[BlueMommy]

Hi,

I need some help!!!

We are considering a match with our agency, awaiting medicals etc, but in every way it seems to line up with what we are looking for. The bmom is wanting semi open and so are we, but it seems we would like to speak to each other via phone. We live in GA and she is in FLA, so I am not sure we will meet before the hospital.

I know I will be very nervous and afraid I will say the wrong thing and she will change her mind.

Anyway, my question is what will that first conversation be like? What should I expect? What questions are appropriate? Also once we have this first conversation how often should we speak after that? She is due in Oct.

Since we will only be semi open, I do not want to be overly friendly to the point it seems fake or insincere.

I know I have to be myself, but "myself" does not typically speak to someone who is gracious enough to consider giving me her child.

I need some advice from you very helpful and loving souls.

Thank you very much!!!

Robyn

[tobeafamily]

My best advice is to indeed be yourselves and to not focus on issues related to the baby, but rather ask about herself, her interests, favorite music, movies, etc. Get to know her, and allow her to see how you are as people. She's going to be as nervous or more nervous than you are.

Be prepared to introduce yourselves - Hi I'm __ and my husband is __. We're so glad you wanted to speak with us. We're really nervous! We just got back from the Home Depot - we love to work on the house, and I love planting flowers the best...etc.

HTH

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[Support2Adopt]

Just be yourself.
You can ask her if she has any questions about you and your family.
Show a real interest in her, not just the baby.
As far as how often to speak after the initial call, ask her what she would be comfortable with.
JJ

[Dublin]

I would just be yourselves. Ask her how she is feeling, if she has had any problems, etc...

By the way... You only live a state away, and she is not due until October... I would sugest trying to make a point of going to visit her.