[sadiegirl]

Jo,

LOL, everyone who knows our story (colleagues, family, friends, etc) and when we are due, tells us that THEY all had their babies BEFORE their due date. In fact, I literally don't know of anyone that I personally know that has gone after.

Of course the fact that we are anxiously waiting, and have been since August, means that our pbmom will be 2 weeks late, I just know it!

I hope none of us need that padding either! I have been waiting 9 YEARS to be a mommy and I can't wait much longer!

[Binyasa]

I'm excited to say I am able to join you all in saying I'm officially matched with an expectant mom due in Feb.

!!!

I'm going to try and cover everything that people are going to ask or have asked in here, but if I miss something, feel free to ask!

I'm 27, my partner (we're a same-sex couple) is also 27, and we're now officially matched with an expectant mother who currently has one little boy. She's had ultasounds that have given conflicting due dates: either the 1st (!!) or the 21st. Ultrasounds show the baby to be a boy!

We honestly had just gotten started with our adoption process, when I put up one ad online and ended up with a number of leads/responses. S., the expectant mom we're matched with as of today, responded to us on the 27th of December. We talked a few times over email and just talked on the phone this morning. We all decided this was a perfect fit, so she called our lawyer this afternoon and is having all the paperwork/medical releases overnighted to her so she can fill them out with her doctor on Monday.

If things are okay with the medicals (and my lawyer seems to think they will be -- no drugs/alcohol/genetic disorders/etc) than we'll be flying S. and her other child (3) to ou state to finish her pregnancy and deliver in our hometown. !!! Since she can move here for the rest of her pregnancy, we can go home with the baby right after birth -- even though our homestudy is still in process. Thank God.

This expectant mom has actually been matched a few times with flaky Aparents, the last of whom turned off her utilities right before Christmas after deciding that the baby might not be 'light' enough (baby boy is multiracial), so she's really looking for a stable placement with a family that won't string her along.

Our lawyer is excellent and has screened her quite a bit and thinks she's very committed to adoption. She's already talked about wanting us to be there for the birth and 'roomed' with the baby.

This is all happening so fast!

A few things I worry about:

1. Feeling excited. I am so concerned that I'm going to build this up emotionally and then have it fall through. Things feel solid, but I feel as though I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. My mother is *beside* herself, and is already calling the baby "her grandchild". Argh. I feel like I should keep a standing reservation at the local mental hospital in case things fall apart!

2. S. wants a completely closed adoption with no contact. We have her first and last name, and she's given us the name and number of a friend who could get in touch with her later on if we needed medical info or whathaveyou, but my partner and I were really open to the idea of a more open adoption for our child's best interests and are sad she doesn't want (at least at this point) any future contact. At least I'll be able to get to know her well over the next few weeks so I can give that info to my son (again, if this works out).

Anyway! That's my intro. Things are happening fast, so I'll be sure to pop in and give updates and I love hearing how it goes for each of you. May we all be mommas SOON!!!

Erin

[blueyes113]

Welcome Sadiegirl and Erin! Glad to have to join us.

Sadiegirl, my dd was born a day after her due date! Now you know someone who delivered after their due date, LOL!

I think we all try to guard our hearts a little, reminding ourselves that nothing is real until pbparents sign, but it's hard to not get excited. It's also hard to not have people be excited for us like they would be if we were pregnant, because, in a way, we are. (Does that sentence make any sense? I just took some Benadryl and I think it's affecting my writing ability.) So now that our pbmom's due date is getting closer, we've started telling more people. Luckily, we've found nothing but support and good wishes! (And almost everyone knows someone else who has adopted!)

Erin, I know what you mean about "Grandma". My mother even wrote "and Baby" on our Christmas card. As far as the closed adoption, just make sure pbmom knows how to contact you and that you will always accept contact, and then leave it up to her. She may change her mind in time once the initial hurt is gone. Or she may not be able to deal with contact. Just love the boy and make sure he always knows how much respect you have for his bmom. Oh, I'm glad she's expecting a boy! I was beginning to feel outnumbered! It also sounds like your pbmom needed to find several flaky paparents. If she hadn't, she never would have found you, because your profile wouldn't have been there yet.

Kat, I think Tosha finally got her power back. I got a read receipt for the e-mail I sent last week.

Hi Jo and S. Hope all is well with you both.

I hope you are all having a great weekend!

Quote of the day (from a member of the car club we belong to): "You look really fantastic for being 8 months pregnant!"

Let the countdown continue: 44 days (as of Sunday) and waiting.

[katmom2]

Welcome Sadiegirl and Binyasa...

I hear you all when you say your nervous about pbmoms changing their minds. I've been a mess since we started this whole process. Some days its better and some days its worse. It won't be long Feb is just around the corner. So hang on.

Jo and blueyes, I'm not leaving here even if its a January baby. Your stuck with me. LOL.

Gotta go its late. Will write more tomorrow.

amom to
dd 7 years old
ds 4 years old
matched to adopt 9/04
due date 2/11/05
found out It's a Girl 1/7/05

[joskimo]

binyasa, welcome to the group and congratulations on your match! It sounds like the Fates have had a hand in bringing you to your son, that's wonderful. As far as the birthmother wanting a closed adoption, if you have her complete name you are steps above many families out there. She knows your names too I assume so even closed, there is knowledge and that will be beneficial later in life. Regarding race, we were specifically looking for a child of color. My husband is Eskimo and my daughter was adamant that she wanted a sibling of color. We are on a few registries for native families but nothing panned out and now we are expecting a wonderful AA daughter and couldn't be happier.

I"ve been telling more people too, as it gets closer I'm less restrained then i was. Went to a 40th bday party for a friend last night so got to tell some other friends we hadn't seen in awhile, the benefit of that being that they told me they had a storage until packed full of baby clothes and other gear that they offered to donate to the cause, I thought that was sweet, we certainly didn't keep much from dd#1.

My mother as well seems to be wearing her status like a badge. I saw a bunch of her coworkers the other day and everyone knew and congratulated.

Are you all getting the questions though? It's tough fielding some of them, I know it's only going to escalate once we have the baby.

Okay, you all have a wonderful Sunday --

J

[sadiegirl]

jo,
What kinds of questions?

I get the "any news yet" at work (uh, if she had the baby I wouldn't be at work!) and I also get the do we know the gender q. (We do not).

We have 23 days and counting...

[sadiegirl]

Anyone else jump now when the phone rings? Used to be b/c we hoped it was the agy calling saying they have a bmom who wants to meet us...

Now it's jump time to see if it's that our pbmom is in labor.

Sigh

[HopeAlive]

Welcome Sadiegirl and Erin! Nice to have you on board. How was everyone's weekend? Jo, it seems odd that you and your bmother have acquaitances in common. NOt that it can't happen, but I don't know how I would feel. But that's just it, I'm sure if I were in your shoes it would be fine. I'm just half a country away from my bmother so I don't have that chance to share in the pregnancy. I think it's wonderful that she is comfortable sharing the news!

Our pbmother is due for an ultrasound mid-week so we should know more then. And my heart has been pausing with the phone ringing for a week or so now. I really feel it could be any day. I hope I don't have to wait too long.

Have a great week everyone.

-S

[joskimo]

Hi all, well we got to speak to our pbmom again today, well I did, the time was unscheduled and dh had a meeting, so that was that. She's feeling phsycailly uncomfortable, baby isn't in the right position yet and is bothering her when she wiggles. I know that the baby should be getting intoo position pretty soon. She asked about my daughter and I told her how excited that a girl was coming, she seemed to liek to hear about how much dd#1 is looking forward to a sister. I think it made her understand that this is a family affair. WE talked about the uncomfortablness of late pregnancy and stuff. It was a pretty brief conversation, she never seems too comfortable on the phone but nice and pleasant.

Hopealive - I must have misphrased something, we don't live anywhere close to the bmom, in fact it's going to take 3 different flights to get to her area. Please let us know about the U/S when you get it!

By questions, I mean well-meaning friends who ask about why the pbmom is placing or even ask the cost, kind of personal things that you aren't comfortable broadcasting.

Sadiegirl -- I've got a month and a half, a month if pbmom is early so no, I"m not jumping yet, but I"m sure I will be in a few weeks.

43 days and counting. Have you all been by Dec/Jan? My heart breaks for the situations that haven't worked out. It's so sad and so scary what risk we all put ourselves at.

Warm wishes and happy thoughts so us all

J

[blueyes113]

Hi Ladies,

No much to report here. Just waiting like all of you. I don't jump yet when the phone rings. But I'm sure as soon as Feb. 1st hits I will!

Jo - We haven't had any questions like that. The closest we've had is sil asking how someone could give up a child. We just tell her that we can't imagine how hard it must be, but if pbmoms didn't, we wouldn't be able to adopt a newborn. I, too, have been saddened by the failed adoptions on the December/January thread. My heart breaks for them, and it also makes me very aware that none of our situations is definite until it happens. I pray that none of us has to go through what they are going through now.

(((((Group Hug!)))))

It's 12:45 am here, so 42 days and counting!

Talk to you all tomorrow!

[katmom2]

Hi!
Nothing new to report here.

I have started the jump thing everytime the phone rings. Especially since our socialworker put us on alert mode.

I get lots of questions thrown at me. Mainly about adoption. I think people are just curious wondering what it's all about. Sometimes I get tired of answering them but sometimes I don't mind at all. Gotta go for now. Talk with you all soon.

amom to
dd 7 years old
ds 4 years old
matched to adopt 9/04
due date 2/11/05
found out it's a girl 1/7/05

[joskimo]

Okay, I'm feeling like we're all in that same "living in limbo" state of mind. Our due dates all seem to be between 3-6 weeks from now. How about a contest to see which of us can guess the real due date for our expectant child and see who comes closest?

Our official due date is 2/22 and I'm going to go 9 days early and guess 2/13.

[blueyes113]

Jo, that sounds like fun.

We have the same due date as Jo, 2/22, but I'm guessing 2/16 for our pbmom. For some reason, that date has been in my head for months.

Have a great day everyone! It's snowing here, but it's supposed to be close to 60 on Thursday. This crazy weather is probably why I have a cold. I hope the rest of you are healthy!

[katmom2]

Hi! Talked to Socialworker today. She didn't hear from our son's bmom yet, so we don't know if she went to the doctor yesterday or not. She was going to put a call into to her. Also, she is going to send a request in to get a copy of the Sonogram report and any other test that have been done. Anyway, I let you know when I hear any news.
I would like to play your contest. Our official due date is Feb. 11th, but she is already dilated to 3, so I'm going to guess she will be two weeks early and deliver on Jan. 28th.
Gotta go.

amom to
dd 7 years old
ds 4 years old
matched to adopt 9/04
due date 2/11/05
found out it's a girl 1/7/05

[Binyasa]

Oh! Great idea...

We have *two* due dates... one calculated from S.'s last period of 2/1 and one from a sonogram of 2/21... soooo, I'm going to randomly guess the 14th, since he already is loved so much.

Can't wait to hear the stories of all your births!