[love to be mom]

Hi I hope everyone is having a good summer. My questions are...
We are trying private domestic adoption. We are hoping to adopt a baby between the ages of 0 -1. In our ads we state "...adopt your baby" instead of newborn. We received two calls. One from a girl that had a 2 month old, but was looking for expenses that we couldn't legally give her. Another from a girl who sounded horrified at the thought of having to place her 11 month old. I advised her to call our attorney to see if he could offer her any advise on how to improve her situation. Of course after I hung up the phone I was physically ill. I had no intention of accepting that situation bc it felt like we would be ripping the baby from her, but then she never called back, not us or our attorney to ask for help. Hopefully she worked things out and didn't have to give the baby up. She sounded so sad, I'll pray for her again. I had questions right???
I have heard that people have a better chance of adopting a baby already born if they use an agency, does anyone know if that's true?? Is there a different way that I should word our ads??? My DH has to many concerns for us to go the foster/adopt way so for now that's out. We wanted domestic bc of the possibily of a semi open adoption, so international is also out for now. Does anyone have any suggestions on anyway to improve our chances?? Sincerely, Rosa

[Linny]

Hi!
We have adopted seven times in many different ways. One way that we have NOT adopted has been to 'go independently'.
While I know that this route is often less expensive......I also know that it carries its own risks.
We have adopted internationally, through the foster care system (older kids)....and more recently over the last two years......privately, w/ an agency. We also have worked with our own attorney who does a LOT of networking with other attorneys and agencies. It has been through her, that we discovered the agency that brought us to our two most recent babies.

As I said, I know agency adoption 'can' be more expensive....it's also much safer......ESPECIALLY (not shouting here, understand....only emphasizing my point)......if you choose an agency that doesn't require a bunch of money up front. Choose an agency that will only require a few hundred (if that much) dollars before the placement, and expects the balance ONLY after the placement has been done. These can be more difficult to find...but they do exist.

A reputable agency will offer and provide counseling for the birthparents, oftentimes more accessibility to info you may need, and a 'buffer' to help determine whether a birthparent is actually wanting to 'place'....or is considering another option.
In your independent status, there is a lot of lea-way for loss of money, in my opinion.

I hope this helps in some way......


Sincerely,

Linny


PS.....We wished to adopt only AA babies...which we did. Both of our wee ones were already born. One was still in the hospital...the other was several months old.