[jennied]

What is the general concensus on letting work know your adoptions plans? In a way I feel compelled to let them know that we have started the process bc I will need some flexibility in my schedule to take educational classes, have meetings, etc., but then on the other hand I don't want it to be used against me in consideration of future promotions (since we won't know how long the process will really be). I'm torn. What has worked out for you?

Thanks,
Jenn

[spaypets]

I adopted internationally and didn't inform my job until we received a referral. I mean, I wouldn't have told them if we were trying to get pregnant, so I didn't feel obligated to tell them we were trying to adopt until there was an impending baby. As it was that was still about 6 months notice -- about what I would have given if I'd been pregnant.

[1of2moms]

I have informed work about trying to adopt. But then I also let my principal and some coworkers know about trying to get pregnant because I had to get time off to go see the doctor (doing AI).

I teach in a small school and over a quarter of the teachers/ staff are adoptive parents so I am finding a great deal of support from them. I think this makes my situation different. I think you have to go with what your gut feelings are regarding your employer and how child/adoption friendly the company is. You can find some of that out by contacting personnel and requestion company policies on adoption. GOod luck.

[BlueMommy]

I am very curious about this too. With domestic adoption so hard to plan out timing, I am unsure what to do. We could be a call like Lisa did about a bmom due very soon or we could be waiting over a year for a match.

I feel it is a private matter until it impacts my job. I will give them as much notice as I have once I am firmly matched. Could be months, could be days? Who knows???

This is a great question, Jenn.

Robyn

[lmrod55]

I told my immediate manager that we were starting the adoption process, as I knew that I was going to have to "take off early, come in late" trying to get the home study completed. I explained to him that I was telling him in confidence and asked that he didn't share the information with anyone else. Once we were matched with a potential bmom, had met with them, and knew that we were moving forward with the match did I tell my co-workers.

I agree, I wouldn't tell my manager that we were trying to get pregnant...but the relationship I have with my manager I felt giving him the heads up on adoption was appropriate.

[jennied]

I wouldn't/didn't inform my employer when I was trying to get pregnant, but then I didn't get pregnant so I never had to deal with the issue of telling them that I was and that there would be doctors appointments that I would need some "flex" time to go to. In the same respect it seems as though the adoption process can be similiar to being pregnant in that you need that time to finish homestudies and things of that nature. I guess this will become more clear the closer we get to homestudy time.

[taggrr2]

I did pretty much the same thing as lmrod. I felt because of the uncertain time frame I needed to share this with my immediate supervisor in confidence. With pregnancy, typically the situation is evident and there is plenty of time to plan. Not so with adoption where the wait can literally be days. To me, that was only fair and I would not have been comfortable just up and leaving.

Once we were matched and selected, I shared with a few coworkers.

[algal]

Before talking to your employer, you need to consider whether the company you work for is family friendly. Mine is. And since I knew how flexible they would be with me, I felt I should alert them to my plans as early as possible so we could talk about how the company would deal my project load while I'm out of the country. I found that my employer was even more supportive than I anticipatived and is willing to help me research agencies, etc..

[mumofone]

I mentioned it to my department manager. He was amazing. Actually, he had asked me that year what I wanted for Xmas. I told him there was only one thing I wanted, a baby. Just 3 months later, we brought our new baby home.

We found out about our new son on a Friday. I called my boss over the weekend and told him the news. We were to bring our baby home on Monday.
I started my leave immediately. I only had 10 weeks paid leave, but took a few extra unpaid weeks.

Now here in Canada, adoptive parents can get 8 months paid with an additional 4 unpaid. Even that is not enough. LOL

Good luck....

[wannabemama]

I was wondering about this, too. I'm in a little bit of a different situation, though. I am working part-time temporary for a company and they have just indicated their desire to hire me on full-time permanent. I feel that I should let them know that I am planning on being a parent, whether I eventually get pregnant or pursue the Ukraine international adoption that I'm hoping for. Both processes would cause me to miss work occasionally and then to miss a large chunk of work. I'm not too sure how they will react to this news, but feel that I should be honest and if it's meant for me to work there that they'll accept it. I'm also trying to find out if the insurance they provide offers any coverage for fertility procedures, as the insurance I'm on at my husband's work pays zip.

[LoriLou]

I really do not have an answer for you .... but ... I would change what I did. We moved, were expecting to adopt a baby in September and made the choice for me to not go back to work. Well, two failed adoptions later, 9 months later, I am still not working and going out of my mind. I would say that working helps make the time go by faster ... I miss it.