[cynthia900]

Hi,

I'm in the final stages of starting adoption #3 and would really appreciate the thoughts of those of you who have transracial families.

I have two wonderful adopted daughters aged 3 and 5. We are all caucasian. When I adopted my first daughter, I applied to do a transracial (probably AA, maybe biracial) adoption of a toddler, but instead received a caucasian newborn. Before embarking on that path I read about it, took a transracial parenting class, talked to others who had done it and am perfectly comfortable with the concept and how it would work for my family (not saying I am an expert or ready for the realities...just somewwhat know what I would be getting into). My second adoption was independent and I chose to parent a caucasian newborn, thinking that it would be easier on the children if they looked similar since they are already different than most families (I am a single mom). I discussed my choices with an adoption social worker recently and she said that transracial adoption is less successful when the child is the only one of the family who is a different race (not that it can't be successful..but is harder on the child). So I am again, questioning whether this is a food choice for my family. If only I had realized that I would want, and be able to handle, a third child when I did the second, but then I wouldn't have my amazing spitfire of a daughter so.... should I seriously consider transracial adoption for my third (and surely final) child? (PS The other pieces - neighborhood, role models, family acceptance etc are all okay)

I really appreciate the input of those who have been there done that....

Cynthia

[aramat72]

Hi Cynthia,
I'm by no means an expert on transracial adoption. I do have a biracial daugther and two CC sons though, so we're learning. Our cw told us that the research shows that children adopted transracially are happier if they are not the only child of their race in the family. So far my dd hasn't noticed. She's only two though. We've got to prepare for the future.
I would love to have another child. I think a child of similar ethnic background to my dd is going to be best. Just my opinion though.

[theokcarr]

Cynthia,
We have six children in all. We are both causasian and have three grown caucasian children. We have three adopted children who are living at home now. Our five year old daughter is african american. Our four year old daughter is african american/puerto rican. Our three month old son is caucasian. We planned on adopting african american the third time, but we instead adopted our son as he was in need of a family who was experienced with down's syndrome. Before we adopted our second, we decided to go african american or bi-racial, so that our daughter would not be the only one of a different race in the immediate family. I am currently doing a research study on transracial adoption for my graduate degree, so I am very interested to hear what others think about your question.

I want to share with you our five year olds perspective on the subject. When she heard us talking about adopting our third child and that we were wanting to adopt another african american child, she asked me: "Mom, whats wrong with adopting a white baby? Don't you like white babies?" I had to laugh, not at her, but at how she perceived our wanting to adopt another african american child. I asked her how she would feel if we adopted a white baby and she replied: "I would love the baby."

Good luck in whatever you decide. If you do adopt transracially, you can make sure your child gets regular contact with others of the same race even if it is not within your immediate family.

Sue