[Luv]

Hello all,


First off thanks for all of the warm welcomes and the translations
regarding the dh, dd etc I thought so but wasnt sure

I hope this subject isnt too touchy but I just wanted your opinions especially since some of you have already adopted and may have encountered this situation.
Would you or have you changed the name first or middle of your adopted child if so what age is it too late to change or do you think changing their name period is inappropriate and maybe even disrespectful to the bmom?


Luv

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Luv,

We are adopting our 2 fc. Our fd is now 3 and we are keeping her name the way it is (except the last name, of course). Our fs in now 2 and we are changing his middle and last names. I think 2 is too old to change a first name, although I know many people have done it a lot older, it's just my opinion. Anyway, I have a brother-in-law that died and his name was the same as our fs so in a way we are keeping it to honor his memory (although there are many more boy names we like better).

Michelle

[mumofone]

We adopted our son as an infant.
We did change his first and middle name as soon as we brought him home.

We do regret not keeping one of his names and using it as a middle name though. It is part of who he is/was to his birthparents.

[LisaCA]

hi,

our birthmom is young and was reluctant to name dd, but I encouraged them to select a name that they felt was special for her, without any input from me. I told them that I would take that name as a middle name for dd, or if it was too long a name, take part of it. We did keep it as her middle name, and will/do use her full name (including both middle names) when we can. If dd was older than a couple of months we would have kept her name as her first name, since they start to be aware of sounds and respond to their name quite early. We hope to explain to dd the entire process, how each family picked out a special name for her, and how fortunate she is to have these names selected by everyone who loves her. I suspect that somewhere around late elem/jr high she will start to hate her first name (standard teen fare) and will shift to using her middle names which is fine with us:-). They always swing back to their first name in high school-I know I did:-).

LisaCA

[MommaD]

We adopted our son at 3. We kept his first name the same, but changed his middle name because he was named after the man who tried to kill him.......didn't think it was a good idea to leave it We gave him a family name as his middle name, so now he has a special name from both his birth family and his forever family. I personally don't see any harm in changing middle names, unless they are used along with their first name on a regular basis.

MommaD

[lovemy6]

I've changed one child's name completely, at age 5, changed the middle name only of one child, and left all three names of two of my children and just added our last name to theirs. I have a friend who changed all three names of her two teens. It was their decision as much as hers.

[Happy2Bhere]

HI!
Our daughter was 7 1/2 weeks old when we became a family. I definetly did not like her name (Felicity- sounded like a cat to me)
We changed her name right away, the first night she came home.
She was pretty young, so we didn't really worry about it messing her up, besides, her birthmom always called her PRINCESS, and we did, too, so that was the joke, that she'd grow up thinking she was a princess. :-)
I used to own a daycare. One of the moms of a 4 year old came in one day & said she legally changed his name, and to start calling him by the new name. I thought that was a little weird, but I guess it does happen.
I've heard of older children- like 10-13 who get adopted that help participate in the name change. My 13 year old neice always begs her mom to legally change her name. As I recall, I always wanted to change mine as a kid, too.
Go figure :-)
Melissa

[spaypets]

We adopted our dd at 18 months from India. Her Indian name was, well, not familiar to an American ear. We changed it and thought we'd have to transition using both names, but she adapted instantly (it's possible the caregivers at the orphanage had started using her new name because we had written and told them what it was).

[DebCsMom]

We adopted all 3 of our children at birth. All but one child we were able to choose a name with the BMom's. Our 1st adopted daughter is Cylie (Kylie) Elizabeth. Elizabeth is in honor of her BMom whose middle name is Elizabeth, who is BMom's Grandma's first name.

Our 2nd adopted daughter we matched too quickly & hadn't decided on a name. When BMom was to leave the hospital they told her she had to name the baby. She told them she didn't know what we wanted. LOL She named her Emani Marie. By then we had 4 children whose names all began with a "C". We had Cirrah (Kira) or Camryn picked out. BMom like Cirrah & we kept Emani as her middle name. But we actually call her Cirramani...a combo of both names.

With our son we had chosen Caleb. When I called his BMom the next day we discussed names. I asked her what she liked. She said to me," You know what name I have always wanted...Caleb" I about died! LOL It was decided HANDS DOWN that he would be Caleb. His full name is Caleb Noah Nicholas. Nicholas honors his BMom, Nicole.

So we didn't change any of the names except for Cirrah's. But from 1 1/2 days old she has been called Cirrah Emani.

I think that once a child is about 18 months or so it would okay to change the name or part of it. In a gradual process. BUT I do believe it is important to keep some part of the name. As a middle name, second middle name, etc. And to use it!

Deb

[momofmykids]

Our two oldest children were 4 when we got them, so we only changed their middle names (they picked them). The rest were all babies and we changed their names.

[Luv]

Hey all,


Wow! Thanks for all the great feedback on changing names, dh and I wanted a certain name for our child every since we were dating! Then we found out we couldnt have our own and we set on that for about 2 years and then decided to adopt. We still want our child to have this certain name though We want a child between the ages of 1 & 3 but we didnt want to take away from who he is so I was feeling guilty about changing his name. I feel better now and I think I have a way to satisfy his past and future (from all of your feedback) buy just adding onto his name or changing just the middle name. The child we are hoping to be matched with is 16 months old and he has been in foster care since the day he was born due to domestic violence. So anyway we know his first name and last initial only (we will definetly change last name if nothing else). The problem is we are not sure what exactly is going on our sw & his cant seem to connect and I know there was one other family who's homestudy was being reviewed so Im not getting my hopes up too high for now.

Thanks again

Luv

[JewelMarie]

Luv: I do plan to change my child's middle name with their consent and of course the last name. I will say a prayer for the best interest of the child be known and communicated. Keep hope alive, it is what gives us the fuel to see our days through while waiting.

Jewel