[JulesInColorado]

Ok - maybe I just need to vent or maybe I need a change..not completely sure but I wanted to ask your opinions. Here's the situation: I've worked for this company for 2 years, I am Exec. Asst., the executive that I supported just left the company. My job is secure because I also helped the othe execs in our area, but since he's left it seems that I don't have any credibility (i.e. people are acting as if they don't know my capabilities) which really bugs me!! I am currently reporting to my ex-bosses - boss (hope that makes sense) in other words who my boss used to report to, and he's a complete a*s. Instead of treating me or anyone else like a person and being interested in what we are capable of, he goes through other execs to get to me when he could come talk to me himself...i.e. I am a non-person to him.

Anyway, today I jumped through hoops to get a project done for him, common place, but nevertheless accomplished what was asked of me. Later in the day, because of his lack of communication with his own assistant (who is new), my name got drug through the mud. I wasn't told by the other execs that I report to, I was told by a friend who overheard.

I also seem to be the person that is expected to perform on any given task but never gets credit for doing things. I am the first to be given projects because no one else wants them or they are too busy and when I complete them and do a good job someone else gets the credit (like a manager for example).

Sorry to make it long - but had to give a little background. Bottom line is that I feel like I am going no where because it's "who you know" not "what you do" and I thinking about changing jobs. But, I have adoption to keep in mind...stability and FMLA leave. Most companies require you to be there a year before your job is protected and if I did take a few months off I would need to have this protection. So I am torn because our agency has you put in a pre-application and then you get on the list of families that has been approved for homestudy. I was told 6 months which would be January-February timeframe and adoption can happen anytime after that...could be right away or could be months. I don't want to live my life around it, but I feel I sort of have to because this is my first priority. Have any of you been in the same shoes - what did you do? Did you regret it? Did you tell the new job what your situation was? I also finally told everyone I work with that I was adopting, which was a big relief and if I leave I will have to face that again.

Thanks - any advice would be appreciated.

[lmrod55]

Hi Jules! I so understand where you are coming from...ugh! the joys of politics. Very hard to give you advice on this one as it is so personal, best I can say - go with your gut. Whether it seems like it or not, you will make the right decision and you know what you can handle.

I will tell you about my situtiaton: I changed jobs in Feb. '03 - and was ready to leave my new company by Oct '03 (for reasons similar to yours), however I toughed it out because I knew we were getting ready to start the adoption process and I did want to take some time off and you are correct, for your job to be protected via FMLA you have to be there at least a year. Well, turns out that our match was VERY fast and dd came in Jan - a month before I would be at my current job for a year! To my surprise, HR told me that if I wanted to take time off they would not guarantee my job when I returned - however my direct boss assured me that he would not replace me and told me to take as much time off as I wanted. Not feeling the warm and fuzzy I would of liked I did take some time off, but not as much as I palnned...I was off for 2 months but wanted to take 3 to 4. When I returned I felt obligated to stay at my current company, as my direct boss has been great about everything (allowing me to work from home when I returned to work, extra time off, etc.). He resigned a month ago - I no longer feel that obligation and will start looking for a new job shortly!

Do I have regrets: yes and no! I regret that I left my job in Feb '03 for my current employer (much bigger company that had adoption benefits) as we did know that adoption was were we were headed to start our family, we were just taking a much needed break. But at the same time I don't regret it, as this job provided me the flexiblilty I needed once our dd arrived.

I wish you luck - as I know it is an internal struggle!

[Guspiv]

My advice. Just hang in there for the sake of your child.....

I am in a simular situation. My immediate supervisor is leaving and even though the transitioning person is sort of inplace, I dont think I will work well with him. I see the organization changing and I feel that even though I have proven myself as a solid team player, I wont get the same support from the new supervisor that I recieve from my current supervisor. and on a personal note, I dont like the new guy! LOL! He's nice enough, but I just dont see myself on his team......

BUT! I have to hang in there, this is no time to be switching jobs when I will never know when our baby will come and how long I will want to be out. I have to hold to the fact that I have a good reputation around here, and even though my personality is going to clash with the new guy (and I see that it will) My work will speak for me, and keep me with a job at least until I am ready to look.

It may take a while to get matched and you dont want to risk starting a new job, and getting matched quickly and not qualify for any leave.

[JulesInColorado]

Thank you for your replys. LD I did go ahead and post my resume to a couple of jobs on monster. I got an immediate reply to one post. It's exactly what I used to do for my old boss...so I knew I qualified. I am still unsure, but I am going to at least investigate it. I am only going to take it if I get "warm fuzzies" that they will be true to their word about letting me take time off... and of course the pay and benefits are important.

I got another project from the jerk today - ugh I can't stand him. The worst part is that his new assistant is afraid of him so there is a lot of miscommunication going on. But I did email him directly (because I got so pissed) and he made an "admission" so that was nice. I spoke to his assistant today and said for her sake and mine that she needed to take the bull by the horns because it was affecting us both in bad ways.

In general though, I don't feel like I am going anywhere...and I have this internal struggle with my personal goal of adoption versus my desire to better my career path for family also (i.e. making better money, not being stuck in a no where job). I am a goal oriented person and it bugs me to not be moving forward.

Anyway I could ramble all night - thanks to both of you for your suggestions...