[linda104]

My husband is 53 and I'm 52. We have 4 grown children the youngest being 19. We are considering adoption and wonder if anyone can give us information on what would be the best way to go. Domestic special needs, foster care, international, domestic. Would appreciate any thoughts and suggestions. We adopted our 19 year old daughter from Korea when she was 5 months old. Thanks

[Linny]

Hey Linda!
Come to the 'Over 40 adoption board' to read how a LOT of folks are adopting 'over 40 and beyond'!!!! There are a LOT of us.
Personally, I would not recommend the foster to adopt system. We have done this, as well as adopt internationally (as you have), and most recently, privately through a US agency. We prefer the private route, ourselves....and would not go back to older child adoption (even adoption of toddlers within the system) again.
However, if you will post in the other board, you will find a lot of info from people who have adopted in many ways!
Hope to see you there!

Sincerely,

Linny

[Support2Adopt]

Hello Linda!
What is in your heart? Would you rather adopt a newborn or an older child? I would go for what you really want.
JJ

[kimyas]

Can I ask why you would not recommend the foster adopt system? I am in that now and I am just curious. I have not gotten a child to foster yet though much less adopt so I am just curious on your views. Thanks.
Kim

[3SistersMom]

Where are you located? Seems like you have been waiting a long time. Have you checked with your case worker to see if they have you in their system as FOSTER/ADOPT rather than straight adopt?

Originally Posted by kimyas

I have not gotten a child to foster yet though much less adopt

[3SistersMom]

Why? Can you tell us why you feel that way? I'm going through the foster/adopt process and am always looking for information from people who have actually done it. Thanks.

Originally Posted by Linny

Personally, I would not recommend the foster to adopt system.

[kimyas]

Originally Posted by 3SistersMom

Where are you located? Seems like you have been waiting a long time. Have you checked with your case worker to see if they have you in their system as FOSTER/ADOPT rather than straight adopt?

I am from Ocean County Nj and I have talked to my caseworker and my facilitor and even the lady that trained me. There are no children at this time that need to be placed that fit my profile. Apparently alot of people in my county have the same problem. There are just no kids to be placed near me but I was wondering what was wrong with the foster adopt system. I am in there system as foser only and foster to adopt. But still nothing.

[saj]

Welcome Linda.

My husband and I adopted twice in our mid 50's. We adopted from foster care. Our girl came to us at 8 weeks and our boy at 13 months. They are now 9 and 10 years old. We had a very positive experience and got our first placement shortly after we became licensed. We adopted our first two placements. We were lucky though. When I read some of the problems others have faced both with the system and the needs of the children I get on my hands and knees and thank the lord. As far as our ages go and raising our kids, I think we are better parents now than when we were younger. We also have 3 adult children.

Good luck in your new adventure

[mommy3]

I emailed you. BTW, your pm inbox is full -- susan

[Prettyboicris]

I think when it comes to adopting from Foster care it depends on the age of the child that you want as well as the demographics of the children being adopted in yoru area. For instance in certain parts of GA they have a high rate of infant/ toddler adoptions because there is a high need. Also if you have specific restrictions such as age, sex, special needs and etc that can increase or decrease you wait time. The more you are open to the faster you will adopt. I know people who my wife and I were in MAPP classes with who already have been matched with a child and one should be finalizing the adoption in January. He was open to teen boys which are often harder to place here. He got matched before his home study was officially completed.
I think if you go into Foster/Adopt with realistic expectations and being prepare it can work out really well in the long run.