[akcskye]

If this means what I think it does, it means he's going into adoptive placement, right?

If so GREAT for him, but so sad for us.

I don't know how to explain it, but I felt a bond with that child, and I'd only seen one picture.

Oh well, I'll do a little pity party tonight, and then resume the search when ready.

We knew we shouldn't have our hearts set on a child (through AdoptUSKids.org), but at least the CW for him was kind enough to let us know if he was still available.

I did ask her that, heaven forbid, if his family and him didn't mesh, to keep us in mind.

Was that too bold?

Kristi

[joskimo]

I can't tell you how many times I've had to say "well good for that child" while thinking how sad for me I have to believe that the right matches get made, and mine will too (and so will yours) until then, gotta keep the faith right?

Good luck --

[luv'mall]

hi Kristi
All I can say is been there done that...
We too fell in love with a child from adoptuskids. By the time all our paperwork was complete she had been placed in another home. I was happy for her, she had found a forever family.
I have called on 20+ kids from adoptuskids and often received no return calls. Many homestudies where sent out, but no word. A few months after we received our first placement though our state, my social worker called to say that we had received 6 calls of children that we had looked into, and to see if we would still be interested in the chidren. Funny how things work out sometimes..
Workers try to keep the children in their state and do not look into placing them in another state until they have exhausted all other possiblities, which makes for long waits.
Don't dispare, your child will find their way to you...

Good luck on your continued search

Sue

[Support2Adopt]

Originally posted by akcskye
I did ask her that, heaven forbid, if his family and him didn't mesh, to keep us in mind.

Was that too bold?

Kristi

In my opinion, not at all. It just showed that your heart is in the right place. :-)
JJ

[mumoffour]

HI,
I think when we lok through th epictures of children who wait and make a decision to apply for a specific child we make a committment at that point. It is like th eblue line apearing on a pregnancy test. It becomes more and more of a committment as the social workers take an interest and then say they are matching with us. From that point our pregnancy is confirmed and secure so our commitment and love to that child grows day by day.
We have had to withdraw from an adoption at that point before and it hurts like a miscarriage or still birth would. We were once turned down by the doption panel after meeting with a child several times over a six month period that was terrible. And hten last month we were 1 month away from introductions and handover when the child we applied for died. It was a loss of our daughter, in our hearts and moinds she had been our daughter for 5 months. We are grieving that loss as if she had been in our arms and yet she never was.
Yes committment begins very early in the process.
And yet so few people acknowledge our loss when things don't go as planned.
Hugs, give yourself time and then carry on.
much love

[EZ2Luv]

Kristi,
I am so sorry that your adoption plans didn't go as you had wanted them to. I know all to much how the photolistings can pull on your heartstrings and then you see that one little angel that you fall in love with and you instantly feel a bond. I will tell you what I was told about the photolistings even though they are a great concept, I was told not to fall in love with a picture. Now I realize that this is easier said than done but what got me the most was the person who advised me of this with one of the very agencies that photolists. Kind of defys the purpose of the photolisting. KWIM? I think the best thing to do is try to keep an open mind when looking at these pics and realize that your probably not the only one captivated with this baby. I know it's hard believe me I do, especially when you are so wanting a baby. My heart breaks for you or any failed adoption. Please know that you will be inmy thoughts and prayers and that your special angel is out there and will come to you.


God Bless You
EZ

[Catlover]

Kristi,
The right child for you is out there. I, too, called about another child and was devastated when I found out she'd been placed. It felt personal - like she'd been snatched. I prayed about it a lot, and finally came to the realization that perhaps she was there to show me that a "perfect match" was there for me. I also asked them to flag her in the computer in case the adoption didn't work out. I continued to call and monitor, and it appeared that it was a very successful placement. I was happy for her. I was able to let it go.

Not too long after, I found my daughter and knew immediately this was the child I was supposed to have. I had to fight to the top of the heap to get her. They were looking for a very dedicated family because this child couldn't handle any more disappointments. But she was a very attractive and bright child, so many families were interested in her.

Hang in there!

E. J.