[jleasterday]

I just received a letter the adoption agency we are going through. It told us that they are offering another plan for hopeful adoptive parents. This one is with a facilitator. The facilitator can match you in possibly 3-9 months. Our agency average is 10 months. Dh and me have been waiting 9 months. I would like to hear anybody's thoughts or expereinces with a facilitator or agency.

Jennifer

[wishing4real]

We are going through an agency. While they prepared us for a wait of approx. 1 year after approval, we were matched 3 weeks following approval from the board. Our daughter is due within the next week or two, so I cannot tell you, yet, how it worked out through the end. I was happy that we had such a quick match, because the waiting seems as though it would be aggravating. I know the wait between match and birth is killing me. With you having already been waiting for 9 months, it seems plauasable that the right match is just around the corner, considering the agency's average wait is 10 months.

I also have a friend who is using a facilitator outside her home state. She has been matched 4 different times within 6 months, but each has fallen through. She has also been mislead by the facilitator in terms of laws, etc. regarding our home state so that she will continue to work with the facilitator.

I have another friend who is adopting through an agency other than ours that has been officially waiting 2 months. They haven't heard a word and a ** has not even been in since they were approved.

I know that no situation, agencie or facilitator are the same, so do not judge based on these stories alone, but that is what I can offer.

I really believe, if it is any consolation, that the child that is to join your home will find you whether through your current agency or a facilitator. Be patient because when right little spirit is ready to come home to you, it will happen.

[Momof2andcats]

I am not a risk taking person. With that said, I spent over a year to almost 18 mo researching agencies until I found one with a flat fee system so even if the bmom changes her mind, you are not out a single dollar.

What I don't like about facilitators is that they are not goverened by any laws. Pretty much anyone can put up a website advertising that they are a facilitator. I like the "hand holding" that goes along with using an agency, I like that the agency already has a lawyer and they take care of everything for you.

Good luck to you! Best wishes-Sarah(mom of 2)

[Support2Adopt]

So much depends on who you are using. If you are thinking of using a facilatator, there are some good ones out there. Just be sure they are legal to use in your state.
JJ

[jleasterday]

Just wanted to thank you all for the replies. They helped me get some perspective and decide to stay by the plan we are already doing (let the agency continue to handle it).

Jennifer

[heikkila]

I'm glad to see you decided to work with the agency. We have had two successful adoption (both with licensed agencies) and one failed adoption through a facilitator. We were devastated and left in a bad financial situation after our failed adoption, and I would never recommend using a facilitator.

Good luck.

Rebecca

[cathy102]

We used both and they both worked out for us..

But if I ever adopted again, I would use the Agency we used.. They were great to work with..

Cathy

[amom4life]

Hi Jennifer,
We worked with a facilitator and were very happy with them and believe me they did the hand holding along with praying with and for us. They were there for us every step of the way.

Our adoption coordinator still stays in touch with us. She called last week just to see how we all are and to see if we could come for a visit. We took our son to their office a couple days later for a visit and the following week we got a card from her saying how wonderful it was to see us all and how happy we all look.

As JJ said it depends on what facilitator you choose. There are good and bad just as there are good and bad agencies.
Judy