[lisa in venice]

I think the route you take really depends on the kinds of children you can consider and the kind of placemnt you want. In our case becasue we were open to many factors, only seeking a fully open placement and specifically looking for minority children, we went the profile route. We didn't go with an agency because wehad done that twice and didn't feel we needed the same education and support and agency provides. We were looking for children that many people turn down so we thought that we could use other people's advertsing to our advantage.

We created aprofile and a web site and networked thru attorneys, agencies and other adoptive parents to find situations thatwould work for us. We than used agencies as back up for the expectanet parents so we knew they had all of the resources that they needed to make a good decision. In several casess getting the agency involved meant that they gained the resources they needed to parents but that was ok becasue I was looking for a lifetime relationship and I knew that the "Riight" one was out there. Both times we went independent we were matched in a matter of weeks but I have to say that I put alot of hours into it. It is not about finding "a baby, any baby" it is about networking inorder to find many many many situations and thereby finding the right one. In our last search I proabably followed up on fifty leads which turned into one adoption.

I have NEVER used an agency that charged a large fee upfront and really don't advise anyonme to do that. Most reputable agencies only charge for the homestudy and a small registration fee. I would be very leary of a large lump sum upfront.

lisa

[DebCsMom]

We've adopted 3 times in 4 years. We had an agency do an Independent Homestudy. The Referral Service & the Attorney we used both had either NO or minimal Upfront fees.

We used a Referral service the first time. We made a profile. In that profile we told who we were, what are family was like, where we live, hobbies, etc. & had TONS of pictures. Our Profiles was 10 pages long. Mainly pictures with describtions of them. We were one of the blessed ones & were matched before our Homestudy was done & our daughter was born a few weks later.

Our 2nd adoption we used the same Referral Service & an Adoption Attorney. Updated our Profile. We were AGAIN matched very quickly, a couple of weeks & our daughter was born a couple days later.

Third adoption, used same 2 resources. Updated profile again, MORE pix to add. Told the Referral Service & the Attorney to WAIT this time until a certain time frame! LOL Had a big vacation planned & we were worried that with our history we'd match fast again & miss our trip! LOL While on vacation 2 weeks later the Referral Service called about a possible match. Two weeks later we were chosen & 2 weeks later our son was born.

I'm not real sure why we matched so quickly. Maybe because we were open to Race & the sex. Maybe because we had AA family & friends. Maybe because we wanted Open Adoption with visits. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. Like one other posted, you never know how you are chosen or how long it will take. Our 2nd adopted daughter's BMom, (we have 2 bio children so she is actually our 3rd daughter ) she told us that she knew we were the right family for her baby from the very first picture she saw of us. It was a picture on the COVER of our profile. It was a family photo but in it I was holding our first adopted daughter. She said it was the WAY I held her that showed her she was my daughter in all ways & that I loved her with all my heart. From that second on she KNEW she wanted us.

When your child is ready, you will have her/him. But helping along with the process in all ways that you can will only help that to happen. Use all the resources you can & are able to. That's the way I believe. I never liked the idea of waiting for just ONE agency to hold our dreams in their hands.

GOOD LUCK!!

Deb

[Opting4Adopting]

While still in the Home Study phase, we created "Baby Business Cards" and a website that showed our profile.
We were just at the point then we were going to decide on an agency(ies) to sign with when a coworker called me about an expectant couple that his sister-in-law know of that are due SOON!

After finding out what little I could about the couple and baby, I spoke with them on the phone and they said that they were impressed by what they "heard" about us and wanted to meet. We met the following week and really seemed to hit it off, though they are half our ages.

Our soon-son will be born in the next couple of weeks and I'm truly believing in the "your child will find you" philosophy.

Unfortunately, the state where our son will be born mandates that an agency be used, otherwise, we would have all been happy to just work through an attorney.

Don't worry about comments or inuendos about being desparate...I don't think anyone first comes to adoption without SOME amount of desparation! On both sides...we're all human after all...

Good Luck and just try to keep your eye on the end result and not necessarily on the rollercoast journey!

Kat