[geke99]

Hi -- We are considering adopting a sibling group of three waiting children ages 6, 7, 11. We now are cleared to speak with the "collaterals" -- that is, their doctors, teachers, therapists, guidance counselors, foster parents. I writing to ask the list for advice on questions that they wished they had asked when they were in the adoption process.

thanks.

[DianeS]

No suggestions on questions for you, but you probably want to post this question in some additional sections, like the Foster Care and Adoption forum, and the Special Needs forum. People who have more experience with adopting older children are more plentiful in those forums.

Congratulations and good luck!

[3+TWINS+1MORE=6]

We were matched with a sibling set of 3, 3 years ago and currently have only one left, One we are still deciding on adoption and the other is now in a mental group home. Some questions that I would ask since we have since found out TONS about these kids, thru the process of raising them, unfortunately. Have they even been abused, mentally,sexually,verbally, any history of sexual abuse, any drug abuse (yes, our kids at the ages of 7,8,9 had done drugs before and were in a gang, they claimed red), have they ever had any trouble with the law (ours had stolen cars, food, etc..), what type of enviroment they came from, past, present (they will still always remember the bad before the good), do they go to therapy, is there any type of attachment issues, any bed wetting, odd behaviors, do they have any learning disabilities, any that may require an IEP, how well do they as a group get along (we had major issues with the girls,as they would just about kill each other with verbal and physical abuse), any mental illness in the parents (we have this issue), any contact with other family members,past or expected in the future, eating habits, such as food hoarding or not eating, and probably TONS more than what I have listed. We currently have the one girl living in a group home, while they further evaluate what her needs will be long term and if we think we can handle them then we will adopt her too. She comes every month for 3 or more days to stay. I wish you the best of luck and if you have any more questions, please PM me. Older kids are alot of work, but well worth it in the end!