[kinnj]

Hi all
I was wondering if anyone out there has ever felt that maybe they can't do it anymore. The wait is so agonizing and I am just so afraid that if we are matched, that they may change their minds or even worse like another disruption.
Maybe my mind is just racing, but any support would be appreciated.
KINNJ

[ketingle]

Been there! You might as well hang in there, because you know you would be miserable if you throw in the towel, too. You have been through all the steps, and you have put your bid in to the universe that you would love to parent a child in need. You are in the hardest part now--the wait. I have been there, and I don't want to have to go back there, ever. It was the toughest thing I have ever done. But, from one on the other side, I can tell you the roller coaster was sooooo worth it! Hang in there!!!!!!!
Karen

[stbakjj]

i think that at one point or another we all feel like we cant wait another day. we waited almost exactly 2 yrs to the day. we started the process just a few days after christmas and we picked up our little girl on dec 12th 2 yrs later. we got so many calls the months before of the agency just seeing if they could show of profile. every time they would call i would think maybe today. we actually had to turn down a set of 3 siblings because we just felt we couldnt give them all they needed. talk about feeling guilty and thinking what if we were suppose to take them and now our chance is gone. it will literally be when you think you cant take another day that it will happen. we had put the date of dec. 31 for us to end everything and close that chapter. and then it happen. so dont give up!! god has a plan we just always want right now and he always knows better!

[kathycasa]

kinnj,

Hang in there. Some days are better than others. I found that doing something for myself, whether it was buying myself something new, or spending my day doing something I had been putting off, or even just going to the nearest coffe shop to perk myself up and read a magazine or talk to others there. The whole process CAN consume your life if you let it. If you are not workingtoday, one of my favorite things to do when I'm stressed is to get in the car by myself and just hit the interstate, listen to music, and just meditate. I'm really not weird.lol
Anyway, it WILL happen, and you CAN do it. Focus on the end result of becoming a true family. Keep your chin up. Know I will be praying for you. Maybe you can get away this weekend. Just take a road trip. What the heck. Live on the edge. Have a great weekend. Best wishes. Kathy

[heikkila]

Yes, I think that especially those of us who have survived a failed adoption understand exactly how you feel.

Trying again after a loss makes it harder to imagine a good outcome. The waiting is so hard anyway.

I know there is a happy ending to your story - it just needs to be found. I'll pray that your happy ending comes soon!

Rebecca

[wishing4real]

Oh boy do I. We just had a failed adoption last week and I don't know some days if I can take it anymore. To top it off, I had taken some time off work for the birth, etc. and now work does not have a place for me. So no baby and no job. It is killing me because now I have nothing to do but sit here and think about, and dwell on it. I don't ever remember a time in my life that I have been so sad and depressed. I don't know that that helps you any, but sometimes misery loves company.

I try and remind myself on days like this, that there must be a plan for all of us and that the failed adoption occurred because it must not have been the right thing for us, the baby or somebody. I don't know if I say that because it makes me feel better or because I truly believe it, because, quite honestly, I believe in it less and less everyday.

Hold on because you have traveled so far to get here. Giving up means a life without a child, which must have been important to you at some time or you wouldn't have gotten this far. I know my life will not be fulfilled if children are absent from it, so I have no choice but to hang on. When it does happen, the wait, looking back, will seem shorter and it will all have been worth it.

Hang in there . . . there's gotta be better days ahead.

[b48butterfly]

I feel that way right now. We are going into the 4th year of waiting. We have had some contacts,scammed,and matches that have fallen through. We continue to put our faith in God. We pray a lot, but sometimes it just feels hopeless. Hang in there.It will happen. We have had so many let downs, that it's hard to get excited about the possibility. I know when it does happen, and we hold our bundles of joy we will look back and see that it was worth the wait. Good Luck!!!

[Support2Adopt]

[quote]Originally posted by wishing4real
[b]Oh boy do I. We just had a failed adoption last week and I don't know some days if I can take it anymore. To top it off, I had taken some time off work for the birth, etc. and now work does not have a place for me. So no baby and no job. It is killing me because now I have nothing to do but sit here and think about, and dwell on it. I don't ever remember a time in my life that I have been so sad and depressed.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I went through a failed adoption, but ended up with a happy ending. I think one of the hardest things is having to tell people this happened because you have to relive the experience over and over again. Hang in there. It will happen for you!
JJ

[georgiagirl]

Waiting is so hard. I thought of chucking the whole idea after months and months of the hard press which involved failed adoption attempts, daily networking, ya da, ya, etc. Then I had a dream and realized that it was necessary to stay on track because I was a lot closer to having a family than I could see in my present circumstances. Adoption is a journey and I needed to continue.

I started to be more positive in my attitude which helped me to relax some and concentrate on other areas of my life. It was still several months before I got the call...but the call did come.

[kashicaat]

The wait has been horrendous for us too, and I think I hit my lowest of low early last week. I was crying and upset and truly wanted to throw in the towel. My hubby wouldn't let me and after a couple of days I was okay again.

I guess it had just finally hit home that we were waiting yet again, and it just felt terrible to more backwards instead of forward (we were matched but the bmom demanded an pretty large sum of money after the match and we said no because we just can't afford more than what was in the bmom expenses budget, and so she dropped us).

I have my good days and I have my very bad days. I just try to keep as busy as I can and I hope that soon we have a good turn of events.

Good luck, and when I am really down I keep trying to remind myself that in the end it will be all worth it, especially because i have never heard that in the end it wasn't worth it

[mj77]

I remember giving up several times...though I never actually "gave up". I prayed God would take my desire to be a mom away as it hurt so much to wait and wonder if we were forgotten. I wondered "why?", I cried, I felt no one understood. But our day did come and I tell you honestly, the wait was worth it! I really think I have a deeper appreciation for my son because of the wait. It gave me more time to think about being a mom and analize myself. I read books and took classes durring that waiting time that have helped me to this day. Hang in there! Your day will come .

Melissa