[drewheidi]

Hello I am new around here and my husband and I are looking intoo adoption. We were going to do an international adoption but heard about these private adoptions through lawyers etc... I was wondering does anyone know on average how much these cost? Also are you responsible to pay for the birthmother etc? And finally do you have to stay in touch with the birthmother once the baby is yours? Thank you for any help!


Heidi

[3girls1boy]

Heidi,
Adoption costs vary. There are so many variables that I don't think anyone could quote you a price. If you adopt through the state your expenses may be less, your insurance may pick up some of your child's costs. The birthmother may have insurance, or she may be on assistance. In some states you are allowed to help with birthmothers living expenses in some you are not. Depending on what kind (open, semi-open, closed) of adoption you have you may or may not stay in contact with the birthparents. I would say contact an agency- and just get some information. Find out if there is an adoptive parents group in your community- they can be a great resource. Go to the library and educate yourself on adoption, the more you know the better. We chose to go with an agency over an attorney because it was less expensive, and we got so much counseling and support from our agency, and so did our daughter's birthparents.
Good luck
Lisa

[jewelewis]

It will also depend if you find the pbmom or if the lawyer does. I have a friend who did a private adoption trhough a lawyer and paid over 20,000 (the lawyer found the birthmom). We are adopting a baby due the end of this month and we will pay less then 5,000 (we found the pbmom on our own). She has assistance with medical we are paying for the attorney fees and her rent for June, July and August (our offer to help her out okayed by our lawyers).
Julie

[lisa in venice]

With privte adoption your costs vary depending on the situation and the prevailing professiopnal costs in your area. I have herad of some private adoptiuons costing $500 and others costing $100,000. The average family spends between $10 and 18K. The factors the build in cost are:

Professional fees (homestudy, legal fees, Adoption Service Provider etc)

Birth parents expenses if they are needed. These can include living expenses for several months

Medical expenses. All expectant parents who have no medical insurance can be covered by Medicaid but ometimes there are snafus an you wind up coving prenatal and birth expenses.

Travel. If you need to travel out of state you have airfare, rental car and hotel. If you travel to a state where ICPC cant ake weeks to clear your costs go up.

We have done two indiendent adoptions (private doptions with lawyers) and one was well under $10k and the other was twice as much. The difference was travel expenses and the cost of having one one but two lawyers and two ASPs.

The big risk in independent adoptions are that unlike a flat fee agency if a match doesn't work out you can lose money. We have very little money to risk so we only went with situation where there were very few pre-birth expenses.

As to keeping in contact with the birth faily after placement that is something you need to work out with the birth family. Every situation is different and you can choose the level of contact you want, form none at all to frequent visists. In domestic adoption figure there is going to nbe at least some level of openness (contact) and the more flexible you can be the faster you will probably be matched. I would recommend some reading on open adoption before you rule it out completely. "The open Adoption Expereince" and "Children of Open Adoption" are both good books. I also recommend that you make sure there is a way to contact the birthfamily. You may think you want a completely cloesed adoption at first but you will be surprised to fiind you feel differently in a few months. If you don't get that info at the time of placement you may be out of l uck down the road.

We had a child with medical issues and a closed adoption. Our ds'sDrs could not even get medical questions answered in a non identifying way. I highly recommend there be some way for you guys to contact eachother even if it is thru an intermediary.

lisa