[michellemartin]

How would you feel if your childs bmom requested a copy of the birth certificate from after the adoption with your names on it? Just so you know, there is nothing about them on the birth certificate that I dont already know about them. Except the state they were born in, but I'm pretty sure they're both Wisconsinites. Then hoping here to not sound insane, but is the adoption decree public record? Is a birth certificate public record? Can I get it without having to ask them for it? I would like a copy of that also, but not sure I should ask for both for fear of sounding insane. We are much more open than most, but I fear that may be overstepping my boundaries. I have offered them a copy of the origional birth certificate for safekeeping, since there will be no way to get it later, so if its something Kara wants later in life she will have it. But I havent asked them for the other, I really dont want to sound like a wacko!

[StacyM]

Hi Michelle,

I haven't adopted yet, so I can't speak as an amom yet, but as a potential amom I can tell you that if I had an open adoption and the bmom asked for a copy of the birth certificate as a momento I would completely understand. I'm not sure if birth certificates are public record or not.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

[Leigh131313]

hmmm...not sure... let me explain why

First of all..i'm an adoptive mom....I'd have no problem with our sons birthmother wanting a birth certificate...i might actually feel pretty good that she wants one with US on it, kinda symbolic of her feelings dont ya think?
The only thing i would look into.....would it cause any...umm.....i'm not sure how to word this so let me give an example.

If you want to leave a country with a child, you require a birth certificate.......so, is a birth certificate something that a non-guardian should have? I'm in no way suggesting that you would leave the country with the child...far from it...i'm just trying to word my thoughts...I guess i'm asking if possessing a birth certificate could entitle you to access any information that perhaps they may not want you to accesss.

Sorry if that makes no sense...lol
Leigh

[michellemartin]

I didnt think of that! Yeah I can see from that standpoint it wouldnt be a good idea to have an origional certified copy, but do you think a copy of one, and not a certified copy would be OK to ask for without causing any doubt that I would want to do anything like that. Then they wouldnt have to worry or wonder about my intentions. Would I be able to access any info that way? I dont think I could, but I dont want to put them in a situation either where they feel obligated. So if I do ask, since I am as of yet not 100% sure I even will, how would I phrase that?

[Leigh131313]

lol, no idea how you would go about it.....

I'm sure that you wouldnt be using it for that purpose....perhaps check with someone in vital statistics in your state ( i'm in canada, thats what we call it here) and find out if a copy of a birth certificate can be used for anything legally. If they tell you that there is nothing you can use it for....then i'd talk to your childs parents.

Like I said...I think i would feel honored that my sons birthmom would want the document with our names on it. It sounds like you have a lovely open adoption so I'm sure if you explain why you would like one, they will understand.

Hope that helped some.
Leigh

[BrandyHagz]

Shell,

I know in Texas, they have an “Heirloom Birth Certificate” that you can send away for, but you have to be legal relation to request it.

I don’t think that would be the kind of certificate that would be “legal”…I think its just a pretty little thing with names and whatnot.

Find out if your state offers something like that, and if it’s a legal certified copy…if its not, ask them if they would mind ordering one for you, if you pay for it.

Its worth looking into

[sugarbabysmommy]

I think the methodology for getting the new or ammended bc vary within each state. Some privacy laws have changed the process. As for whether or not I would feel comfortable with my child's birthmother having a copy of the ammended bc, that's an interesting question. I would be quiet happy if she asked for a copy, especaily since she had a hard time letting go of the idea of co-parenting.

I would make a color copy for her, but would make one alteration, my maiden name would be blacked out. I have told her my maiden name, but having it on a document along with my child's full name makes me uncomfortable when that document isn't under my control (or under my child's control once an adult). When my child is an adult most financial institutions will ask for my maiden name as an idendifier for my child's accounts and identity. In this day and age of identity theft it makes me take pause. Some might think well, now that's not trusting since I do have a copy of the orginal bc, but my child's birthmother's maiden name won't be used for these purposes.

So I don't think it's far out there to want it. By the way, I only have a certified copy of the original because, unbeknownst to me, my agency makes it their practice to order one for it's adoptive families to keep for their children.

[mj77]

I would wonder why a bmom would want the new certificate if she is not raising the child. Would you mind educating me as to why having this new birth certificate would be important to have? Is it for closure? Maybe if I knew why my son's bmoms wanted it, it would change my mind, but I would feel very awkward with either of them asking for such a document. Sorry, I am just curious.

[Nina24]

I think I would wonder too why my child's bmom would want that document. My DH would not be comfortable with giving her even a copy of the birthcertificate becuase he is very protective! The concerns about identity theft are very legitimate. I think it would be up to our child to share it as an adult, if that is what he/she was comfortable with. I think the decorative certificate is a good idea. But, as we are not yet aparents, this has not come up yet. Makes you think. What do bparents find helpful for closure? I admit that I worry that our future bmom will be left with long-term grief. I want us to be able to help her feel at peace with her decision. Thanks for your thoughts!

Enjoy the beauty of fall today!
Nina

[bromanchik]

Originally posted by Leigh131313

If you want to leave a country with a child, you require a birth certificate.......so, is a birth certificate something that a non-guardian should have?

Leigh

Leigh, while this sounds logical, it is not rational. She already has the OBC. She could just use that. They don't check any kind of database at the border.

[Leigh131313]

lol, sorry bromanchick

I honestly didnt mean that a birthmom WOULD leave the country.....i was just trying to point out that a birthcertificate has purposes. That was the only example i could come up with at the time ( my brain is slow these days, lol)

There are many instances where i use my BC for official reasons...and thats what i was referring to.

Leigh

[michellemartin]

LOL Brenda, I thought of that when I went to bed last night! Yeah, I have the origional without the fathers name.

As for me with the identity theft, I could probably already do that then, because I already know all the information about them that would appear on the birth certificate, if that were my plan.

Um my plans with this particular document...
The two documents will go into the binder that contains all info so far pertaining to our adoption including their profile.

and why I want it...
I want it to be with the other, as in this is who she WAS and this is who she IS. Make sence? Or am I just nuts?

I also wanted the adoption decree to go along with the TPR I have for similar purposes.

[michellemartin]

Oh and yes, THEY will get a copy also from the agency of the origional with MY name and MY info on it... So if they're into identity theft... they even have my SSN for when they were helping to talk to my insurance carrier for me. Gosh those people were nuts when they found out it was an adoption plan!

[skootinalong2]

I asked our SW if I could have a copy of the original birth certificate to save for our son. She said there wasn't anything I didn't know on it. I was also his foster mom so I have more information than some adoptive parents. She said they do not give copies of the original BC. It is privilaged information. She said she would ask since we know anyway.

[sugarbabysmommy]

Michelle,
I'm talking about in cases where a document is lost or stolen. The person who's identity is at greater risk if a bc is lost or stolen is the person who it is issued for. Since non of the adults listed on the ducument have their own mother's maiden names listed they are less at risk, but since the child's mother's maiden name is listed they are at risk if the bc is lost or stolen. So, even though I do have the original bc, I could probably create new accounts and credit cards for my child's birthparents, but it would be hard to get into their existing accounts. Heck I could create new acounts without the orginal bc like you said.

I don't question your interest in having it, and still don't think you're nuts. I am just sharing the circumstances I'd feel comfortable making a copy.