[thehumanlynx]

i need someone to provide me a link or a story about a child who speaks about how they feel about their mother and father, not the biological mother and father but rather the parents who mothered and fathered them and raised them.

i have 3 siblings through adoption and they are my brother and sisters, i know this. but i was recently told they werent 'real' because they are not blood relatives, i know this is false, but my siblings are still young and cant verbalize their feelings well enough yet.

so i would love someone to message me with a link to a story that shows an adoptive childs belief that the mother is a real mother and so on... thank you so much..

[thehumanlynx]

please respond if you know anything..

i need to make this person understand that a family is a real family with adopted or natural kids. the point is that there is love inherent inside the family. a love that cannot be denied.

please let me know if you have any stories like that.

thanks

[camilleh]

If you go to the "Adoptees" forum, I am sure you can find someone to answer your questions and share thoughts with you.

http://forums.adoption.com/f200.html - clicking here will take you straight there.

There are lots of threads in there that may be helpful to you.

Good Luck!

[riley6]

Well, I can tell you that I've over-heard my older (teen) kids defend us MANY times to MANY people. My son has told his older sibling that we ARE his REAL family as is the older sibling. I have over-heard a phone conversation he had with his b-mom that he is ALREADY HOME. Later he told me that she said she wants him to "come home" when he's 18.

When people tell me that I can't possibly love my non-biological kids as much as I do my biological kids, bc they aren't "my blood", I remind them that my wonderful husband isn't "my blood" either, but I've loved him for 25 years! (more than half my life!)

The only proof I need that my kids KNOW I'm their REAL mom is when they come to me with open arms, give me hugs and kisses, and tell me they love me. There is NO doubt in my mind that my kids KNOW who their MOM is. When we go on visitation with their biological parents, they come to ME for permission, to kiss their boo-boos if they fall, to me to buy them something.

If blood were the criteria to be family, we wouldn't have spouses, aunts and uncles (related by marriage, not blood), and siblings related by marriage. To say that "blood" is the criteria is just IGNORANT!

[Calebsmom]

Someone is questioning the love you have for your siblings and you feel the need to try to explain the depths of your love, simply because there is no biological relationship to them?

Love transcends the physical. It is not limited in the physical world, but biology is.

I may have a guilt-ridden obligation to attend a biological relative gathering during the holidays. It's not spontaneous. I freely seek to attend a gathering with those from whom I feel love and to whom I love. I don't love all of my biological relatives. I can't imagine spending an eternity with some of them.

DNA does not describe me as a person. It only describes the body that I use to get around. Okay, so I have the same suit as somebody else. I could congregate with others with the same uniform and find comeraderie, but they don't complete my soul. Love does that, and love knows no bounds.

Often people use spouses as an example of true family members being not-related.

I am an adoptive mother. My children are both biological and adopted. They are completely glued to one another. We have a very close-knit family. Our family does not include my biological brother. He is argumentative and pompous. He does not share our values. We may look alike, but then so does one of my high school classmates.

What makes a family real? Love, trust, respect, compromise, honesty...see where I'm going here? These are all intangible, non-physical qualities.

It is not fair of this person to ask you to define the limits of what true family is. It comes from the heart, mind, and spirit.

Best of luck.

[Support2Adopt]

Calebsmom,
I just have to compliment you on your post, particularly your comment about spouses.
Here's another anology. Just how many people does everyone know who considers their pets as a part of their family? Obviously, there are no biological ties, but the love and the feel of family is there nonetheless.
JJ

[Calebsmom]

JJ,

Thank you so much. Animals are definitely family members. I could tell you so many stories about the devotion, loyalty, patience, heroism, and unconditional love of animals for their human families. They are such blessings in our lives.

[dl]

Support2Adopt & Calebsmom: Completely agree that our four legged children are family!! When my husband died it was our precious four legged child that shared my grief, missed his presence in our home and gave me an emotional reason to get out of bed. My baby now is the joy of my life. "Obviously, there are no biological ties, but the love and the feel of family is there nonetheless." Oh Yes!!!

thehumanlynx: Two threads that you might find helpful.

My adopted parents are awesome!!!
My adopted parents are awesome!!!

“Insight for Aparents from an Adoptee”.
http://forums.adoption.com/showthre...&threadid=95993

[Support2Adopt]

[quote]Originally posted by dl
[b]Support2Adopt & Calebsmom: Completely agree that our four legged children are family!! When my husband died it was our precious four legged child that shared my grief, missed his presence in our home and gave me an emotional reason to get out of bed.QUOTE]
{{{dl}}}
What a difficult time that must have been for you. I'm so glad that you had a pet to help you along.
I think this pretty much demonstrates how one doesn't have to have a biological tie to have unconditional love.
JJ

[dl]

I think this pretty much demonstrates how one doesn't have to have a biological tie to have unconditional love.

Yes, it certainly does. When I reread my post I realized I should have said my four legged baby now is the joy of my life. Just as one child doesn't replace another, our four legged children are unique and each one holds a special place in our lives and hearts.

[thehumanlynx]

thanks so much for the replies, i'll let you know how this helps the situation

[thehumanlynx]

more would also be appreciated, i think its hard for some people to step outside of themselves and see things through other peoples eyes. no one can fully understand the love inherent in adoption until it is experienced, i was that way, i thought i knew but it is overwhelming to feel the way i do post adoption. thanks for all the comments, keep it coming.