[marclr911]

We were just contacted privately via our OB about a 13 yr old girl due in Jan. 2005...parents just found out, looking to place. OUr OB did an ultrasound and says "everything is ok" but I have some concerns about a baby born to a girl that young who apparentely has had no prenatal care. ...Not to mention the issue of dealing with a 13 year old and her parents...

(We already have a 4.5 year old thru an open adoption...and just had a failed placement [change of heart] this past July.)

Any feedback would be appreciated. Merry Christmas. +

mr

[taurusgal29]

Wow...that's a tough one. Having taught middle school, I can kind of speak to the mentality of a 13 year old. Several of my students were pregnant, and when they subsequently gave birth, they'd parade their children around like little dolls. I'd be worried that a 13 year old mightn't be too secure in an adoption plan. She's just a baby herself, and cannot fully comprehend what it takes to raise a child. She might think that it might be nice to have somebody to love her and to be able to dress up and show off. It's really sad, but I can only speak from my own field of experience.
All newborn adoptions are risky, but I'd say this one is extra risky. If you're willing to put yourself out there, then I say go for it.
Best of luck to you and your family...

[frodorocks]

Our bmother was 14 and had next to no prenatal care.Our dd is perfect and has had no problems because of it.Our birthmother never waivered in her adoption plan.Her parents were very supportive and helped her throught he process.I wouldn't judge the adoption based on her age.Find out if her parents are behind her and if she has the support she will need to get through all of the difficult emotions she will face.It is really hard to watch a child go through such a life altering experience.We have worked hard to be supportive and sensitive to our bmothers needs but it has payed off in a wonderful relationship with a very special young lady.Good luck to you whatever you decide!

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Gosh, that poor little girl! I hope her parents are helping her to deal with this. She must be scared to death!

I have a question, with a child that young, do her parents have the right to make the decision for her or does she have the same rights as an older mom? I'm just curious. I don't understand how your 13 y/o daughter could be 8 months pregnant and you not know it??

Also, would it be possible to meet her and possibly her parents before the birth? You would get a better feel for how she's feeling about all this.

Best of luck in your decision.

Michelle

[Marlis]

Well the birthmother of my son was 13 also she had very little prenatal care as she did not figure out until she was 6 months along what was going on. Her parents were very supportive in the adoption process. She was mature enough to realize there was not way she was able to take care of this baby and simply stated she did not want to give up her life at this time to have a baby. She never waivered in her decision. She stated she did not want to meet us or see the baby when he was born. Well she ended up having a c-section and was moved to another floor at the hospital as soon as she was out of recovery. She decided the next day she wanted to come down to the nursery to "see the baby through the window" she did not wan to hold him or meet us still. We arranged to be gone when they came down. VERY hard to do but even if she changed her mind there would have been nothing we could have done. They day she left the hospital she said she wanted to meet us and see the baby one more time. She came down while I happend to be feeding him. I did what was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I asked her if she wanted to hold her son. She said yes.. EVERYONE around looked at me like I had lost my mind. She held him for about 3 minutes and handed him back to me and said " thank you for allow me to hold my son I know now you are the loving person I want raising my son without a doubt." I have spoken to her mother some she said her daughter was able to move on easier since she met us and was able to hold her son and know he is very much loved and cared for. We have left it open for her to contact us as she and the baby get older. Like when he is 18 yrs old is what has been said. I have no idea if she will. She has alot of growing up to do so who knows where her life will take her. My son is now 15 months old and we have not ahd any problems health wise or with the adoption.