[DBM68]

I hope this is ok to ask and that I say it right -

Our homestudy is done and we have to now pick an agency. Our SW gave us her favorite agencies for domestic -

Of course she knows our entire financial position - so she knows - not to say we are wealthy by anyyyy stretch, but adoption money isn't a problem [let me say this is mainly b/c my dad left me money and I'd trade it tomorrow for one more day w/ him] - BUT, just b/c we 'can' spend it doesnt mean we 'want' to - esp. unnecessarily. Muuuch rather keep those funds for college funds!

I need some feedback on things:

1. SW said in the end all domestic adoptions end of costing about the same thing, 20 to 25K - is that true?

2. She has a lot of connections at these agencies it seems - they all know her name - is that a good thing or a bad thing?

3. How do I find other reputable agencies? There is sooo much info out there I am overwhelmed -

4. ** expenses just seem so open ended - two agencies I talked to don't even give you an accounting, I'm sorry but that just doesnt seem to be too much to ask for - how do you keep from getting taken unnecessarily?

I have some books I need to sit down and read but I would really like your opinions and advice as well.

I so hope this all doesnt sound crass or cheap - I just used to being very very careful w/ how I spend my money adn I don't want to stop now!

Thanks for your help.

[lmrod55]

I think you are very wise to ask these questions, and just b/c you "have" the money doesn't mean you have less of a reason to ask them!!

1. I think your SW is wrong that all domestic adoptions cost 20 - 25K, I have heard of many stories where the adoption didn't cost that much! Ours was half that (AA).
2. I would tend to think that if your SW has been professional and you like the way she handled your homestudy that it is a good thing she is well known at the agencies she recommended.
3. Did you look at the thread on this forum where people recommend the agencies, etc. that they have worked with - that is a start. Also, are there any adoption support groups in your area, maybe attend one and talk with some of the people there.
4. I am not too sure how many agencies will give you the accounting that you are looking for, ours didn't - but we were ok with that. As to your last question of how do you keep from being taken - well I think you are on to a great start by asking these questions from the beginning. You have to be cautious, but follow your heart and your gut - those instincts are usually correct.

Good luck to you!!

[mlbsands]

It all depends on what you want to do.. we did NOT want to just pick one agency and go with that., we wanted to network with many agencies and facilitators to help expand our chances at getting a match. We also did NOT want to spend more than 20K TOTAL (including travel and any expenses/legals etc)

You can feel free to PM for more specific information, but you are wise to check this all out first.

We just brough home our son (who was 1 month yesterday) he is full CC and it look like we will end up paying about $12,000 to $14,000 total ( ihave not yet had a chance to figure out what all the costs will be since we have not yet finalized.)

Add to that the fee's we paid for adertising and out profile add a few hundred more.. )

Mandy

[Liepolds]

As you know, we are still in the homestudy process, but in talking to friends that have adopted and agencies, a domestic adoption does vary and depends on the situation.

One thing I learned is, the cost of adoption cost can sometimes be driven depending if the b/mother had healthcare or not. From what I learned(and if I am wrong, PLEASE correct me)that price also depends on your criterias of what kind of baby you are looking for. It does make me sick, but, I learned that price and timeline depends on race. My DH and I are open to any race. We just want healthy. Our agency told us that we could get chosen sooner and the cost varies from race to race. To us, a baby is a baby! Even though the agencies say they are not in the business for profit, how can they put a price on a babies head per race? Oh I am going off on a tirade, Sorry!!

Hope I answered any questions you have. As always best of luck, and I hope you get chosen QUICK!!

Kim

[wishing4real]

A good place to start is to request info packets form the agencies you are considering. Review them carefully. Look at the number of children placed historically over the past few years. Call the governing agency over them and find out if there have been complaints loddged against them (like the BBB, but here it was Health and Human Services - they are responsible for licensing, etc .)

Ask for references . . . I know they will only provide references for happy customers, but at least you will know there were happy customers at all.

Several of the agencies we looked at based their fees differently:

Some had a flat fee that covered adoption costs including mother's living expenses, medical expenses, etc. Basically fees cover everything, but not child's medical as they can be placed on your insurance at birth.

Others offered a sliding scale based on income. Flat fee plus percentage, so if your income is higher, you can pay much more.

Others based it on race. While it is sad, the reason I was given is because, here anyway, white bmoms know that many will pay a premium for their children and that they can demand more support during the process, also, statistics show that less of them are on medicaid or subsidy, so the adoption agency generally puts more out for support. I am in Utah though and we are not as culturally diverse as other states, so there is more of a demand for whilte children than others simply because there are more white families here. So it may be different where you live . . . I don't know.

Others have a flat fee and then you pay mother's expenses. Unfortunately though, if the bmom changes her mind, you are out the support you paid to her.

Travel expenses are generally not included in the fees. So you may be obligated to pay for you or the bmom, depending on the situation, unless you choose a local agency who serves only local bmoms.

We chose an agency that paid all bmom living expenses from our fees. If our match falls apart (which it may, the baby is supposed to be born on Mon or Tues and we have not heard from the bmom for nearly weeks), then our fees will be applied to the next match. The fees are non refundable, but the agency writes them off, instead of the adoptive parents. It is also a local agency so no travel is involved. Out costs will be about $18,000. A little higher than some, but it was comforting knowing that the costs were fixed and we could depend on paying that amount when it was all said and done (excluding baby's medical, travel, and home study fees).

I hope that didn't sound like rambling. There are so many avenues to take, but know that which ever you choose, the little spirit that is supposed to join your family will. . . it will find you when the time is right!

Good luck!

[Opting4Adopting]

Our s/w told us to expect 12-15K for a domestic if we're working with an agency.
We're choosing to work with multiple agencies, doing our own website & business cards to help find a Bmother (we're over 40 and the more help we can get the better )...and also, you don't have to pay the bmother's expenses, it'll just make your match faster the more open you are.
Good Luck!

Kat

[redhedded]

DBM, I agree with the other posters that there is vast difference in the adoption experience and the route options, as often witnessed here in these forums. In my experience, your social workers "estimate" of expected fee is very accurate, regardless of the race of the child you adopt, which has often been a big misconception here! The biggest financial difference tends to be in the route one chooses - the choice of a fully licensed agency or adopting independently, using an attorney. A licensed agency has greater fees but often speaking less financial risk for you as an adoptive parent. There are dozens of agencies that provide medical care through their physician (using agency funds, now mostly Medicaid), provide counseling, make housing available (if needed), have independent representation for both adoptive families and expectant mothers and many have in house legal services for finalization. Your fees are applied to a successful adoption, not to a match; expectant mother expenses are never paid by you per se on an individual basis. They are things provided by the agency.

Your ageny fee does not change, whether your first adoption "match" is successful or whether you have several failed "matches." There are many here who have networked independently (and give good advice on doing so) and adopted successfully. We read voraciously and decided that an agency adoption was the ONLY path for us. We experienced two failed matches before our daughter was born; we were disappointed and sad but able to get right back on the roller coaster and wait. We NEVER experienced anger as an emotion in this process. For us, our brief disappointment paled in comparison to a lifetime of a woman's regret had she made a decision that was not right for her. I think there would have been a much greater propensity to become angry had we lost money that would have sidetracked us or put our parenting plans on hold.

The last time this issue arose, there were many posters who were completely unaware that such agencies exist. If you find one, after gathering information packets and speaking to others, contact the Bureau of Licensing in your state; they will tell you the status of the agency's licensure. Following an annual survey the agency has 60 days to complete a plan of action and correct any issues that have arisen. It does not mean that there aren't bad agencies out there; there are, but they have far more checks/balances and requirements in place than other routes.

Regardless of your path, best of luck.

[Support2Adopt]

We adopted four newborns and none of our adoptions were in the $20,000-$25,000 range. (This includes traveling expenses!)
Go to the area of this site that is broken down by state and then post where you are and how you are looking for an agency there and hopefully, someone can help you.
Also, with any agency you deal with, they should be able to break down the financial fees for you.
JJ