[redsparrow]

This site seems to be going downhill. It's always been pro-birthparents but lately it's just nasty and negative with a particular disregard for adoptive parents.
Are there any supportive places that anyone can recommend? Please PM me or post here. Thanks.

Red

[icunurse]

I'm always looking to branch out....if anyone can suggest another forum or two for, please PM me, too. I'm in a domestic open adoption. Thanks!

[frodorocks]

canada adopts.com is a great site with no one breathing down your neck!

[AMom2Two]

There is another support board just for aparents. Please contact Linny she is a moderator on that board. It is a great support forum that is NOT opened to the general public.

If you need help, please PM me.

Wishing you the best!

Hugs,

(ps...made a mistake and changed it above. It is not Linny45 but just "Linny". I made the change in this post but added this disclaimer for anyone who wrote down the wrong name.) Sorry

[ddhuab]

I just joined one yesterday.

D.

[kiwi]

Redsparrow, Any triad group who has been moderated always seems to think the boards are "anti them".

While I agree that things have happened that are painful to you, nothing is different. It's bigger, there are more members, more posts and yes, more moderators to keep the boards safe from the things I only pray you haven't been exposed to. On that note, I used this comparison for someone else and I think it hit home.... People drive in cars all the time. People drive past car accidents all the time. It isn't until you are IN a car accident that driving is REALLY scary. If you've been in a car accident, you know what I mean, everything seems dangerous from behind that windshield. So it is on the forums... you hear about posts being edited, members banned but until it happens to you or someone you liked, it isn't something you notice much.

[redsparrow]

Thank you to everyone who PM'd me. I will check those out.

This board has just become really unsupportive. It never was a terribly supportive place, but it's REALLY bad now.

It's obvious, maybe just to me, that's a very pro-birthfamily, anti-adoptive parent board. So much emphasis is put on biology that it gets hard to stomach. I don't post much here but I do read quite often and it's disturbing to read so much hate towards us -- the parents who choose to bring children into our lives via adoption. If a birthparent asks for support, no problem. If an adoptive parent asks for support, she's an 'adopter' or the 'evil one. ' I'm tired of the double standard.

[kiwi]

Any time any member of the triad is moderated they say it's "Anti Them". There are anti adoption sites and this is far from it.

redSparrow, Show where someone said an adoptive parent was the "evil one" or even used the COMMON term "adopter" in disrespect. From what I have seen, adoptive parents fresh out of their homestudy are the vast majority of people who use the term Adopter.

Please, show me where ON THIS SITE those terms were used and the post and/or poster was allowed to remain. I believe you are making a mountain out of a mole hill in your attitude that the boards are anti adoptive parent... especially since ALL OF THE MODERATORS ARE ADOPTIVE OR FOSTER PARENTS.

[kiwi]

Also, on the main page of the forums, there are TEN categories. FIVE of them are specifically for adoptive parents.

[scarlet52698]

I'm confused Red. What is considered Pro-bparnts and what is considered anti-aparents? Could you point me to some examples so that I can see where you are coming from?

I'm sorry you feel that this is an anit-aparent board, I see more posts about aparents and their adoption process than bparents or adoptee threads. Just my observation.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I actually, at times, have felt that the boards were very anti-birthparent. Funny how it changes from eye to eye. I think every member on the boards has thought, at one point or another, "hmm... that wasn't very nice towards my group/"

Editted to add, so I don't sound judgemental: I thought that the boards were anti-birthparent before I understood the differences between all of us and accepted them for what they are. And no, we don't always get along, because we just don't; we're human, but there has never been an outright attack on EITHER side by moderators/management nor have they allowed personal attacks to take place. Birthparents were memebrs of the threads that were closed as well. We're all in this together.

[mumofone]

I belong to a few boards.

I haven't been paying too much attention lately, but when I came on last night, it was really sad to see some of the threads closed.

If anyone wants to PM me I will give them the sites I belong to. One in particular is very welcoming with birthparents, adoptive parents and those trying to adopt.

Take care.

[Opus]

I find the forums here at adoption.com to be very inclusive. This is a MUCH larger site than most of the others out there. You need the level of moderation that exists here to balance things out. I really do believe that Sarah, Brandy and all the other moderators do their best to be fair and open. I also believe that a lot of folks here need to lighten up considerably. You're not always going to hear what you want to hear and people aren't always going to make nice. Its the nature of the beast, I guess.

Believe me, I've participated in quite a few other boards and you will not get the representation of ALL members of the triad that you get here. I really feel a lot of the people who are seeking out other sites should reconsider as there is plenty of room here for all opinions.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

I just wanted to say that I have always been able to find support on these boards from all sides of the triad. And even from people who dont always agree with me. Thank you mods for at least trying to keep the boards as open as possible.

I am sorry that you are not finding support Redsparrow.... I dont think I have ever seen your posts... but I hope that everything works out well for you! And I hope you give the boards another chance.

[SchmennaLeigh]

PS - For those looking, there are always good (but not as inclusive) groups on both Yahoo! and MSN groups. You're not going to get the same amount of information but they do exist. Check it out. I like a few and am a member of two.