[themissus]

Let me first say I'm sorry for venting and thanks for listening.

Background: dh is adopted, and when we found out that I wouldn't be able to have children, adoption was an "easy" choice. We considered surrogacy very briefly, then decided that it just wasn't for us. The first thing my SIL said when she found out I had cancer and had to have a hysterectomy was "Well at least you won't have to deal with periods anymore." Idiot (sorry, I'm just angry). After the surgery, we were talking, and she confided that she was having trouble conceiving. I truly felt for her, told her to stay positive and that I would pray for her. I also said that if things didn't work out, that she could always have children through adoption. (Now maybe I'm the idiot.) She then tells ME "Well, Chris (husband) and I always felt like if you weren't able to have children naturally, that meant that God didn't want you to have children." Thank God I'm not violent. Never mind that her brothers are adopted! I said "Well what about dh and Jack (dh brother)?" She said "Well, we think that mom and dad just got lucky with them." I let it go, God knows you can't fix stupid. For a year and a half (length of time we were waiting to do hs and actually doing hs), she NEVER asked us how the adoption proceedings were going. Then when my other SIL got pregnant with her fourth, this SIL was actually ANGRY!!!!!!!! Angry that God blessed our family with another baby!

Fast foreward to yesterday: Dh tells me that SIL and her hubby are going to have in vitro performed (is that the right way to put it?). This lady, who told me that she would feel like she was "robbed" if she had twins (because she wouldn't really be able to "enjoy" each child individually) is going to have a procedure where twins are a definite possibility??????!!!!!!!!!!! I just wanted to scream. I know that it seems snide, but I just want to throw her words in her face. I have prayed for this woman, and I know it isn't Christian. I feel like reminding her of all that she has said to me. I don't know if I will, but I am so mad. She has been nothing but selfish and hateful, and I feel like giving her a taste of it. Help!

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

you'll be the bigger person and be supportive of her and her dh in their attempt to conceive! I don't even know you and somehow I sense this about you. She sounds like a hateful person and, quite frankly, I'd deal with her only when I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO... I wouldn't want her negativity in my life. I'd be civil to her when in her company but I certainly wouldn't seek out her company.

Good luck to you and your dh in your adoption. I hope the process goes smoothly for you and you have your baby in your arms soon.

Michelle

[katieb31323]

Hi

I can emphasize with your UGH! I have a consin with b/g twins through invitro and is having twins again through invitro this time a b/b. She is sad that its twins again and sad that it is both boys. I could knock her on the head too....fortuanately she lives in a different state and I only see her once a year....People really dno't appreciate the gifts they are given!

Kathy

[LisaCA]

you're right-you can't fix stupid. on the one hand, maybe she knows that she's been an idiot and feels kinda bad- though probably not. folks like that breeze thru life spewing idiocy and it never seems to cause them one night's bad sleep.

the worst thing you could do to her is be supportive and smile - my guess is that she's used to being petty and would expect you to be that way. Your smile and support will eat away at her:-). And you know her kids will need support and a sane relative, so remain in their lives.

my condolences for having her in your life. Don't you wish you could pick your relatives wives and husbands? when I met the guy my sis married years ago, I nearly gagged. She came to her senses and divorced him shortly thereafter. She still owes me for the time I had to spend in his presence:-).

you are a better person for being there and standing by them. Don't worry, you can always vent here:-).

take care,

LisaCA

[MamaJem]

Originally posted by katieb31323
....People really dno't appreciate the gifts they are given!

That is so sad but true.... *sigh*


Vent away my friend! These things are frustrating and seem like injustice. Hopefully her ignorance will will be replaced by remorse and maybe even gain some wisdom through her experience. I know that I look back at things I said in the past and I just cringe. I am sure we have all said stupid things. The best way to educate someone is by example.

Blessings on you,

Jem