[HeathersName]

Does anyone think birthmoms have the right to request the couple that adopts their baby come the day their released or do you all think adoptive couples have right to be at the hospital or in the delievery room? Or do you all think it should be left up to the birthparents?

[katieb31323]

Definately up to the birthmother, with all parties agreeing to "the Plan" whatever it might be! A good "match" is when everyone is seeing eye to eye...with some degree of compromise as with all human relationships.

Kathy

[Jensboys]

I think it is totally up to the mother of the baby -- because she isnt a "birthmother" until those papers are signed and her time to revoke consent has passed. So if she wants to take the baby home for a day, a week or whatever, that is also her right and perogative.

Also, because the decision to place or parent needs to be re-made once the child is born, the expectant mother should be fully in control of the expectations, and have the right to change her mind on what she wants regarding access to the adoptive parents during the entire hospital stay. For example, she may have thought before the baby was born that she wasnt going to want to have the baby in the room with her, but then change her mind. Or she may have thought she didnt want to breastfeed and then change her mind, or she may have thought she wanted the adoptive parents to do all the "parenting" of the baby in the hospital, but then realize she needs alone time. Etc etc etc

If she chooses adoption, the hospital stay (and any subsequent time at home with the baby) are so very, very important to her - and really her chance to mother the baby before she passes on that responsibility.

[HeathersName]

alot of people are giving me opinions on this subject. I just wanted to see other peoples views. I pretty much know what I want at the hospital. I know that I want time in the hospital with just with my family and the baby and with the bio dads family and with the bio dad. I want the couple to come to the hospital the day that I am released.

I think that the hospital time is the bio families time and I just dont want to offend anyone by saying it or telling this to the couple that I will pick.

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Heather,

Don't worry about offending anyone! It is your right to choose whatever makes you more comfortable. You deserve that time.

Michelle

[HeathersName]

sometimes I worry about offending people because adoptions are an emotional time and sometimes people with different opinions may get offended.

[Jensboys]

And in that vein of offending... if you arent "Julie" I will eat my shirt!!!

[HeathersName]

Life is to short to offend people and to get mad over other peoples opinions.

[Leigh131313]

Jensboys...

Well, for your sake i hope you are right......nothing makes me gag more than fabric....
Leigh

[mommytobug]

I finally detected a troll in the beginning.............wow......I am proud!!

[Jensboys]

Its sort of the longer we are here ... the easier it becomes. NOW ... if she could just learn proper punctuation it be alot harder to catch her . As it stands I find it fairly easy ... she is here so much

[michellemartin]

punctuation! I didnt notice that. I thought it, too, because of the almost bmom asking on the ap thread something that maybe bmoms should help her with. (of course if she were a real person)

[sadiegirl]

Man, how can you guys detect these trolls? I don't see it but I am fairly new to the forum...

Someone PM me and tell me how you do it (so the secret isn't out!) LOL

[yanknrebel]

OK, Y'all have me. I am a foster to adopt mom and we will be adopting our baby girl (33 months foster daughter that we have since birth) hopefully on CHristmas Eve. I have just cruised over to this board to see what was going on. Can anyone tell me what a "troll" is?

[yanknrebel]

Also , why is a person listed as "banned"? If someone needs to or would like to private message me to explain, please feel free to do so.