[traceyk]

Our whole family iis vegan and we are worried that might be a turn off or red flag for a SW or **. Has anyone had experiences with this? Will it make it hard to match?

Thanks!

[cakegirl]

My family is vegetarian, and I am hoping to adopt. It never occured to me that this would be either a positive or a negative. It's just food, right?

[Volfe]

um i think there are two adoptive and/ or foster parents on the boards who are vegetarian (one shared recipes. mmm) and haven't posted yet.

I can't see it being a problem... it's good, healthy food

Maia

[traceyk]

I am just concerned that a **/BF or SW may not understand how healthy a Vegan/Vegetarian diet is and think that we might be doing harm. I suppose I could get a letter from my pediatrician if it comes up. She is very supportive of us.

[michelec]

I am a vegetarian (mostly vegan really) and have adopted 2 babies. My husband is not, but since I do most of the cooking he is for all practical purposes vegan as well.

We did not mention this in our profile that was handed out to birthmoms, but I know we discussed it with our social worker. I think the extent of it was that we would consult with our pediatrician when the time came to introduce solid foods. She wasn't concerned a tall, but You could get a book or two on raising healthy vegan children and cooking for them and show your SW that you are on the ball!!

I don't even think I talk about it in the letters I write to their birthmoms (well one is not on solid foods yet). When our oldest was just starting to eat solids I just said what she did eat (i.e. carrots, squash, green beans, etc). I think I did mention that I was making the baby food at home, but it only warranted one sentence in the letter I wrote. By the time she was old enough to eat things like veggie burgers, soy based mac n cheese, ect (at about a year) food was not a big part of the letters anyway. it was more about what she could do physically, and what she liked to play, and what she could say.

I will now say (in the letters) her favorite food is mac n cheese, or green beans, but I don't make a point of saying "soy based mac n cheese". I just don't even think about it being different than what others would eat.

I don't think is an issue at all, and wish you the best of luck!!

Take care, Michele

[LisaCA]

hi guys,

I'm a veggie (lacto-ovo) and I did mention it in my profile. Dh isn't and I joked about that. Anyway, it turns out that no one (no sw or bmom's agency) ever asked me about it.When we spoke to our bmom in july after dd's birth, it turns out that my vegetarianism was one of the major reasons bmom picked me. As it happens, most of bfamily is vegetarian! We all went out for veggie food in chicago before we left town. I was blown away, but in chicago there is a vegetarian soul food restaurant, something I thought could never exist:-). my dad did all the cooking growing up and as a black man from North Carolina, well, lets just say he never saw a part of an animal that wasn't tasty.

No one asked if I planned to raise dd as a vegetarian, and I have to say I'm not sure. I think I'll hold off introducing meat until she asks to try it. Since dad has some sort of dead animal on his plate a couple of times a week, she may be intrigued. She will get my feelings on the matter, so maybe she won't be so attracted to it.

at nearly 5 months old, the only sign of her dietary preferences is the fact that she keeps putting Oinky, Perrier, and Fatback (her stuffed pigs-we couldn't resist with the names) in her mouth and gumming them to death.

I wouldn't worry. I think vegetarianism sends a signal to bmoms that we think about the larger world and their offspring will have a better diet than most.

LisaCA

[traceyk]

Thanks for all the help. I guess I just won't put that in the Bmother letter as it has no bearing on our capabilities of parenting.

[Volfe]

I want you to consider your statement here:

I am just concerned that a **/BF or SW may not understand how healthy a Vegan/Vegetarian diet is and think that we might be doing harm...

and then: your quote here: "I guess I just won't put that in the Bmother letter as it has no bearing on our capabilities of parenting."

~~~

In My Opinion: I don't find it fair to omit something you think might offend a potential birth parent. Would you want a potential care giver for your children to omit something you aren't in agreement with... just so they make a better impression?

I would work in the fact that you have a vegetarian lifestyle like Lisa did. It doesn't necessarily work against you.

On the flip side, would you want to be misled by omission of fact, that a caregive would honor your vegan diet choices, but instead ONLY serve meat meals?

~~~

I, as a birth mother, would certainly have taken a second look at a family who was vegetarian and/ or lived green. These are issues that are important to me, although I actually practice neither up to par.

[traceyk]

How true. This is who we are and we are very proud of it.

As for the caregiver, I would know in a heartbeat as soon as the kids were taken to the hospital, because of the meat suddenly being in their system they would be ill. I am sure some of you other vegans know what it's like when you thought there was no dairy in something and then as soon as it hits the stomache you are off to the potty

[LisaCA]

hi,

An additional 2 cents:-). I kinda agree with Volfe here. if it's important to you then it might be important to bmoms. And in my case it was clearly important to bmom. We let our guts be our guide, just writing about those things that are important to us-we felt and still do (since we will probably go for number 2) that we will let the chips fall where they may. I talked briefly about how important it was to respect other life forms (as witnessed by our cats, rabbits and hamsters). the advice we were given when writing the profile: you never know what will appeal to the bfamily, so don't write a profile anticipating what they may or may not like, but write it to share what's important to you. it took less than 5 weeks from homestudy completion to placement, so it's clear the vegetarianism worked for us. so I would urge you to write about it since it clearly means a lot to you, but to do it as a choice you felt good about making.

LisaCA

[Volfe]

Originally posted by traceyk
How true. This is who we are and we are very proud of it.

This is the person (family) potential birth moms want to know!



As to the caregiver... well... when you don't eat meat, meat tastes dead so fairly certain the kids would be disgusted. Don't know about the dairy/ eggs since I've never omitted those from the diet.

Take care!

Maia

[michelec]

After reading some of the responses I wanted to add that I never purposefully omitted the fact that I was a vegetarian in our birthmom letter or otherwise. I guess that after not eating meat for nearly 18 years (january 17th is my veggie "anniversary". Anyone else celebrate theirs?) its just second nature and I don't give it a lot of thought.

I do think that birthmothers would get a sense of what the family is about to know that they don't eat meat, recycle, volunteer or whatever it is that the family does to make the world a better place.

take care,

michele

[JewelMarie]

Michelec: I can understand getting used to something like that and not mentioning it. I have several food allergies, beef, pork, broccolli, dyes, milk etc. There are a number of foods that I can't eat, but the only two foods that I will not have in my home are pork or broccolli. The rest I know not to ingest it, but when broccolli comes in contact with anything and I eat whatever it came in contact with, I react. My lifestyle of food is changing as I am starting to eat healthier, more veggies and fruits, etc.

I did mentioned in my home study my food allergies and I was surprised that it was not a concern, yet happy. Due to some of the allergies, I have to be straight forwards. I am sure that my child will not suffer from not eating broccolli or pork, etc. I actually can eat cheese in small amounts but can't drink fresh milk, so I use a drink call, "Rice Dream."