[HopeAlive]

Sorry Jo. I read your post and saw that your "pbmother" instead of your "mother" when you said that your mom was wearing the adoption like a badge of honor. My fault, totally misunderstood. I thought you and your pbmother knew the same people and she was going around talking about the adoption and proud. Which is wonderful, but I thought it seemed odd. HA! Shows you how much sleep I've been getting.

I don't have the heart to read the Dec/Jan adoption thread. I'm too scared and can't do that to myself. Is it that awful? Oh God, I don't know if I can take it....

Well, our pbmother is due for an ultrasound today though I'm thinking we won't hear anything until at least the end of the week. But I"m hoping for good news.

Let's see...my guess for our bmother's delivery? I don't have a reallyl strong feeling one way or the other but think it might be the last week in Jan or First week in Feb. The u/s might give me a better hint. I'm ready NOW!

Back to work.

-S

[Overwhelmed!]

HopeAlive- Please don't be too afraid to read the December/January adoption thread. Yes, there were a couple of adoptions that fell through and that's tough, but there have been many that have worked. Our's worked!

I understand what you're saying though. I had to stop reading the "failed" threads as we were waiting for Jacob's arrival and as we waited for the birth mother to sign the termination paperwork. Reading about the failed adoptions just stressed me out and I couldn't sleep at night. I think that's why, after Jacob arrived and his birth mother signed the termination paperwork, I started a new thread called "Angels Among Us- SUCCESS stories, please." I thought there weren't enough positive stories being posted out there which is a shame when so many adoptions DO work out. I wanted others on their adoption journey to have so encouragement and inspiration. I hope to see YOUR success story posted on that thread when the time is right!

Best of luck to you and to all the others! When the adoptions DO work out, it's such a blessing. Having Jacob in our lives these past 3 weeks has been so amazing! He's our first and we love him dearly!

[HopeAlive]

Overwhelmed,

I'm soooo happy and thrilled for you that your adoption went well. Jakob is beautiful. You are certainly blessed. Part of why I can't read the threads is that I start comparing my adoption process to others that have had a failed adoption and it's just to hard on me. I'm realistic enough to know that adoptions can and do fall through, I just can't take the added stress right now. I do promise to post on your thread once our adoption is finalized! I can't wait to join you!

take care, and again, congratulations on your new little one.

-S

[joskimo]

Overwhelmed, congratulations on your bundle of joy, he's a beautiful little guy, you are very blessed.

I do watch the Dec/Jan thread, it's so wonderful to hear about the families being made, it's so heartbeaking when plans go awry, it helps me keep one foot on the ground as my dreams of baby joy lift me up. Acknowledging the reality of our situations, of the risk, isn't easy.

HopeAlive -- good luck with the u/s -- can't wait to hear about it. I love having ours, can't see much but love having it.

I'm so glad everyone's doing the due date pool, didn't hear from Sadiegirl, but their due date was 1/31 and she thought the pbmom was going to go late anyways.

Katmom - hope your pbmom's doc apt. went well, I always get nervous about those although all of ours have gone okay, when she goes. She gets alittle flakey about that from time to time.

Her next apt. is 1/24, standard apt. I'm sure we'll hear how it goes. Oh, the pbmom got the care package I sent yesterday, thank you all for the suggestions and I guess the favorite item was the scarf I crotched, so much for me thinking that was dorky huh?

Blueyes -- it's cold here too. I normally bring my dog to town with me to walk her during the day 'cuz she gets restless at home all day, but it's like 5 degrees out. I don't think it's supposed to really break until next week either. Had to sleep with sweatpants last night!

So for those of you who have to travel for ICPC, what all are you planning on bringing? We're going to be gone for 5-7 days. I don't want to bring that much clothes so am already committing to going to a laudrymat. Trying to figure out how much baby gear to bring as well. We're traveling from one cold climate location to another cold climate so will probably be indoor most of the time.

[sadiegirl]

Hello all! Checking in here! I so feel like I "belong" to this group even though pbmom is due 1/31! I'm with Hope and I mean no offense here, but it seems like a lot of the Dec/Jan postings have had failed placements and I am scared to be a part of it!

I called our agy today and secy said the director is meeting w/pbmom to go over birth plan. Once that is done, then we ALL are meeting to go over it. They will also inform the hospital staff of the plan. OK, I am SUCH a planner that I thought, you mean we are going over this next week?? That's with about 2 weeks to go!!!! Not enough time! But that's the planner in me. The secy also mentioned that our pbmom has dropped but that has absolutely no bearing on an imminent birth does it?

Can you tell I want her to go early? Even though I think she'll go late? LOL, my family has a due date pool going as well. My entire immediate family all thinks it will happen before the due date. My guess is Feb 8th (she is due 1/31). I told my family the closest to the actual date gets to hold the baby 1st, LOL.

Anyway, painting the nursery this weekend (3 day one, ) egads, that's when it's really going to become REAL.

+++ thoughts and baby dust to everyone!
We have, gasp, 19 days or so...

[HopeAlive]

I'm keeping to the tradition of overpacking. We have to travel from Wisconsin where it's cold and raining (what? rain and t-storms in Jan? Where's the snow? ) where it will freeze all that rain tonight. And then we are going to the south for our delivery where it's nearly Hot! Not to mention that we have to come back to the cold. How to pack for that? Our atty told us to be prepared to be there 1-2 weeks while we wait for the ICPC. I packed two little outfits per day times 1 week and one little sleeper/day. I have a very full suitcase for him! Plus two diaper bags full of bottles, a few diapers, formula, etc. Then there's the car seat and we're either bringing a Moses basket or some kind of portable bassinet for him to sleep in since our pediatrician doesn't want him sleeping in his car seat. We haven't even packed ourselves yet! Good Lord...what are we going to do? Oh well, at least I'll have lots of stuff!

Okay, I need to vent for a moment. This adoption experience has been...well, an experience. If we bring home our little one, it'll all be worth it. But I must say, that adoption professionals leave something to be desired. We started this process with our pbmother's atty who is so sweet and kind but fairly inexperienced and didn't know how to bring it all together (and neither did we). Our first atty's were from our state and supposedly "the best" and I thought they were terrible. They never got their heads out of their a**es, didn't do anything for 2 months (when there were many issues to be sorted out and an pbmother account to be managed) and cost us $250/hr. I'm thinking of filing a complaint with the BBB. I tried to send them an informative, but pleasant letter of my frustrations and concerns and they totally blew me off. Now, our current atty in our bmother's state is also one of "the best" and she is. She is organized and managed to help save our financial butts with this adoption with her knowledge and organziation. However, we've never adopted before and this has been a learning experience. Not to mention, the first 2 months were so stressful (thanks to our crappy atty's). I have a hard time talking with our current atty because of our hours and her hours and the time difference. She sent a letter saying that they hadn't receieved our home study (though our s.w. said she mailed it) and to have it sent asap. Well, I've been so busy at work and at work before she is and home after they have closed. I called today and they answer their phones themselves after hours and got her partner who was dealing with a screaming/tatrum child and told me (after I explained I was having a hard time calling when they're in) that I needed to call tomorrow morning. Then she hung up. Ummmmm....okay, but not only was she kind of rude, but come on! I just explained why I was having a hard time getting through. I just feel like so many adoption "professionals" really aren't very professional at all. I mean, get an answering service or something if you can't answer the phone without your children screaming (this isn't the first time it's happened either). Have some courtesy to those that are PAYING YOU to represent them. And paying you A LOT OF MONEY! It's enough to make me want to go to law school and become an adoption atty to help those trying to adopt. It seems that all their energy is spent with the pbparents and aparents seem to be an aside. I'm just annoyed. I just expect to be treated respectfully if we're paying someone to work for us! Is that wrong? ARGH!

Well, to end on kind of a funny note...we have had the strangest weather in Wisconsin this week. I just put my dogs outside in the backyard because they wanted to go and play so badly. I then went to do something and when I came back, I didn't realize it was now a downpour/thunderstorm! There were my poor pups drenched at the door and very happy to see their mama! They were pretty cute soaking wet. Poor little guys!

Okay, enough of the novel. I just needed to get those things out since I was so irritated!

No word on the ultrasound yet. Hopefully soon!

Take care. Happy Hump Day!

-S

[Leigh131313]

I have been disapointed as well with adoption professionals...i think the key word is PROFESSIONALS as in you PAY them...and pay them....and PAY them. I can almost guaruntee that most of them have not been personally involved in an adoption in any way shape or form.

Oh well, at least you are right about one thing.....when your babe comes home, it will all be worth it.

Leigh

[Overwhelmed!]

Originally Posted by joskimo

Overwhelmed, congratulations on your bundle of joy, he's a beautiful little guy, you are very blessed.

I do watch the Dec/Jan thread, it's so wonderful to hear about the families being made, it's so heartbeaking when plans go awry, it helps me keep one foot on the ground as my dreams of baby joy lift me up. Acknowledging the reality of our situations, of the risk, isn't easy.

joskimo and HopeAlive- I understand exactly what you both are saying and can empathize completely...I was in your shoes just a month ago. It's smart to try to keep grounded and realistic as you wait. It's so hard, isn't it? I wish you both (and all the others) the very best and look forward to seeing your post on the "success stories" thread!

[Binyasa]

Sorry to hear you are all having difficulties with your adoption professionals. Out lawyer has been excellent so far, and it's been so helpful to have someone to rely on. I'd be beside myself if I was trying to deal with all this emotional stuff and didn't have good professional guidance. Argh!

Things are progressing with us... we're flying S. and her son here tomorrow, so she can be in our state for the birth. We had my PCP look over her/the baby's medicals and everything looks great! We were worried about this step, so we're feeling thankful that everything is okay.

S. is already experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions, which is making me nervous, since she has to fly tomorrow. Her due date is 2/21, so we're hoping we have a few more weeks to prepare before this baby boy comes!

Things are coming together though... and so far S. seems incredibly committed to her adoption plan. Hopefully things stay positive.

Are any of you batting around names? We think we've settled on ours...

[joskimo]

okay, had THE DREAM last night. We got the call, for some reason I had family and friends hanging around my house which is not normal. And my golden retriever was having puppies, she had 3 of the homliest puppies I ever did see, and she's spayed! So in my dream I'm just frantic to get things done to go. How funny huh? So apparently as calm and cool and collected I am on the outside - my subconsiousness must be a basket case!

HopeAlive -- good vent! I'm sorry for all the stumbling blocks in the road. Our path started pretty rough too. It took 6 months to get our homestudy. We started off going for state agency adoption. We've been approved for 6 months and we've never gotten one phone call, not one. Things have been smooth sailing since we decided to go domestic though (knock on wood). Here's to hoping all of our professional complaints are behind us now!

As far as packing, I'm an overpacker from way back. In fact our last vacation we met up with my parents in Mexico and the airline "misplaced" our luggage, it was fun to tell my mom I finially learned how to pack light
Our ICPC we're planning on a week (I hope) and I'm going to try to contain packing to under that many days worth, in part because we're so rural I know it'll be cheaper to do some shopping while I'm there, also nothing like a little mall therapy when you're cooped up in a hotel room for a week+. Most of the hotels we're looking at have cribs, but I do love those baby Moses baskets. havne't bought one yet though.

Binyasa - good luck w/Pbmom, how exciting to have her coming. Have you met her in person yet? I woldn't worry about Braxton Hicks, they occur long, long before labor, it's not an indicator of preterm labor. I thik I had them for several months before I delivered, so no worries, you still have time to prepare for your little guy.

Sadiegirl - we're painting the nursery this weekend too. Idon't know how my dh finially agreed to it. It's this dreadful green because dd#1 wanted a "jungle" bedroom. Then she moved bedrooms like 6 months later! And not that dh wants the color to stay alien green but he's all grumbly about how paint is going to start peeling, blah, blah, blah, this is the last time we paint it before we sell it, blah, blah, blah, hahaha. He's a grouch about paint.

Okay all 40 days and counting!

J

[HopeAlive]

I finally finished the letter we were writing to give to our bmother after the adoption consent is signed. It was hard to write, not wanting to say anything to offend her or upset her, yet trying to tell her how much we respect her and are in awe of her strength. But IT'S FINALLY DONE! Yippee! It just felt like it was hanging over my head and I knew it was going to be hard...so yea, it's done!

Still no word about the u/s but that's not unexpected. It was done at the hospital and I think it would take a day or two for her OB to get the results and then call us. We'll check in with the office tomorrow and see if they've heard anything.

We're off to visit my mom this weekend and shop for a changing table. I'm borrowing a portable bassinet for the trip. Soon! Soon! Soon! Tomorrow our bmother enters her 37th week! EEK! If you could see into my house right now you'd see me doing a happy dance, though it's not very pretty.

29 days and counting! TGIF EVERYONE! Have a wonderful weekend!

-S

[katmom2]

Hi! Just thought I would peak in for a minute to see what is going on. Nothing new here. Socialworker and our son's bmom is playing phone tag it sounds like. Just kind of waiting and waiting and wishing the baby would come soon. Well, gotta go for now.

27 days to go Yeah!

amom to
dd 7 years old
ds 4 years old
matched 9/04
due date 2/11/05
found out it's a girl 1/7/05

[HopeAlive]

Hi! Did everyone have a nice weekend? We were busy working on the nursery. Does anyone know how to post pics on your posting? If someone does, let me know and I'll show some pics of our nursery and how it's coming along! I think it's really cute!

Hope everyone has a great week!

26 days to go! Kat, we're on the same countdown!

-S

[joskimo]

I haven't posted pics yet, so I'm no help at all, but we did get our nursery painted this weekend too. Will hang up the curtains tomorrow. Crib isn't coming for 2 weeks yet so I can't say that the room is together yet, but it's on it's way. I have a cradle in there, but it's likely to move to my bedroom for the first month or two...(or...)

I have nothing new at all to report, just in this horrible wait time. What have you all been doing to keep the wait from consuming you?

[blueyes113]

Hi All,

Nothing new to report here. I've just been waiting, too, and fighting a bad cold.

To post a picture:
1) Use Reply to Thread, not the quick thing.
2) Under Additional Options (it's below the first Submit Reply button) click on Manage Attachments
3) Click on Browse and find the picture on your computer, and then Open
4) Click Upload
5) Close that window and it's attached!

I've attached a picture of the new nursery below. I'd love to see what all of yours look like.

36 days and counting!