[tatiedawn1013]

My husband and I are getting ready to start the adoption process after trying to concieve for nearly 3 years now. We decided to adopt after spending thousands of dollars in infertility specialists. I know that adopting a child will be the most important decision my husband and I can make. I was wondering if anyone had any advice to give to us as we prepare for the adoption process? We are both in our early twenties and have been married for over 3 years. Our families are both very supportive of our decision, but it would be nice to get some advice from people who are in the same situation we are in.

Thanks,

Kayla

[Happy2Bhere]

Advice:
RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH!
Congrats on beginning your journey. It's exciting, and scarey, I know.
I wish I would have found this forum before I started my journey- it would have saved alot of time, money, & most importantly- heartache!
Just got off work, and I'm tired, but mostly I just wanted to say that you need to really search yourself & find out what your level of comfort is for the openness of your adoption, then stick with it.
Really research agencies before you sign, and if you have any hesitations, ask someone.
Don't just say yes to every situation- only say yes to the ones that feel & sound right. When it is MEANT to happen, it will.
I'll try to write more tomorrow when I'm not half asleep, or feel free to PM me.
Its an exciting journey- especially with this forum to help you along the good & the bad.
Best wishes-
Melissa

[tatiedawn1013]

Have you adopted a child? If so how long did it take? We have gotten information from Adoptions of Indiana to do our homestudy. The cost is about $1800.00 for the homestudy, is that normal? What should I be ready for when they come to our home? We are waitin on information from Kirsh and Kirsh, they will be doing the actual adoption. We don't know how much it's going to cost, but whatever the cost, we will make it work. Thank you for all your advice.

Kayla

[lmrod55]

Kayla - The best advice, like Melissa said, is to research all you can - read lot of books, ask lots of questions. I am not too sure what is "normal" when it comes to the home study fee, but ours was only $750. I think states are different on what they are looking for when they come to your house, but ours was very simple - she just wanted to look around and see where the baby would be living (was it safe, fire extingushers, baby proofed, etc). We gave her a tour of the house, she asked about the neighborhood, and then we sat down and talked for about 30 minutes.

There is a great thread here which gives advice for people going thru the homestudy process - you might want to search for that.

Good luck!!

[lovebeingmom2006]

Welcome to the forum. My DH and I decided to adopt after 6yrs of infertility. The adoption process can be very tedious and frustrating at times, but remember the reward in the end is a beautiful baby. Unfortunately, there are a lot of bad eggs out there trying to make a profit off of people like us, so please remember to do a lot of investigating and reseach on any and everyone before you send them one single dime.

This forum is the best thing that could have happened to hopeful AP. Use it constantly. No matter what the question or problem, someone has gone through it before.

Remember your not alone, Talk to you soon.

[tobeafamily]

First, go to the library and read everything you can on adoption - international, domestic parental placement, waiting child/foster care are all options.

There is no one 'best way' to adopt, only a best way for you.

Next, ask yourselves these kinds of questions.

1. How important is it that your child share your ethnic heritage?
2. How important is it that your child be a newborn at time of placement?
3. How willing/able are you to travel with/without advance notice?
4. How much are you ready to spend in fees and expensese?
5. How prepared do you feel parenting a child who may have been exposed to abuse, neglect, institutionalization, known or unknown at time of placement?
6. How comfortable are you sharing your interests, values, lifestyle with others you don't know or don't know well?

HTH, best of luck. BTW $1,800 for a homestudy is reasonable.

Regina

[skiffv]

Hi, my husband I are in pretty much the same boat we are both 25 and married 3 yrs. I agree with everyone that research is very important it helped us make our decsion to adopt internationally. It will also help you to answer some of the million questions you probably have, I know I had tons of questions. Good luck and pm me if you have any questions.