[6kiddos]

CBS's 60 Minutes program will be airing a segment tonight (Feb. 13, 2005) about a new trend in adoption...white couples in other countries adopting black infants from America. I read an article about this recently and it made me wonder why this is happening? Is my country still filled with racism?

It should be an interesting segment...this is from the CBS website...

BORN IN THE USA - In a controversial new trend, black babies born in America are being adopted by families who not only live outside the U.S., but are also white. Lesley Stahl reports.

[6kiddos]

Here is a link to the article that I read regarding this issue- http://www.csmonitor.com/2004/1027/p11s01-lifp.html

[Jensboys]

6kiddos - the reality we were told (as a white Canadian couple adopting black american children) is that aa mothers choose international couples over white american couples because of their belief that other in other countries their child will face less racism. Literally hundreds of African American children are adopted into Canada every year, and many more into European Nations as well.

It is (comparitely speaking) easy for us to be a multiracial family in Canada.

[HappyMomAnna]

I honestly do not buy the fact YET that our children of any race are being adopted to persons in other countries only due to race issues.... I personally feel this is happening as a direct result of the fact that many Americans are also adopting children (not talking infants) from other countries.... No offense to international adoption---but it would be nice if people would adopt the children here and then when we run out reach out to other countries.... But that is not what will happen...... So I think we will continue to see the trend of some of the US children being adopted in Canada which I guess is no different then US people adopting a child from China....and well....it just seems that eventually there won't
be any difference what country we come from....and maybe this is a good thing....?

I am not sure that Canada is the only place where it is easy to be multi cultural--There are a number of areas in the US where it is easy.....

But this is REALLY JUST MY opinion....about this issue.

[Jensboys]

Anna in the article it said that Americans in the North East, North West, and Minnesota statistically are willing to adopt transracially (including aa children) but in other locations, not so much.

Now to be honest, I am surrounded by people who have adopted aa children and are Canadian. My best friend from high school and her husband have two aa girls and were just staying with us for the weekend - and in their community they belong to an adoptive parents group of 40 or so families and all with american children.

Their oldest daughter's bmom chose a Canadian families over waiting American families because of what is mentioned in the article - in her mind, Canada would be easier for her daughter. Of note, she was from Chicago.

Their second daughter's bmom is from a Carribean nation and she chose to fly into Florida to deliver the baby to use the Shepherd Agency (listed in the article). She wanted married, Christian parents and chose my friends out of a selection of files. The Agency director mentioned to my friends when they were down there meeting their daughter and her family that bparents were preferring Canadian families because of two reasons - #1 - the perception of less racism internationally and #2 - that Canadian families were desiring contact and said so in their home studies.

I know that in WA and probably OR there are lots of multiracial adoptive families. And it IS alot of work to support our boys culture and to provide them with same race role models and cultural experiences etc HOWEVER, saying all that, we have had VERY few instances of racism or prejudice. When I hear what goes on where my boys are from - Missouri - I am very thankful that we live where we do. Our boys former foster mom has since adopted transracially bi-racial aa-cc children. She has been called every name in the book, as have the kids. She has faced these issues at places like daycare, the doctor's office, walmart etc. We NEVER have to deal with stuff like that - EVER.

Jen

[HappyMomAnna]

..................guess It is hard for me to --Get it---since I live in Portland Oregon... I will be interested in this program.

[Jensboys]

I cant fathom it really either ... But I have learned, very sadly, while talking with some of the African American men that come as mentors to the family camp we go to every summer it is still VERY hard to be an aa male in lots of parts of the USA. Their stories are VERY hard to hear - especially for my not-wanting-to-believe-racism-is-out-there ears.

Jen

[redhedded]

6kiddos, Numbers of such adoptions have not been thoroughly tracked in previous years; however, estimates are that in 2002, 53 American newborns were placed in Canadian homes. This does not include the adoption of older children. In 2001, an estimated 60 American newborns were placed in Dutch homes. There are two US adoption attorneys that assist European families in adopting American newborns and claim to have placed hundreds of American newborns in families in France, England, Germany, Holland, Switzerland and Canada. These families must have a homestudy approved by both their government and the state from which they adopt. Both attorneys state that most of these newborns are African American or biracial (AA/Caucasian) and that the birthmothers with whom they worked chose European families citing a belief that their children would experience less racism and have greater opportunity due to the expectation to be bilingual or multilingual.

Scandinavians and the Suisse have been adopting from countries such as Thailand and Ethiopia for several decades, as adoption is an almost impossible journey in their own countries. We have certainly considered living abroad at some point in the next ten years.

[mimc]

I had read the article that 6kiddos posted before this thread was started, and my initial response was one of surprise - I didn't realize that very many birthparents chose to place with international families. I guess that part of that initial assumption was based on the incorrect assumption that there are ZILLIONS of waiting adoptive families.

Personally, I believe that the decision to place a baby in an international or domestic family should rest with the birthfamily. If they want a family overseas, I think they should be able to choose that option.

Jen, yes, I think there definitely are many racial issues in the US. They aren't always overt, but they're definitely there. A good friend of mine is part of a bi-racial (CC/AA) marriage, and is expecting her first baby. She's said before that she worries a lot about how her child will be treated.

What I also find interesting though is how we all perceive certain options to be "better." The birthfamilies mentioned in that article feel families outside of the US are best for their child. And yet there are also plenty of birthfamilies in other countries who want their child to be raised in America. I think that's proof that each adoption is unique and special.

[Cheryl62]

Sadly, I do believe racism is an issue, even in the coastal cities, though probably there is less there. We don't have adopted children, and our two biracial children are Asian/Caucasian, not AA, so the issues we face are not the same. Still, I wanted to share one personal experience - we lived just outside Washington D.C. until a few years ago. One day when our youngest daughter was two, I ran into an old neighbor who I hadn't seen since I remarried (an Asian man). In the full hearing of this child (and my older two daughters) this woman said something along the lines of "Oh, you should have told me you wanted to adopt - my niece had a baby a year ago, and I would have hooked you two up and then you could have had a white baby instead of having to adopt a Chinese one." I was too speechless to do more than murmer that she's not adopted. My oldest, then 12, was not so inhibited, and instead said "I can't believe you said that - you are a real jerk!". (She's still feisty at soon-to-be-18!) When we visited family in rural areas of WV, well, the looks and questions, and not so quiet mutters at times got to be really awkward.

One thing I've noticed living overseas is the number of families with children of all nationalities of origin...we have never felt so "normal" as a family.

I hope someone will post a short summary of what the show has to say, since I won't be able to watch it here.

[Shoshana]

"No offense to international adoption---but it would be nice if people would adopt the children here and then when we run out reach out to other countries...."

Anna, please don't take my response as a slam against you, but I had to reply - I'll try my best to be respectful and gentle

It seems as if you are lumping all people who adopt internationally into one big pot. I agree - some do adopt to avoid openness, or to ensure they have a child of a particular color. And you know what? Those people are doing what they need to do to form their families - and who is anyone to say that their decision is wrong?

There are other reasons for adopting internationally, and I won't get into my personal ones (other than to say skin color was irrelevant) - My options to raise a child were limited by a number of factors - and I chose what was best for me, and ultimately my child.

I personally believe that a child is a child is a child is a child. Regardless of the country of birth, the color of skin, shape of eyes, etc. My daughter was born in Guatemala.

[LisaCA]

I'm watching the episode on the west coast. very interesting. They did a good job of talking about growing up black in white areas, as well as thinking that love is enough. they also did talk to birthparents as well.

the one example of black parents placing with white parents in canada, was kind of interesting and problematic. they had the choice of one black family or this white family and chose the white family. cbs' explanation of it was kind of weak.

generally interesting discussion about open adoption. also interesting how different agencies do squat to find black families.

not much on what it's like to raise black kids and how agencies often do not give folks info.

for 60 minutes, not too bad.

LisaCA

[Kelli]

I watched the 60 minutes piece and a statement was made by an agency director (from a very well known US agency) that puzzles me every time I hear it. It's been stated that AA bmoms are placing with non AA families (both domestic and international) because there aren't enough AA families that wish to adopt. Hmm. My question back to that statement has always been "Then why aren't you doing any advertising to reach those families, particulary in those areas, cities, etc., that have a large population of AA families?" Obviously in certain parts of this country an expectant AA mother would be a little hard pressed to find AA families, so it makes sense to me that advertising with the purpose of reaching those families should be done in the areas where the families are actually living. . . if that's really what the goal is. There are AA families wishing to adopt. I guess Leslie Stahl thought the same thing because she responded with the same question (I love you Leslie ) and IMO, the agency director looked unconvincingly surprised. He said it was a good idea and he had never thought of it. My dh and I both looked at each other. Huh?? Never thought of it?? You're running an agency/business that is in need of families/supply?? What business person doesn't consider this as a way to get the word out about their product or services? Even small businesses! The cynic in me is not quite buying his response and I would have probably believed him more had he even said something along the lines of the "cost of advertising being too high . . .etc." I think there's more to it, and I somehow can't help but think that the almighty dollar is creeping into this too.

Peace and blessings,

Kelli

[Kelli]

Originally Posted by LisaCA

also interesting how different agencies do squat to find black families.
LisaCA

Lisa, I knew I couldn't be the only one who sees this. I just read your post after writing mine and stated something similiar.

Kelli

[Colorbind love]

Personally, I more than believe that racism is still alive and well in American society. I was 15 and living in Tennessee when my parents changed the racial dynamics of our family. What I learned changed my LIFE, not just then but forever. Yes, racism is still alive and well in this country. Its not merely a perception, its a reality.

I've known about the very small trend for a handful of American birthmothers to choose to place their children internationally. I have absolutely no problems with this trend. Seriously. I think it should be the choice of the birthparents where they wish to place their child, and if they see advantage of allowing someone outside the US to adopt and raise their child, then so be it. Its absolutely NO different than American families adopting abroad and immigrating children into the US.

We adopted abroad. Not to get a certain color, my oldest is from Sierra Leone and our current adoption is from India. Certainly not for a closed adoption, because we have a fully open adoption. But, we choose to adopt abroad for other reasons. There are children all over this world that need families. I wish rather than a pecking order, we all considered that each child with a forever family is a child with a chance for a future AND a family that is forever blessed with the gift of a child. Where you adopt from does not make you better or less than others, even if your reasons for choosing adoption might be questioned by others. And, imo, the same goes for those who choose to place their children out of the US as well.