[SHERRILBM3]

I need som advice very badly. We fostered my niece for about 5 months. We decided to have her removed from our home, we felt like her being with us was too easy for mom. We felt that if she was with someone the mother didn't know she would try much harder to get her back. We also had alot of problems with the niece at the time. Well it backfired and now they are talking about having our niece adopted!! Is it too late to step in again and make this permanent? Will they not give her back to us because we had her removed? If that is the case, I will back off of the idea of trying to get her again. The niece is now on medication for her behaviors, and seems to be getting much better. I really think it would be better if she could stay within the family. I guess my other concern is the grandma is trying to get my niece. She is 63 and has just finished raising another one of my sister's kids and I just don't feel like she can do this again and especially at her age!!!!! HELP, what do I do??????

I NEED HELP DESPERATELY!!!!

[Loving Aunt]

Does children services know why you had her removed? Does your neice have a GAL?

My neice had her children removed 7 months ago, 2 of the kids went to live with their dad's but there was still a 1 yr. old who was placed with his legal grandma. We went to court for this child because we knew this lady wasn't his grandma and she absolutly hated my neice and refused my husband and I to see him. The GAL proposed paternity tests and they were granted. Well...we have him now because she wasn't grandma.

My husband thought...ok...the child is with us and my neice will start doing her case plan...NOPE! Nothing...she actually regressed.

My point is NEVER assume mom is going to be scared of any move you make.

From what I have read family has #1 priority in adoptions.

[SHERRILBM3]

Thanks for the advice, but I really could use some more!! I am just stuck! I just don't know what the best thing to do is!!!

Still seeking more help!!

[riley6]

Some of it depends on how long the new foster parents have had the child. How old is the little girl? If she has been with the fp's for any length of time, six months/a year, wouldn't it be kinder to her to let her stay where she's settled instead of having her uprooted again? In some states fp's have first rights to a child if they've been their provider for 6-12 months. If you're cooperative with the fp's, perhaps they'd give you visitation so you could continue to have visits with her and see her grow up.

[SHERRILBM3]

To riley6,

Thanks for the advice, she is 5 almost 6 and she has been in this foster home for around 9 months. I am torn, yes it might be better to leave her there. My biggest concern is I don't know if she is happy there, and the couple are in their sixities. We have an issue with grandma wanting to adopt and she is a single person in her sixities, who has raised one of my sister's kids allready. Is is right for me to want to step in so she doesn't raise another kid, alone? I know that family usually takes priority. The caseworker said she would prefer to place this child back with us as she has many concerns with grandma raising her. Thanks for the advice, every bit I get helps me alot!!

Thank you

sherrilbm3