[lainie_lainie]

My husband and I were asked by his sister to adopt her baby. At first she said she didn't know the father, but she changed her story after much pressure from us. She does know the bio. father and just told him the truth this week. He is understandably upset. They broke up on bad terms because he was stalking her. He does not like her family (her mom and 3 of her brothers) he doesn't know us and we have never met him She told him that she wanted us to adopt the baby. He is very against anyone in her family getting their hands on his child. We understand that he has rights, but we sympathize with her because she doesn't want to be in his life anymore. She wants us to take her place and keep her baby and we would share custody with the bio. father so she doens't have to see him or deal with him very often. Can something like this be done? Would it be a guardianship or conservatorship? Could he fight this and get full custody? Does he have a say if she wants us to help her by doing this? She wants to see the baby grow up, but he would also get to see him too. Our first choice would be to adopt the baby, but we don't think the bio. father is going to agree to that.

[BrandyHagz]

Well with a guardianship, it can be terminated at any time by either parent…for no reason. They can just show up at your door and say, “I want Bob now, thanks for taking care of him for the last six years” and walk away.

The other scenario you gave would be pretty impossible. Once the birthmom terminates her rights, then custody is automatically given to the other parent with intact rights, provided he wants to exercise them.

If the expectant mom honestly doesn’t wish to parent, then you need to find out about the dad…what does he want?

Additionally, it would be best if you could contact an adoption professional in your area who can sit down and talk about the legalities of both of the scenarios you listed, in addition to adoption.

If I were in your shoes, I would ask that the expectant mom and dad sit down and meet with you, your husband and attorney so all of you talk about what you want from this. Ultimately, the decision lies with the parents, although you can certainly voice your concerns.

Guardianship is a great idea if everyone is committed to doing what’s best for the child…find out about the legalities in your state first before you move forward with anything.