[AMom2Two]

Does anyone know anything about the adoption laws in Florida?

We have been asked to think about adopting a newborn from there. He is due to be born in 4 weeks. We are being told mother and father will sign. It seems scary to have such a long distance match in which you have to get in a plane and fly to the baby and mother. We already had two failed placements at birth. I would hate to go there and fly home without a child. Do you fly after the birth? Anyone have any insight in the laws there? Is this very risky? I believe we would need to use an attorney and not our agency as our agency is not located down there. Would we need an attorney there and in our home state? I just don't know how it all works.

Can anyone provide any insight?

[stacyone]

Hey!!!!!!!

I'd research Florida laws. We adopted out of state, and yes, you can fly. You'll need a note from a pediatrician if the baby is under a week old -- or maybe that was just our airline.

You could end up stuck there if your Interstate Compact paperwork doesn't come through, but only for a few days, a week. I'd find a nice extended stay hotel w/a kitchen.

E-mail me details, girl!

[MommyofEli]

I do not know the answers to your question but I just wanted to tell you congrats on your match! I have read where people fly out of state often to pick up there child. I think many people go before the baby is born to be there for the birth. But I am sure others will answer you that know more about all of this.
I hope everything works out and you will be bringing your little one home soon!

[tobeafamily]

Amom,

There is no more or less risk adopting interstate then adopting locally. There is more paperwork, primarily with ICPC, that can hang you up. Be prepared to stay 10-14 days, and I agree get an extended stay hotel or short term corporate apartment.

FAA requires health cert for any infant under 14 days old to fly, it is irregularly enforced. Some airlines have policies that are more restrictive on age, again it's irregularly enforced so be prepared for the worst.

You can also wait to fly once TPR has been completed, rather than being there for the birth. I think that's 48 hours after birth for biological mother, biological father can sign or deny paternity at any time.

Here's the statutes from Florida:

http://www.flsenate.gov/Statutes/ind...3/titl0063.htm

HTH, hang in there. Hopefully some who have adopted from Florida can add their expertise.

Regina

[redhedded]

Amom2two, I superficially researched the adoption laws for virtually all states while we were waiting; however, I seem to remember nothing about Florida. I just wanted to provide my support to you. We flew more than 2000 miles from home after receiving the phone call about our daughter. We had experienced two failed matches prior to that. She was born in a state that had a ten day revocation; it was a risk and one that we would absolutely take again. In addition, due to a court snafu, because we were in a state that finalizes immediately, we had to wait for 40 days. There are no guarantees about the uniformity of the process, and we certainly did not anticipate our very lengthy wait there; nonetheless, we have our daughter, and I cannot remember my life before her. Regardless of whether this is right for you, I suspect the chances of your being chosen by an expectant mother who is far away are just as likely as one that is nearby. Each time and each distance in this journey is a risk.

Only you, as a family, can decide what you can do and cannot do. Your agency does not have to be located there, but you must have an agency or attorney that is licensed in the birth state. Most often, your agency or the referring agency would assist your with finding a reputable Florida attorney, if they do not directly consult with one. You would then use your attorney to finalize in your home state. Best of luck to you.

[Jensboys]

Florida adoption laws ( and I only know this because a friend JUST brought her baby home from there! ) are 72 hours - with no revokation period. They flew after 72 hours were up and the director's wife provided foster care. There are no court appearances and they finalize at home. (and this baby was coming to canada so I imagine its more complicated than a baby staying in the USA).

The agency they used in Florida had a 4 week waiting period on average from application to match. They had one failed match and with this baby, didnt even know they were matched with their new daughter until after the birthmother signed.

I think Florida is a bit backwards about openness -as the director, although supportive of them having contact, was a bit shocked by their desire to reveal information about themselves to the birthparents. They now do have a fully disclosed open adoption with the birthparents.

"K" you remain in my prayers! Jen

[amom4life]

Hi Amom2two,
Our facilitator told us that Florida is a very adoption friendly state. I also know that Kathy101 on the forum flew to Florida to pick up their son after consents were signed, but I can't remember how long their ICPC wait was. It didn't seem all that long though like maybe a week. You may want to talk to her personally about their experience.

Will be praying for you!!
HuGs!
Judy

[MMC66]

Hi Amom
Congrats on your match. We are flying several states away for our adoption. Will you be working with an agency there? Just make sure you have a good lawyer representing your interests and that there is a clear plan for the pbmom and pbdad to get counseling before and after the birth. We have found that dealing with another state has made for a lot of "cooks in the kitchen" and things can get a bit confusing at times. PM me if you want to hear more about our experience (we are "due" in a week). Best of luck!
Martha

[sandymomof2]

Hi:

I looked in your profile and saw that you live in NJ - so do we
and we have adopted newborns from out of state twice,
the first from CA and the 2nd from MN. We weren't using
an agency in NJ (except for the homestudy and post-placement
visits) so we had a lawyer here and also another lawyer in
the state where the baby was born. Our lawyer here chose
the out of state lawyer through AAAA (American Association
of Adoption Attornies). I would assume that you could
choose your own instead of you would prefer.

We flew to CA ahead of the birth of our 1st daughter. The
bmom was going to be induced so we were able to get
there in time. We cleared ICPC within a week (and that
included July 4 in the middle of the week) and flew home
when dd was 7 days old. We had taken her to a pediatrician
in CA the day before we flew, but did not have any
health-related paperwork to show the airlines if we had been
asked (never even thought about it!) When we were home,
I discovered that Continental does not let infants fly who are
less than a week old. While we were in CA, the bparents
went before a judge and surrendered their rights.

When our 2nd daughter was born, the bmom went into
labor earlier than expected and we were not able to get
there until later in the day after she was born. ICPC took
a bit longer than our lawyer had anticipated - seems that
some papers may have sat around on a desk in MN (maybe office
Christmas parties?) We were cleared to come home less than
2 weeks after the birth. Again, the bmom went before
a judge to surrender her rights, but she still had some time
where she could change her mind. We were able to
come home before that time. The bfather's rights were
terminated 30 days after the birth.

In both cases, we booked our flights at the last minute.
We were fortunate enough to be able to use frequent flyer
points both times. We did have to change our return flight
for the 2nd adoption due to the ICPC delays. I read another
time here on the forum that someone found it less expensive
to book one-way tickets rather than round trip when they
traveled last minute.

For the most part we stayed in hotels with a living area in
addition to a bedroom. We also had a small refrigerator
and a microwave. A pool was nice too!

Both adoptions were finalized here in NJ.
I would highly recommend the NJ lawyer that we used for
our 2nd adoption - if you want more info, let me know
and I'll PM you the info.

Sandy

[Livingmydream]

Congrats! I live in Florida, have adopted 2 here myself, and know of 3 out of state couple who adopted here with ease. You need to stay here until the interstate part is complete. If you pm me about what part of Florida I can most likely recommend an attorney or know someone who can. You can then call a Florida attorney and see if it is nessessary to use them. est of luck- Ellen

[Livingmydream]

Congrats! I live in Florida, have adopted 2 here myself, and know of 3 out of state couple who adopted here with ease. You need to stay here until the interstate part is complete. If you pm me about what part of Florida I can most likely recommend an attorney or know someone who can. You can then call a Florida attorney and see if it is nessessary to use them. est of luck- Ellen

[LisaCA]

hi and congrats!

we adopted in Illinois (we flew from California) and it was no problem. we got last minute flights that were quite cheap, and since bmom signed on a saturday the paperwork wasn't filed until the following monday and we were free to travel on wednesday. We booked a flight and headed out of town on a thursday, exactly 8 days after the birth of our daughter. We made a doc appt at a local doc the day before travel to make sure she was gaining weight and didn't have any issues before flying home. it was no problem other than the fact that everyone, and I mean everyone, wanted to interact with her. took us forever to get from point a to point b, and then keep dd free of adult germs. Still it worked for us, and we also had her seen a few days after we landed back home to make sure she was okay.

good luck,

LisaCA

[tomandcate]

I don't have advice for you Amom but wanted to let you know that you and your family continue to be in my prayers. I will be thinking of you as you consider this match.

Best wishes,

Cate

[bevy]

Amom,
Congrats on the possibility of another match! As you know, we are in Canada and have adopted in the US. Long distance is probably different that being matched with someone local but it can work and can be just as successful. We are in BC (west coast) and our agency is in MD (east coast), totally opposite sides of the continent! We flew to pick up Alexa at 8 days old and flew home with her at 11 days and had absolutely no problems! Just know the Florida laws and be prepared for possible delays with interstate issues!

Good luck,
Tara

[AMom2Two]

Thank you everyone for your replies. You have answered my concerns.

This situation has not come from our agency but thru a friend who lives down there and works with this young woman. I have been told that this young woman was never happy about this pregnancy and wanted to get an abortion from the beginning. At that time, my friend mentioned to her that she has some very good friends that are looking to adopt, just incase you don't want to have an abortion. She said she was SURE she wanted this abortion. Her boyfriend of 3 years persuaded her to not abort and to at least have the baby. She is 21 and has been with her boyfriend for 3 years. He is older and according to her and my friend, he is very lazy. My friend has met him as her and her husband have done things with this couple. She has said he is the nicest guy in the world to meet but he is stone cold lazy. He can't hold down a job for more then 2 - 3 weeks. She has told him that in order for her to keep the baby and raise it together, he needs to do three things. 1. Get his drivers license back, 2. get a job, 3. get someplace to live.

The baby is now due to be born in 4 weeks and he has not done one thing. Not even pay the $49 fee to reinstate his license. She has broken up with him and moved back home. Her parents support an adoption plan as they want her to be done and away from this older lazy boyfriend. She say's her boyfriend will sign the adoption papers because he realizes he can't take care of the baby. They are not sure if they want an open adoption.

My friend has told me that the entire time she is pregnant, she never expressed any moments of doubt of wanting this child for herself, of loving this baby or bonding with this baby. She would make comments about hating the baby because he is making her fat. Hating the baby because now she can't enjoy her life. She has said she never wanted to be a mother. She kept the baby to please her boyfriend in hopes he would change. She has visited several adoption agencies but has not signed yet. She keeps asking my friend about us, if we will adopt her baby. She knows about our last two adoptions falling thru. At first I told my friend "no", but then it started bothering me and I couldn't let it go so I came here to post.

I am so unsure of this. This would be another young women who has no experience with motherhood. I know what she is saying now can change. I don't know if I am healed enough from the last failed placement two weeks ago to take this plunge. Part of me feels like if this happens, this little boy ALMOST replaces our last little boy. KWIM?

Also, without the help of an agency, I'm a little scared. I did tell my friend to go ahead and talk to her coworker and let us know. We are open to talking with her.

But, I really don't know about any of this. I don't know what to believe or how far I should let myself get involved. The only reason I keep considering this, is because this little guy just feels like he is falling into our lap vs. waiting to be matched and hoping and praying it works out. I wasn't looking for this situation but it found us. I don't know. I just don't know. I am scared of being hurt again too soon. I am sooooooo scared of flying down there and home without a baby. Having to keep a face up until I can get home and collapse, KWIM?

Grrrrrr..... I can't wait for all of this to be done some day.