[poullafouca]

We have been matched, home studied, the baby is due in mid January. We have a nursery that looks pretty gorgeous....

All is well on the adoption front; I guess I mean I take it each day at a time.

I just got back from England; My dad died, I rushed there, he died ten hours after I got there. His funeral was friday.

So here I am shell shocked, in a state of shock, even though he had been ill with a fatal disease for a while.

I feel so sad that our forthcoming baby will not have the joy of the beautiful grandparent that my father would have made.

Looking to connect back with the joy of it all. Anyone got any ideas....


Poulla

[Linny]

Let me first say that I'm sorry for the loss of your father. (My mom died one year ago this month.)

But......I can also say that many of our parents are the types who say that 'life must go on'. I know my mom was that way. While coming back home from her 'service' (we had to drive quite a distance to where she and my father were living.)...we got a call from our attorney about a seemingly great situation available within a few weeks. While this took us completely by surprise; I have to tell you that it was nice to have something else to think about at that time. The situation never panned out....but for awhile....it was nice. However, less than one month later from the time my mom died; we learned of our lovely daughter that we have now. She came to us a couple of months later.

I, too......thought and continue to think about how my mom did not know our youngest baby. While we were not extremely close....in some ways, we were. I miss this. But.....I know that she knew we were very dedicated to having more babies. I know that she thought we were doing a decent job of parenting...and she was crazy about the children we already had.

Consider that your dad knew what was in your heart at the time of his passing. Treasure the memories and material items you have of/from him. Consider that you will pass some of these material things...and all of the memories to your new one. These (memories) are the things that last. These are the things that keep the thoughts and lives of our loved ones 'alive'.
You will have these things to share with your new baby.

I hope this helps.

Most Sincerely,

Linny

[poullafouca]

Thanks Linny, even though I am in mourning, I could never ever forget what my father gave me. He and my mother were divorced and bath remarried over thirty years ago. My mother died nearly two years ago, we weren't close. My dad was the ultimate wonderful father, he inspired my husband a lot when he met him, Daddy really understood joy and was a very present person; smelled the roses, saw children smile, he was always like that.
All that is in me, so thanks for the reminder, because what he gave me lives, and is a beautiful gift to pass along to my child.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.

Poulla

[mj77]

I too am so sorry for your loss. I time will help heal some of the loss. Sounds like your father was a special man. You know, I never knew my great-grandma but have always felt such an appreciation for her as I have heard stories of her. I am sure you child may feel the same of your father.

[Support2Adopt]

Originally posted by poullafouca
I feel so sad that our forthcoming baby will not have the joy of the beautiful grandparent that my father would have made.

Looking to connect back with the joy of it all. Anyone got any ideas....


Poulla

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents before my children came into my life.
I guess alot has to do with one's religious or spiritual's beliefs.
Do you feel his presense by any chance?
JJ

[Just Julie]

I too am sorry for your loss. My father died when I was in high school. Mom remarried just before my 3rd son was born and both she and her husband, my stepdad, died about 10 years ago. My adopted son who came to us at 17 four years ago never met any of my parents but referred to my dad as Grandpa, something my bio sons have never done. It really touched me that he wanted that link. You can make your child feel that link too. God bless.

[poullafouca]

Just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to you guys, your thoughts really have helped me, very mush appeciated. Poulla

[BabsCanada]

Just a thought -
When you name your child, give him/her a name that passes down your father's name ; it is a lifelong gift