[Amy Melendez]

My husband and I were in an open adoption for the past 6 months. The baby was born in Columbus, Ohio and after 72 hours the birthmother relinquished her rights and we were given the baby. After 10 days of caring for the baby, the birthfather is threatening to file with the "Punitive Father Registry" to stop the adoption. He claims that he mailed the paperwork today and we have confirmed that the papers were mailed to him. He lives in Indiana, does not have a car, smokes pot like cigarrettes, but claims that he wants to raise his baby. Our adoption agency advised us to give the birthmother back her rights (which we did) and return the baby. We did, but the birthmother wants us to adopt the child. The attorney we called said that in Ohio, the birthfather has rights and will win in court no matter what type of lifestyle he lives. If he files the papers with the registry, is it possible to still adopt the baby? Please help?
Thanks, Amy

[billysmommy]

I would check into your state's laws..........here in Florida the putative father's registry must be signed before the Petition for Adoption is filed . If an attempt is made to register after the Petition has been filed, it is denied.
Why did your attorney advise you to give the rights back to the birthmother? Was it an attorney who specializes in adoption?

[billysmommy]

Amy~
I did a quick check of Ohio laws and here is what I found.........

"ORC 3701.061: A man who has sexual intercourse with a woman is on notice that if a child is born as a result and the man is the putative father, the child may be adopted without his consent pursuant to division (B) of section 3107 of the Revised Code." R.C. 3107(B) required the man to sign the Putative Father Registry within thirty days after the child's birth to get notice of the adoption."


Maybe that helps.............

[Amy Melendez]

Thank you for the info about the Ohio Laws. It is opposite of what the agency and the attorney told us!! They said that if the birthfather signed the "Putataive Father Registry" we had NO chance of adopting her without his consent. I am reading this that we CAN adopt her only if he signs the registry. I am so frustrated. Do you know how old this law is? Is it something new that the agency may not know yet? I will forward it to our agency and the attorney I hire. Thank you sooooo much! Amy

[billysmommy]

Amy,
I'm not sure if you understand........My take is that a birthfather must have registered within 30 days of the birth in order to protect his rights. If he has not signed by then, his rights are terminated on those grounds.
I recently went through this with my daughter's birthfather. His rights were terminated on other grounds as well, but also for not signing the registry before the Petition for Adoption was filed - that is my state's law.
When did your child's birthfather register? And if you don't mind my asking, who has custody of the child now?
I'm sorry for all that you are going through - it's a rough road, and one that I am currently traveling too...........

[sandymomof2]

I think there's a bit of confusion here.

What I was told (by our lawyers) is when a father
puts himself on the putative father registry, he is
"admitting" his potential paternity of a child.
The idea is that a bfather may not be notified
by the bmom that she is expecting, and he has
a right to father that child if the bmom puts the
baby up for adoption (of course, there may be
some extenuating circumstances where he may
not be allowed to father.) Each state has their
own laws regarding how long the father has to
get on the registry - usually some amount of time
after the baby is born like 1 month - 3 months.

If the bmom doesn't name him and puts the
baby up for adoption, the registry is supposed
to be checked to see if there is a bfather and he,
ideally, will be notified by either the adoption agency
or the lawyer letting him know what's going on
and asking if he will terminate his rights, just as if
the mother had named him. If he refuses
to terminate, that's when the legal issues begin...


Others may have more info or be able to explain
this more clearly. We never personally had to
deal with the registry.

[billysmommy]

Sandy,
I think you explained that perfectly!

[Amy Melendez]

That makes sense. Thank you!

Currently the bmother has the baby. She is emailing me and wanting to give us legal guardianship. We came back to North Carolina four days ago. She is having a hard time caring for the baby, and wants us to have her. The bfather is only threatening to register. He knows that he has 30 days. If he does not file within 30 days then he loses his rights. He says that he will try everything to prevent us from adopting the baby. Our bmother was told that if she signs off her rights now, and the we (adoptive couple) take the bfather to court, the bfather ALWAYS wins, and the baby will be taken out of the adoptive couple's home. She is afraid that the bfather would get the baby, so we had the State of Ohio give the bmother back her rights.

[roxanna425]

Depending on what you mean by "having a hard time taking care of the baby" I would stick close to the bithmom to help her in any way that I could regardless of whether in the end I get the baby or not. That's just me.

[stillwaiting]

Amy,

Have you checked into hiring an adoption attorney? We are dealing with the same situation however we are further along in the process than you are.

You are in a VERY high-risk adoption. You could hire an attorney and fight it. I am assuming the biofather did not support the bmother financially, emotional and so on. Did he abandon her? Did he know she was pregnant? Did he offer any support at all?

In our case the biofather did know our bmother was pregnant and he did nothing to help her. He actually acted like he did not even know her when she called to let him know she was pregnant. He abandoned his responsibility. He eventually did sign the PFR but it was after we had our hearing with the judge. The judge legally placed our son in our home and we are the legal parents to him. One week later the biofather hired a lawyer and started contesting the adoption.

Needless to say we are fighting this! He knew she was pregnant and did not want to take any action until two moths after our baby was born and placed in our home. We have had our son for four months and pray we will have him forever.

We do realize this is a high-risk adoption because both the bmother and biofather did not sign their rights away. The bmother is a real trooper. She is adamant that our son stay in our home and she has gone to court to testify against the biofather and will continue to help us fight this ongoing battle.

I know how hard this is. It is one of the hardest things you will every go through. I hope I have helped a little. Pmail me if you would like and I can give you more details.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[looking2adopt1]

Quick question along the same lines....what if the state did not have a registry? The biofather knows of the adoption plan and has not supported the biomother in any way. Also, he is not signing but he's not officially contesting either.....what then?

[numbr1dbcksfan]

looking2adopt1-

If he is named and is not signing...then his rights should expire after a certain amount of time. If he is not named (officially) and is not signing--then he is contesting! Until he has notice...his rights are protected. He must be served in order for the time limit to be 'activated'. If he has been served...it is usually 30 days after service that his rights expire. If served in the newspaper it is usually 30 days after the 30th day (the last news listing)...so 60 days.


Amy-

If they sent him the papers for the putative father registry--then I would seriously consider the fact that he will list himself.

He lives in Indiana,

Not a factor.

does not have a car,

Not a factor.

smokes pot like cigarrettes,

Heresay.

but claims that he wants to raise his baby.

maybe he does!

I dont mean to be harsh...but I hope that puts it all in perspective.

If he doesn't sign within the time frame... hopefully things will run smoothly for you. Otherwise--Good luck to the mother! She probably cannot sign guardianship over to you without his signature either.

Note: If the mother relinquished her rights before the father....she may have already lost them. (Unless the agency tore up the paperwork or something.....)

If he files the papers with the registry, is it possible to still adopt the baby?

Only if he consents or has his rights terminated for some reason.

[looking2adopt1]

Yes, the biofather was named and he is aware of the adoption plan. The lawyer sent him a letter on the behalf of the biomother stating what her intentions were and asking for a response of some kind from the biofather. He has not responded at all. He chooses to do nothing, not contest it legally or willing to sign his rights for termination. We believe he's just letting his time ride out. We're just waiting for that time to run out I guess.

[mimc]

Looking2adopt1, I was reading your posts, and it occured to me that perhaps the b-father is letting his time run out because he doesn't want to sign the papers. That maybe he's not contesting because he knows he can't raise the baby but won't sign because he doesn't want to go through the actual act of "giving up" his child. Either because he feels like it would make him somehow less of a man or because he's trying to string the b-mom along.

Of course, either way, I know it must be a horrible wait for you. I pray everything works out for you.

[AMom2Two]

Originally posted by mimc
maybe he's not contesting because he knows he can't raise the baby but won't sign because he doesn't want to go through the actual act of "giving up" his child. Either because he feels like it would make him somehow less of a man or because he's trying to string the b-mom along.

That was my feeling too. I'm sorry you're going thru this
Hugs,