[SadieAnn]

Our son was born this wk and he is home now. We are more in love that words can express. But trajedy has struck and bfather & his family are fighting. They pledged their support of adoption and then showed up birth day and made an ugly scene. If this family would of good character it would be easier to survive the blow, but they are not. Violence in family, etc. Bmother worked hard through out pregnancy to gain bfather's support and she & her family are also crushed. If we lose him he will go back to bmom. We know she will love him dearly but we also know she'll have a fight on her hands with bfather & family. She loves her son and worked so long to come to chose adoption for him. She wanted the life we were commited to provide him. We feel so bad for this baby, bmom and us.

In addition baby had some medical issue and was in hospital 5 days. We stayed by his side and went through each medical test with white knuckles. Fortunately he is fine, stabilized and home with us. DNA is around the corner, and we don't expect he'll be with us for long. (The story is long, long, long).

We are crushed beyond description. Every moment with him at this point is a gift from God. We need your prayers. We are looking for a Christmas miracle.

I know we are in good company and others reading this know too well of our fear and pain. We welcome your prayers, support & advice.

[stillwaiting]

SadeAnn,
I am so sorry you have to endure this pain. I know how you feel. We are in the same situation. Just do all you can and stay on your knees in prayer. You and your son will be in my prayers as well as the bmom and bfather. Once again, I am so sorry this has happened. Nothing can compare or prepare you for what you are going through. Just know there are several others on this board that have been just where you are and they can offer great support.

(((Huggs!))))

Tina

[Overwhelmed!]

SadieAnn,

I'm so sorry to hear of your difficult situation and I will indeed pray for you and your family.

Please forgive my ignorant questions (this is all new to me) but how do these situations happen? The way our lawyer explained it to us is that the birth father's rights can be terminated BEFORE the baby's birth, that it's only the birth mother that has to wait until after the baby is born. Is that only true in certain states?

I'm sorry to ask such painful questions, but we're nearing the birth of the baby we hope to adopt and I'm just trying to understand what we're potentially up against. Any info that anyone can share would be appreciated.

You're in my prayers SadieAnn!

[michelec]

We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers..

[tobeafamily]

SadieAnn,

Sending peaceful energy your way and hoping for a quick resolution. It's so hard when no matter what you do, there is pain.

Overwhelmed - yes, it depends on the state whether a pbfather can voluntarily terminate his rights before birth, and even then it is not mandatory that he do so.

Regina

[sadiegirl]

The way our lawyer explained it to us is that the birth father's rights can be terminated BEFORE the baby's birth, that it's only the birth mother that has to wait until after the baby is born. Is that only true in certain states?

Overwhelmed,
From my understanding, bfather's rights can only be terminated before birth in a HANDFUL of states! I believe in most states, not only is it AFTER birth, but sometimes a full 60-90 days after.

Sadieann,
We were just asking about you and wondering how you were! We will all pray that your son is "fully" home and that he is healthy! You will be in our prayers!

[billysmommy]

I am truly sorry for what your family is going through, and I am in a similar battle myself. But I have to ask: Why in the world was this baby placed with you if the birthfather expressed his desire to parent on the day the baby was born? I can't believe that an agency/attorney would allow this to happen......everyone would be spared if it were handled appropriately.

[mommy2savanna]

SadieAnn, ((HUGS))!!!!!!

I am so sorry that this has happen to you, please know that I'll be praying for everyone involved, espeically the baby. Please keep us posted.

Ruth

Mom to Princess Savanna thru adoption 07/27/00
Waiting for #2 since 08/06/03
One failed match
Currently match again - it's a BOY due 01/07/05

[tomandcate]

Oh SadieAnn, I am so sorry you're having to go through this. I will be thinking of you all and praying for your strength and courage, and what's best for your precious baby.

Cate

[icunurse]

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I will be saying a prayer for all of you.

Overwhelmed- in the state where I live, a birthfather can sign over his rights prior to the birth, but the paperwork isn't legal until 72 hours after birth.

[Overwhelmed!]

icunurse- So, what you're saying is that even if the birth father is allowed to sign the termination paperwork BEFORE the baby is born, it's still not legal until after the 72 hour waiting period, meaning he can change his mind AFTER the baby is born? This is all so confusing! We have a 72 hour waiting period here as well. I guess we just have to trust that God knows what's best, either way. It's so hard!

SadieAnn, your and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers!

[BrandyHagz]

Overwhelmed, you can look here for laws for each state.

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/adop...optionLaws.pdf

Like billysmom, I have to ask why, if he was refusing consent at the hospital, the baby was even sent home with you...

Such an unfortunate situation...

[AMom2Two]

SadieAnn....

I'm so sorry to hear the pain you are in. ((((SadieAnn))))

I too, have to wonder why the agency sent they baby home with you when the bfather changed his mind at the hospital? We had a similiar situation for our first failed placement and the agency withdrew upon finding out the bfather wanted custody.

You will be in my prayers!!!!

[Overwhelmed!]

Brandy- thanks for the link on adoption laws by state. That's very helpful!

[MMC66]

I've been watching the threads to see how you were doing (thinking about you too) This really stinks - I wish there was something to make this easier. Hang in there - He is lucky for every moment he gets to spend with you.

Prayers and good thoughts for everyone involved in this difficult situaion,

Martha