[2Dads]

Hello,
We are a gay couple looking to start our adoption process. We have hired an attorney to help us find a baby to adopt.
Is anyone out there that might give me some input as to your process for same sex adoption?
I have created a web page and have finished or as close to finish our Dear Birthmother Letter...
We would love to talk to any same sex couple for support and advise.

Thank you,
2Dads.

[lynneHart33]

you would have to find a birthmom who would feel comfortable with same sex couples.

[2Dads]

Thank you. I have been made aware several times that finding a birthmother that feels comfortable with same sex couple will be hard and not to mention it will take a long time.
But we are still hopeful of find our perfect or close to perfect to be birthmother.

Thank you.

[davinok]

we are a lesbian couple and adopted through an agency. We also have some really close friends, a gay male couple who adopted once with an agency and once in a private placement. It is possible to find the right match. PM me if you want and we can share more. To get started, you need to explore the laws in your state; decide if you want domestic or international, etc; and find a professional (agency/attorney you can trust). I called about 40 agencies and just put our situation out their "we are a lesbian jewish couple and want to adopt an aa infant, would you be willing to work with us and have you had previous sucess with this sort of situation?" -- you could tell alot from their answer -- some for the actually content but much more by how many "uhms" they muttered and how comfortable they seemed talking to me -- I just hung up and moved on when I didn't get good vibes. I can give you a few agency names if you want to go that way, also Human rights campaign website has a referral for adoption profs by state, and on this forum there is a thread for gay adoptive parents. It is under "parenting" from the main this of topics and "blended families", hope you can find it.
K

[lisa in venice]

I live in Southern CA and know of four Gay and Lesbian families who have all adopted domestically in a relatively short period of time. I the the key or them was their level flexibility. All were open to lots of birth parent contact, all were open to race and all were open to limited physical or developemental challenges.

All both one family independent adoptions the fourth adoted from the county (3x) drug impacted but other wise healthy newborns. Half of the babies were AA or Biracial. If you are anywhere near LA there is a great organization run out of the West Hollywood Community Cener called "Maybe Baby" for Gay and Lesbian famlies. I would bet they would be a great resource.

If you are in the LA area and are interested in general adoption support I run a "Cookies and Conversation" group devoted to adoption issues out of my home in West LA. PM me and I will give you details.

lisa

[2Dads]

Thank you Lisa,
We live in Imperial County, we are sometimes in LA to visit my partners family, but once every 2 or 3 months.
I am getting a lot of feedback in regards to the waiting period. I am confident that we will be okay. We are open to biracial babies and babies with some developmental problems.
Thank you
2Dads

[LisaCA]

hi,

Like lisa, I understand from talking to a few couples that same sex couples don't necessarily have to wait a long time (ie a year or more). We also live in Southern CA. You might want to try a facilitator (there are some very good ones) who might speed up the process by making your profile more available out there. We used one who works with many same sex couples and is a nonprofit with a sliding fee scale. pm me if you're interested.

btw, we were presented with a couple of bmothers who just wanted a loving home and didn't care about other issues.

take care and good luck,

LisaCA

[jbce in noho]

hey there.

saw your message from a few months ago...just wanted to let you know that my partner and i were told it was going to take 2-3 years, since we were doing an open adoption, and 10 DAYS after we put our paperwork in, we got chosen and our son was born the next morning. so...be careful what you wish for!

good luck.
jeremy

[echaos]

Here is the link to our GBLT discussion for anyone who wants to join in!

http://forums.adoption.com/showthread.php?t=140838

[antifloyd]

I can't offer any suggestions or advice (it looks like you've gotten quite a bit of both) but I can certainly offer support! As a 17-yr-old bmom 24 yrs ago, I probably would not have been open to a gay couple adopting my child, but (thank the gods) I've become more educated/open-minded since then!
I hope you have had/are having good luck in your search!
Blessed Be!