[joskimo]

I've been following the Dec/Jan adoptions thread with a lot of interest. It's wonderful seeing the preparation, hearing about the babies being born, finding out about the process. Unfortunately I'm not a Dec/Jan but a Feb. - was wondering if there were others like me who wanted to proved support from the trenches while we wait and share our joy together.

[Leigh131313]

I'm not waiting an arrival....but i sure enjoy hearing all the news as well. I'm definitely here if you need an ear Good Luck!
Leigh

[blueyes113]

Hi Joskimo,

I've been enjoying the December and January thread myself. Our pbmom is also due 2/22/05! It's wonderful to find someone else who is on the same waiting schedule and I would love to share the wait. We've been matched since 9/30 and it's been a long wait. I believe there was another poster on the Dec/Jan thread who was waiting for a Feb birth. I'll try to find the post and pm her to let her know this thread was started. Thanks for starting it! We've had three deaths among extended family and friends in the last week and I could use some uplifting correspondence.

So, have you started decorating the nursery yet? We've got everything and will hopefully be putting up the wallborder in the next few weeks.

Peace to all!

[Leigh131313]

Blueeyes

I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your sad news this holiday season.....you are in my thoughts.
Leigh

[joskimo]

OH yeah, there's more then just me

Leigh, thank you so much for the good wishes!

Blueeyes, didn't you PM me before about referrals? Congrats on your match, since September no doubt, wow, what a long wait. We were just matched a week ago. Today i start on the nursery, yesterday when I was getting the Xmas boxes situated, I got out the cradle DH and Dstepdad made for our daughter, found the baby blankets, some clothes and a case of Dr. Seuss books. Today I start with the room, it's just a wreck, has been a catchall room for a year now.

So do you know gender? Are you in the same area? I'm sorry for your recent lossses, it's nice that you have something so positive in your life to lean on.

[blueyes113]

Hi Jo,

Yes, I did pm you about American Adoptions. Did you decide to use them or are you using someone else?

I envy you your short wait. From match to birth our wait will be almost 5 months. But we do know that she is expecting a boy! Now, if we could just get our daughter to stop saying "No, baby sister" everytime we mention baby brother.........

The pbmom lives several states away from us, but at this point we're not sure where the placement will occur. She is receiving living expenses from us and her home state does not approve them. Our state does approve living expenses and we will be finalizing here, so the agency is trying to see if we can use our state laws. If we can, we'll be travelling to her home state. If we can't, she'll either bring the baby here or to Florida once it is born for the placement. Legally, the agency would prefer for her to travel to Florida prior to the birth and have the entire adoption occur there. But she'd rather stay in her home state and use the doctors she is familiar with, which I certainly understand. She did place a baby once before and brought it to Florida after birth for the placement. But the agency is also licensed in our state, so I'm guessing if she brings the baby anywhere it will be here. So we may or may not be traveling. The only thing we know for sure is that if we travel to her state, we will not be going to the hospital. She doesn't want her family to be rude to us. We'll go where ever we need to, but I just wish I knew which scenario it will be. I'm a bit of a planner and hate having things up in the air.

So, how far away is your pbmom? Will you be traveling?

I think I'll begin arranging the furniture in the baby's room tomorrow. I was hoping dh would be able to get this week off so we could finish up the room, but his co-worker quit last week. He has Friday off so maybe we'll get the wallborder up then. It's self-stick and removable, but I need dh and his laser level to get it straight. I'm going to leave the full size bed in the room for now. With dd, I stayed in her room so dh could sleep instead of putting the bassinet in our room. I may do the same again. I'll post some pics once the room is decorated. I'd love to see yours when it's done as well!

Leigh, thank you for the kind thoughts. It has been a rough week. Thank goodness we have our dd to remind us of the good things in life.

[joskimo]

Blueeyes,

We didn't wind up using AA - I signed up with them then they refused to use my homestudy, we live in a fairly rural location and it took 6 months to get so I wasn't too interested in getting an update so we went with a faciliator instead. Our PBMom is several, several states away as well. She would like us in the delivery room if we can, the logistics are iffy though since it would take us nearly a full day to get there from here flying. So we'll see. Her last one they scheduled induction a week before due date so that the Amom could be there. If there's any way to do that we'd definitely be there, but I don't want to ask her to induce, we'll just wait and see.

I didn't get as far on the room as I would have liked today. I'm off this week and really want it done, but it's just a wreck. Plus it's painted an alien green so that needs to be done for sure. My daughter wanted a jungle room a few years ago, didn't turn out that well. That's a good idea leaving the bed in the room. We have a single in ours right now and I've been wondering if we should leave it or not. We spent a lot of time sleeping seperated when we had DD, so might be worthwhile at least for the first several months. I am hoping to finish geting the boxes out and start taping for paint tomorrow. DH hates it when I paint so I might be able to get him to do it.

So that must be frustrating having so many details up in the air. We know we are traveling, her state is supposed to be good for adoption laws. We are paying some expenses as well, but were advised by the agency today who's worked with her previously that she may ask for more, which is frustrating. Have you met your PBMom? You said she'd delivered before, I know every pregnancy is different, but did she deliver early or late? Ours has delivered pretty much within the week of due date each time, not that you can count on consistency, but still, at this point you hold on to every bit of information you have.

Well I'm glad you joined the thread, so funny our due dates match, that must be a good sign right?

J

[blueyes113]

Hi Jo,

I really need to go to bed! It's 2:20 am here! But I wanted to quickly answer. We haven't met the pbmom. She doesn't want to meet until placement. I don't know if we'll talk or not before she delivers. Right now, she doesn't want to. She is raising a 4 yr old who I believe was delivered at 40 weeks, and the baby she placed she delivered at 39 weeks, so she's been pretty consistent as well. Both boys were 8 lbs something so I think we're looking at another 8 lb boy. But dd was 9 lbs 11 ozs so I'm used to big babies!

I think the fact that they have the same due date, and that they've both placed before are both good signs! Now we just have to wait and see who delivers first. Oh, in case you're interested, I have this silly little counter on my desktop. It's telling me that the pbmoms are due in 7 weeks and 6 days as of Wednesday. (I'm not sure what time zone you're in. I live on the East Coast.)

Have a good night and we'll chat some more tomorrow!

[katmom2]

Hi! We are also using American Adoptions and are matched in Feb. This is our second time around with them. Actually they contacted us this time. Our ds's bmom is prego again and wants us to adopt this will be a full sibling of my sons. We were also matched in Sept. like you. It has been a long wait this time around for us so, I know what you are going through. We were told though two different due dates. Agency says Feb 1st and bmom's socialworker says Feb. 11th. We will have a phone conference with her Jan. 4th, kind of nervous about that since we haven't spoke to her since my son's birth.
I'm going to start getting things ready for our trip soon. I'm so glad to have found this thread. It sure helps talking to others. Thanks, just trying to stay busy.

Mom to
a beautiful daughter by adoption that is 7 yrs old.
a wonderful son by adoption that is 4 yrs old.
Matched 9/04
Due date 2/1/05 or 2/11/05
a boy or girl it will be a surprise.

[joskimo]

Hi all,

Well we were supposed to tlak to pbmom again last night but signals got crossed. The agency wants us to speak several times before the adoption to develop a relationship but I don't think PBmom is that interested, she selected us and I think that was good for her, we've talked once but she kept it pretty brief, I'm just not so sure she wants to do a weekly thing for the next 2 months.

Katmom2 - I'm so glad you hopped onto our thread and congratulations. A full sibling to your son, that must be exciting and you must have relative ease of mind since she's placed with you previously. There is so much anxiety worrying about failed adoptions, you must be able to not have to worry about that. Congratulations! And your due date is nearly 2 weeks ahead of that for Blueeyes and myself -- color me jealous!!!

blueyes - 8 and 9 pounds are good sizes, my dd was 9.2 and I loved it, tiny babies scare the daylights out of me! I haven't asked what size her other babies were but I think I will, again I know every pregnancy and every baby is different but still it's nice to know in case there's a trend.

A nice thing in our town since my daughter was born is we have all these consignment shops now, it's been fun to take a peak, I'm still reluctant to buy too much, fear of failure for one reason, unknown gender is the other.

Our pbmom is starting up with a new doctor today, she's moving into a different area for the last month of the pregnancy, closer to the hospital that the agency wants the delivery, so perhaps the new doc will talk her into an ultrasound. I'd just love to know, either gender I'm happy, but would love to know for preperation pursposes.

Okay, I"m off and running -- will check in later --

J

[joskimo]

just got a call from our agency rep and the pbmom and she had her doc apt. with her new physician and they did an ultrasound and we are having a girl!!!!

[katmom2]

joskimo,
Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you that you found the baby is a girl. Now you will know what to plan for. Our son's bmom still hasn't had an ultrasound done. We are hoping she will have one done soon. We were told that by having one this late we would probably not be able to tell if it's a boy or girl. You give me some hope that we might still find out. Also, it would be nice to find out an exact due date since we have two.

We have had alot of anxiety over this adoption as it has had it's usual roller coaster ride. Our son's bmom had a baby after our son which she asked us to adopt only to change her mind two weeks after asking us. We are hoping and praying that all goes smoothly this time and it works out.

Congrats Again!!!
On the baby girl. I'm so excited for you. Babies are such a blessing.

Mom to
dd by adoption 7 yrs old
ds by adoption 4 yrs old
Matched to adopt 9/04
due date 2/1/05 or 2/11/05

[blueyes113]

Jo, a girl! That's wonderful! Now you can go shopping in the consignment shops. Girl clothes are so much fun. Then they become 2 1/2 and will only wear blue jeans. I'm thrilled our pbmom is expecting a boy, but the clothes just aren't as cute.

katmom2 welcome! This is great! Jo and I are "expecting" about the same date, and you and I are using the same agency. And, all three pbmoms have placed before. But I am also jealous of your earlier due date. I feel like we've been matched forever. The adoptive parents of our future sons full biological brother were also contacted when pbmom became pregnant again. But they turned down the match due to the living expenses. They just couldn't afford another adoption right now. We hope to be able to keep in touch with the family after the adoption takes place so our son can contact his brother when he gets older.

Well, dh got out of work early today and the front bedroom is now the nursery! We still have to assemble the crib, but we won't be needing that until about May. The bassinet is already there. We're leaving the bed because I'll probably spend the first few weeks in the room with the baby so dh can sleep.

Have a good night!

[joskimo]

I think it's interesting that our February babies will all have siblings in other adoptive homes. What is your plan to do with that information? Our daughter's siblings live in different states, not close at all. One of the Amom's is interested in maintaining contact but not sure about the others. I think for me I want that information but not sure if that should be offered when the child is young or saved for when they are of age. I know it's nothing we need to decide right now. DH and I are on different sides of the fence on many aodption issues, we're both adoptees - he as an infant and me via step-father adoption very early in life so for us it's more then theory but dh is kind of stubborn and figures his way is the right way -- don't we all??

It is exciting knowing the gender now. The pbmom didn't even tell the agency worker, she wanted to call us first to tell us, isn't that sweet? The agency is fed-exing us the sonogram pic which we should have tomorrow. My first baby picture! I haven't gotten a baby book yet, have you guys?

Blueeyes, congrats on the nursery, nice feeling huh? I'm getting there. I don't have the crib yet, is on order - will have next month, but I have a lovely cradle my husband and father built when we had DD.

Katmom2, how much contact do you have with your pbmom? Do you know if she's got a doc apt. coming up? I was so pleased to find out the gender, we'd have been happy either way but knowing is so special. I'm sure the ultrasound would help them with the duedate as well. I was hoping our original due date was off, but no, the ultrasound confirmed it. 7 1/2 weeks seems soooo long from now.

[katmom2]

joskimo,
My dd also has a sibling living in another adoptive home. Unfortunately we don't know where he or she is. We decided to go ahead and tell her since my son is going to meet his bmom and possibley some siblings. We were going to wait on telling them until they were of age, but we didn't feel it would be fair that our son was going to know and that she wouldn't. Our dd is almost 8 and we just recently told her that she has other siblings and that one other one was adopted also. Not sure exactly how much she understands yet, but she did ask me some questions about it. I told her when she is of age, I will help her look for them if she wants to. I feel like it is very important to be as honest and open as you can with everything. After that she was satisfied and nothing has come up of it since. My ds is still too young to understand much, but we did tell him he has other siblings also. When we go to pick up the baby his bmom might have some of her kids there, so we wanted him to know. We also told him he will get to meet his bmom and he is very excited about that.

That is really neat that you will get to see a picture of your baby. I'm jealous. Wish we had one too. You asked if I had bought a baby book yet? Well, the answer is no. I haven't bought anything yet in fear she could change her mind again. I have a few things left from my son's birth and my dd's also we have the crib and bassinet. I plan on going out this next week once the kids are back in school and buying a few basics we will need while at the hospital. We are traveling out of state so ICPC will take a week or so. I have some friends and relatives that have loaned us some things also. We sold everything a few years back thinking we were done. My best friend wants to have a baby shower for me, but I told her lets wait until we are back home with the baby.

We get an update from the socialworker on how my son's bmom is doing about every other week. We had one phone conference set up but that fell through. She has a doctor appt. set up for Jan 4th and we also have a new phone conference time set up for the same day. Hopefully this time it will happen and she can fill us in on more details.

blueyes,
Thanks for the welcome. It really does help talking with others that are in the same boat so to speak. I feel like we have been matched forever too. We never had to wait this long on our last two adoptions. That will be great if you can keep in contact with the other adoptive family that has the bio brother.

Well I gotta go for now.

mom of
dd 7 yrs old
ds 4 yrs old
matched to adopt 9/04
due 2/1/05 or 2/11/05