[1HappyMom]

Hi, I have a legal question. I recently adopted a baby that had been in my home since he was 7 months old. A month after finalizing his adoption, his bio-brother was born and he was placed in our home at 5 days old. The birth mom claims that the boys have the same father but, because it's such a small world, I received information that the birth mother had a relationship with another man while dating the claimed birth father. My little boys do look alike but their coloring is completely opposite. My concern is, does anyone have any information about adoptions being overturned because the real birth father comes forward and wants custody? Of course, I am very worried about this. I couldn't deal with my child being taken away from me and just because the proper birth father was not notified of the pending adoption. A DYFS worker said that once an adoption is final in NJ, that's it. But I'm still worried. Any info/comfort anyone can give would be greatly appreciated.

[nycfsa]

You should check with an adoption attorney to get an official answer. However, two different lawyers told us that if the birth father doesn't show up within 4 months, the NJ courts won't give him custody after that.

[tobeafamily]

I would pass on the information you have about this possible relationship to your SW/Attorney and have them pursue it with your children's biological mother so they may follow up. They will likely encourage her to provide information for anyone she had a relationship with even if she dosen't believe that the relationship resulted in a pregnancy. If she 'names' anyone else they'll specifically contact for TPR.

You will want to ensure that procedures for 'any unknown biological father' are followed with respect to Termination of Parental Rights. As long as this is followed, once rights are terminated either voluntarily or involuntarily, then that's it. It cannot be reversed. Laws have gotten more stringent since the "Baby Daniel" and "Baby Jessica" cases.

Does this help?

Regina

[1HappyMom]

Hi, thanks for your replies. I sent an email to a NJ Superior Court Family Part Judge that I am friends with and who finalized my son's adoption. I asked her about the rules in NJ as I have heard that NJ does not allow a birth father to reverse an adoption after 4 months. I will let you all know her answer and if it is something I should pursue, then I will contact our attorney. Our son is beautiful and he looks bi-racial only because we now have his "supposed" bio-brother to compare. His baby brother is very fair skinned, blue eyes and light brown hair. Our adopted son has very dark eyes - almost black, dark curly brown hair and olive skin. The claimed birth father has brown eyes and brown hair, so it is really possible that his side of the family is darker and that my adopted son picked up the dark traits from that side and my foster son is more like his birth mom's side of the family. I'll let ya'll know what the Judge says and what, if anything, I end up doing. After years of infertility, I'm finally a mom and will not give up my babies without a fight. Keep your fingers crossed that we also get to adopt our foster son. The odds are with us as he is the ninth baby to this mother and DYFS took all nine. All have been adopted except for our little guy - he's only six weeks old.