[Midmodad]

Jill,
really enjoy your story, please keep us posted. I too am looking at older adoption, found out yesterday that everything is apporved and i can start looking at profiles.

wish me luck !

Midmodad

[Crane13]

We met with M again today. We went to a park and played football and ran around. We talked about disciplin. He helped us come up with "rules" for living together, like only one hour fo TV a day, doing homework when he gets home from school, bedtimes, etc. He hates his group home. When kids are bad (lose there levels) they have to wear orange jumpsuits, like they wear in prison. We got to talk to him about how we will discipline him. We were able to tell him that we would never hit him. It was a new concept to him that things can be taken away as a consequence. We talked about what classes he wants to take in HS. He is really wanting to meet the foster baby that is with us currently. It is obvious to all that this is a match and that we will be together.

Then....

We left a message for our agency worker. (We found M without the help of the agency...) She called M's worker and said that it would take up to 6 months for the paperwork to go through to get M across state lines and to our house. It is so frustrating that we want him so bad and he wants us so bad, but things are taking so long. The agency worker told M's worker that it would take at least 6 months for the agency to get paid!!!! I am so sad for M right now. It was the hardest thing I have ever done leaving him at the ranch and driving home without him.

Do I hire a lawyer? I have already missed 15 years of my son's life. Another half of a year seems unnecessary and a waste.

sigh.

[Just Julie]

Spring break 2002 we took our 16 y/o foster daughter and her younger sister, also in foster care but in a group home in a different state, to Canada for a week. All social workers approved, and of course we had to have papers signed by court, but since all the adults, as well as the kids, wanted to make it happen, everyone worked together so that it did.

Surely in your case everyone wants to make this happen. There must be some way to get temporary custody, even if by the week or month, so that he could be with you sooner. What about you being respite foster parents? I'm sure the group home could use his bed. What about school? Can't the people in charge see the benefit for him to start school where he will finish the year? Whose "best interest" are the authorities looking out for, for crying out loud. I'm praying for your family.

Midmodad and DinPAis2adopt, blessings to you also for opening your hearts and homes to older kids. They are awesome and so are you.