they need to gear their advertising to the facts that apply to AA and Bi-racial adoption. If people thought it would take less time.....they might be more apt to seek out further information. As I stated in my earlier post....I too unaware about the adoption of AA children until I did research when natural means of conception didn't seem to be an option for us. I was so excited as are most people we tell that there are plenty of infants and it doesn't take a lifetime to adopt an AA infant. My question has always been....why did I have to do the research.......why aren't the agencies publicizing the facts that make AA infant adoptions so appealing? Aside from using advertising that's multi-cultural, why not also use advertising that targets the AA community. The agency we used does an excellent job of including faces of various ethnic backgrounds on their website and their general communication pieces but if you make an inquiry and let it be known you're interested in adopting an AA or Bi-racial infant....their materials are designed to address the process as it relates to an AA infant which I think is helpful. ( I'm not speaking in terms of cost because the agency doesn't subscribe to cost differentials by race. ) But it helps to know what to expect.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Binyasa

Our son's birthmother (who is white -- our child is biracial, birthdad is essentially unknown so we don't know his racial background but he is a person of color) originally matched with three families before finding us -- two of whom had significant reservations about what our son's skin color would be. They wanted a baby, and were 'willing' to adopt a biracial child -- as long as there was a relative guarantee that he'd be light-skinned.

You know, I hear this all the time, but it still infuriates me. I actually know of a birthmom who had to find new adoptive parents because her baby was too dark after birth.

How incredibly sad.

[BethanyB]

icunurse,

Contrary to belief, ALL children of color need to know about their heritage. Asian children. Hispanic children and so on. Many white families adopt children from overseas and raise them as white children. I have heard from several Hisapanic and Asian adoptees on this site who are upset because they were never introduced to their culture. I believe people use the whole "culture" thing as an excuse when it comes to not wanting to raise an AA child. -Not saying that you do. I understood where your point was coming from. There are many culture camps and even Asian adoptive communities in the US that help the Asian American adoptee to learn about themselves as it pertains to their heritage.

And don't get me wrong. If someone is uncomfortable with adopting an AA child. I would not want them to. But I still have to question their reasoning and the underlying racial discrimination that I know still exists in our society.

[icunurse]

bethanyb- I hope my previous post did not come across as saying that ALL children did *not* need to learn about their heritage (if it did - apologies and I will blame it on being tired ). I was trying to point out that, in my experience, people tend to focus more on the cultural "needs" of AA children than the children of any other races. Racism? Maybe. But I think some of it may just be lack of knowledge and fear of messing up a child's life.

[BethanyB]

icunurse,

Nope, I didn't feel you were saying that at all! I understood your point, I just happen to think that it is usually a skin color issue. Which is why I don't buy that reasoning. Many families are willing to take biracial, Asian, Hispanic but not full AA. I don't believe it is because they feel they could provide a good cultural history for any child except a "full" AA child. I feel it is because of the whole "white is right" issue. And that saddens me. Everyone is so afraid of getting a dark skinned child. It's crazy.

Again, I'm in no way saying anything about you. Just my opinion on this topic.

[Sleeplvr]

I think they focus on the cultural needs of AA children more because they are uncomfortable with it. There are way more negative stereotypes surrounding AA culture than any other culture. If the only experience you have about a culture is through the media, then AA culture will always come out in a bad light.

Have you noticed that some CC families will adopt an African or Haitian child but not an African American child? Can someone explain that one to me? Is it a status thing to do an international adoption?
When I mentioned to one of my co-workers that I was adopting…she automatically assumed that I was going to adopt a Chinese baby. Why? I’m AA. Why would she assume something like that?

When I started my adoption journey I asked basically the same questions to all the agencies that I contacted. The number one question was the reason for the difference in fees. I’m AA and wanted to adopt an AA child or any child that was at least part AA. I was surprised that most of the agencies were very honest about it. The CC fees are higher because of the limited number of CC infants available and the extra expense required for locating these few babies. Then once the CC potential bmoms are found they normally require more help financially than the AA birth moms need. These advertisements are geared so they can recruit the bmoms that the agencies are looking for. I don’t think there is a hidden agenda in what they are doing. It’s all laid out front for everyone to see. If you see someone that looks like you in the advertising then you will automatically think….that agency is looking for me. I was also told by some agencies that the high fees for the CC adoptions subsidize the so called hard to place AA or biracial infants. If those agencies chose to advertise to the AA community in a few select areas they would have more AA families as an adoptive resource. I found my agency through my Church.

I won’t get started on the light skin issue. One of the reasons that my husband and I got one of our foster to adopt children is because his CC foster parents thought that he was too dark to be biracial. They said he didn’t look biracial and belonged with an AA family.

[Binyasa]

Bethany --

I completely agree that being open to adopting a child of latina/o, asian or biracial AA/CC heritage but not being open to adopting a child who's fully African American is 100% an issue of skin color. It's incredibly sad.

It disgusts me when adoption agencies who place children from other countries -- I'm thinking specifically about Guatemala, but there are others I'm sure -- go out of their way to state that an available child is light skinned or 'white appearing'. Same thing with adoption 'professionals' in this country talk about percentages with regard to biracial/multiracial children. "I'll take a 1/4 AA, 1/2 CC 1/4 NA child but not a 3/4 AA, 1/4 Cuban child" ?!?!? When are people going to realize that by choosing to build your family through transracial adoption you're making a life-long commitment to becoming a multiracial family that makes a daily effort to incorporate the racial and cultural background of that child into your life -- to include a vibrant community of same race role models (and not just other children). This is regardless of that child's apparent skin tone.

I live in MAINE. It's going to require great effort on our part to create a community of color for our son. (Through we live in Maine's biggest 'city' and do have friends and neighbors who are people of color.) It's my job as his parent to do this. If that means we move to a more racially diverse area before he hits school age, so be it.

My son, so far, is relatively light-skinned. This makes him no less a person of color. This makes my job no less urgent to provide him with every opportunity to develop a comprehensive racial identity that celebrates ALL facets of his racial background.

I'm not sure if linking to educational articles is allowed, but I'm going to try and link one of my favorite articles on the common acceptance many white adoptive parents have toward adopting a biracial child when they wouldn't consider a child of full AA heritage. Should this not be allowed, I apologize in advance and ask that this post be edited to just take out the link. Thanks!!

http://pact.best.vwh.net/press/articles/easier.html

[jaenelle]

I don't know if I'll have anything intelligent to contribute to this discussion, but I did want to chime in as someone who is completely open to adopting a child of ANY race or combination of races.

DH and I live in a small town, rural area, and while we do worry about what our child may go through being the "only" person of that race in school and the community, the reality is that if our child is anything but 100% Caucasian, he or she is going to be the "only" one. That's just where we live -- everyone is white here.

We are hoping that this will mean a shorter wait for a child and also perhaps give a child a home who would be less "desirable" to some adoptive parents -- but certainly not to us! All children are beautiful and all deserve a home with people who love them.

One thing I know, if anyone makes any comments about my future son or daughter's race, they'd better be prepared. I'm only 4'11" but I'm TOUGH!

[Kelli]

Originally Posted by Sleeplvr

These advertisements are geared so they can recruit the bmoms that the agencies are looking for. I don’t think there is a hidden agenda in what they are doing. It’s all laid out front for everyone to see. If you see someone that looks like you in the advertising then you will automatically think….that agency is looking for me.

Exactly. It sounds like we're thinking along the same lines about this.

Kelli

[BethanyB]

I don't want to jump the gun here (I will have to go back and check the web sites of the agencies I contacted) but what about the agencies who tell people that there are shorter waiting periods for people wanting to adopt AA children? That they need families for these children? Shouldn't they show people of color in their ads to attract families that are willing to adopt such infants? Rather than only advertising white people to attract birthmothers to place the children who are in high demand?

Shouln't they want to attract both adoptive parents as well as potential birth parents? Would an AA woman on a web site make a white woman feel as if the agency wasn't right for her?

[MMC66]

People have made some really good points!

BethanyB - The adoption agency that was working with Addy's bmom works almost exclusively with very affluent white families wanting white children. They advertise in the yellow pages all over the country. They are well known in the adoption community for contacting other agencies when they have a "child of color" or a drug exposed infant So they don't want to work with these bmoms but will if they have to. In our case we paid a reduced fee and the SW never missed an opportunity to remind me that they were "losing money" on our adoption. Can't say I feel too sorry for them

I guess what I'm saying is AA bmoms or CC bmoms carrying biracial babies are out there, the agencies can't turn them away for obvious reasons but they are harder to find families for and tend to yeild lesser fees so why advertise and attract more of them. Sad but I think the above posters may be right

Martha

[angeluv]

One earlier poster talked about agencies not having hidden agendas. Although the context was that agencies are advertising based on need.....maybe more CC birthmoms are needed. I have a different twist. I'm not sure, whether conscious or subconscious, agencies are apprehensive about target advertising because they really don't necessarily want the "masses" of AA couples presenting as potential adoptive parents. I still think as much as some agencies would hate to admit it.....they still want a specific "type" of AA single or couple as adoptive parents. Statistics say AA's who adopt are by and large "middle class", college educated and/or professionals. I have gotten the impression (and I stress this is just my opinion) that the advertising agencies prefer is "word of mouth" by other AA adoptive couples they've approved as opposed to being open minded about any AA person who expresses an interest in adoption. Personally my husband and I fit the mold of the "typical" AA adoptive couple......but I truly wonder how different our experience would have been had we been totally unknown by the agency, hardworking, "blue collar" and clerical with a high school education but with a tremendous capacity to love and care for a child or children.....How receptive would the agencies have been. I've even mentioned to my agency.....as nice as they've been to me, the fact that I've directed a number of people to them through this forum and they appeared to be "cool" at best to the idea of finding AA couples in this manner. They in a very suttle way stressed....oh we're really interested in people you know who're in your church (which to me was code language for...middle class/professionals like you). Why does it have to be someone agencies are "comfortable" with? Why should they care how the person was directed to them as long as they did their job of screening out the potential adoptive parents. I guarantee you.....our agency who I'm sure is not unlike a lot of other agencies put us through a very rigorous process. If they put them through all that we went through....there's no way they could get anyone, AA or otherwise, who is not sincerely interested in adoption. With all the personal information one has to divulge, I can't conceive of how the process could fail regardless of whether the potential A parent was was unknown or referred to the agency. It gets into what AA's experience all the time.....a sense that we always have to be "better" in order to be accepted. Adoption should be about one's capacity to Love and provide basic care for a child.