[Merdine]

Hello My name is Merdine, I have gotton my neice ,when she was 2 days old and her birth Mother my sister was in jail when she gave birth to Angel, she had gotton out and in less the 30 days she was back in Jail, now she is trying to make contact and wantsto be a mother, I love my sister and i feel for her on one hand but then I am like why should i help her. She has 2 other kids and never has seen them, they are in social services now and now she gives birth to another child. Angel is 6 months old now and she is my life... when my sister sent social services to find me i was just getting into school and trying to make something of myself, i had less the 8 hours to make up my mind in wanting to take Angel or let her go to social services... I am not a cold hearted person so of course i said i would take her. Now i am wondering what am i to do... I mean should i let her mother contact us while she is in Jial and when she gets out there is no word from her until she gets lock up again. Or should i just not even bother writting her or execting her calls.... I am so really confused. I just know that i am trying to give Angel a life that she could have have in a Foster home. I am her only family and i want to keep her......We are trying to make this work but i do not know if i should kiss my sisters butt to get full custdy of Angel and give her what she wants or what.... Plz can anyone help me out?

[geneal]

Merdine,
I think you are doing the right thing! And you are family of Angel and I believe Angel needs to be with you, if your sister is not able to care for her-if she has not changed her ways, then you should continue to care for her/adopt her. With my experience, she is better to be with her family then foster care. Just from the experience my family is dealing with a murder that happened in my family less then a year ago and all the bull crap we are dealing with to get a family member out of foster care. DHS and Foster care is working against all family members related to this child. They say the state of Iowa is for working to get children back into families homes! This is a untrue statement. And I wish there was someone that I could trust and talk to see we are good people. We have been thru enough with dealing with a murder now fighting to see and foster/adopt a child that my family loves and wants badly. I just feel their alot of unethical professional people that live in my county.
I would be glad to talk with you.
Thanks,
Geneal

[ladytigger2856]

I am in the same boat. Myself I told bio mom to stay away... its to hard on the kids

[gidgyt]

hi my name is gidgyt i was in a situation very close to yours. my brother was in prison (age 18) and the mother (21) was living with my parents when my nephew was born. she moved in with friends that done alot of drugs, you had to walk thru paths of dog crap and the kids were crawling in it. i had just got divorced and was starting my life agian i was 28 and never had kids cause i was selfish. my parents took my nephew in may of 02 and i said by aug if she hasn't came to get him i was taking him. i got him in aug and tried to give her time to get her life together. jan 03 i finally made her sign guardianship papers it is about the same as adopting. my lawyer put that she has to take me back to court and prove she can be a better mother. dec o4 i told her i was moving out of state. i would let him stay at his grandmas (her mom) one day every two weeks. the last time he went there they took him and i had to get the law involved and charge them with kidnapping. the child will grow a bond to you and won't care you didn't give birth to her. the mother needs to understand that also and not be selfish. i guess after i wrote this novel i would see about getting guardianship.