[Kassidysmomma]

Hello all again. I don't know if anyone remembers me, but here's the deal. It's a long heartbreaking story so if anyone is sensitive, u might want to stop reading. My fiance and I met through his cousin (my best friend so I thought, I will call her Beth*) She is a very nice person, but very childish and unreliable. I will always love her so I am not being mean, just honest. We all lived together along with her daughter, Kassidy until just recently. Before Beth* had Kassidy, she asked me if I would adopt her. I told her no only because I truly felt she didn't mean it and would change her mind. She moved out within a week. She lived at a women's shelter (I kept begging her to come back if only for the baby's sake) until Kass was 2 1/2 months old. Finally she came back. Within a few weeks, Beth* was saying how she wanted us to adopt Kass again. We thought she was just joking or whatever because I took care of Kassidy 95% of the time. Finally she sat me down and told me that she really did mean it and that she didn't want to be a mother, she resented it when she had to get up and feed Kass, or when she had to take care of her. We told her that we would adopt her. We started the process of finding an attorney. From that moment on, Beth* said that we were Kassidys' parents and we should be called such. Everyone called me Mom and my fiance Dad -- including and especially Beth*. Even on Mother's day, my mom asked Beth* if she wanted to be recognized as Mother and she said no very calmly that I was Kass's mother and always would be. Well that didn't last long. She wasn't going to tell her mother (who had only seen the baby 3 times since birth and lives only a mile away) that we were adopting her, but I told her that I thought that was wrong and she should tell her. So she told her. Her mom went ballistic. I guess her mom told her that after we adopted Kass that we would throw Beth* out of our lives -- which couldn't be further from the truth. Well she played on Beth*'s insecurities and she left. We have since found out that her and the baby are living in a halfway house. We are devastated. I can barely do anything, I cry all the time. Everything reminds me of her. So what I am looking for now is do we have any legal recourse against her? She is not a fit mother, she already lost custody of her first child because of abuse/neglect. But we are afraid to call DCFS because what if she loses her to a worse place and we can't save Kassidy? Our attorney is on vacation til next week and it is driving us crazy. If it helps, she (her idea) signed a piece of paper with witnesses and notarized stating her intention for us to adopt her. Please if anyone can help us we would so appreciate it. We just miss and love our little girl so much!!!

P.S. Sorry about the long story, just thought maybe some history might help anyone to make a more educated decision. Also sorry about the scatterbrained, I am just too stressed out to think straight. Thank you in advance anyone who can help.

[mj77]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. If you feel that Kass' life or health is threatended then I would call social services. Remember they will proabably place the baby in a foster home until they find a suitable or relative placement. Legally, I couldn't tell you what you could do. Unfortunately, I know there have been no papers signed giving you any type of guardianship. Hopefully Beth will come to her sences and do what it right for the baby. Hang in there and keep us posted.

Melissa

[maryjanek]

How awful! Do you think it could help to approach Beth's mother? You were the one who urged Beth to tell her about the adoption, because you wanted her to do the right thing. If you think she might care at all about Kassidy's welfare it might be worth trying to talk to her. Despite her previous actions, she might come through if her grandchild's well being depended on it. It may be worth a try at least.

If a turnaround by Beth's mom isn't possible, I would try my best to get through to Beth. She doesn't want to parent, but it seems she does want her child to have a good home. And so do you.

I sincerely hope things work out for you.

[SISNLAW]

well i am sorry about what happened to u but just like the lawyers told me when i tried to take my step son away from his mother and father the child is not a piece of property and the document u have is not legally binding even though it has been notorized the child is a human being and social services will take the child and place it with u if u request it and prove the mother unfit then u may be able to adopt trust me i have all ready been through it but u cant be upsetting the child u have to be calm around her at alltimes