[sugarbabysmommy]

I know variations of this question have been asked, but I wanted to ask it again and hope no one will mind. At what point has everyone started their child's story? With the birthfamily, to meeting and matching, to birth, ending with going home -or- with the phone call to go to the hospital ending with going home -or- ???

I have been telling my child various versions (my little one's still preverbal so I have time to get this right) and haven't come up with something that feels right.

My main prupose for brining it up again was a comment made on a similar thread about the center of the story not being the adoptive parents, but that it should be the child. I'd very much like to make my little the center of the story and when the story starts seems to make a difference. A little background, we have a very open adoption that began in a longer than average match.

[Linny]

Well.......before I finished your post, I initially thought, "How could you tell the story of someone's adoption, w/ focusing on the parents?'.....but I understand what you mean---I think?
Because you had a longer than average time with the birthmother; and because you have a very open arrangement.......I'd simply start talking about the birthparents and what happened that you 'came along to match with her'. Yes, it's too early for the details now....but I'm a firm believer in talking about adoption as an everyday thing. By doing this, it becomes something 'natural and comfortable'.
Every single person I have read about, or have seen interviewed, that felt 'empty and/or less than', due to their adoption.....came from a home where adoption was not talked about openly or 'normally'. The child was either not told they were adopted'....or 'treated as second best because we really wanted a bio child'.

Just keep talking

Sincerely,

Linny

[riley6]

I started our adoption story the same way I told my bio kids about "their" stories. "I prayed for a VERY LONG time for a little child just like you...."

When someone asked my son how he was adopted, he told them that his mom prayed for a long long time for him to come to her and then God said YES.

[kforkids]

Riley!
What a great response! How wonderful! Thanks for sharing it!

[jewelewis]

I have a friend whos son is adopted. We were talking about this very same thing. She called her son over to me and said to him "tell Julie about your adoption and how you came to me." In the cutest 4 year old voice you have ever heard he said,"my mom prayed and prayed for me and God sent her to me." I thought it was cute because he got the sent me to her mixed up with the sent her to me. I figure when the time comes thats how her story will begin. I prayed and prayed for you and God sent you to me through an angel named "D" (birthmom). She also told him that some babies are born in mommies bellies and other babies are born in their mommies hearts.

Julie

[Maki]

Hi,
We brought our son home when he was five days old. He turned two in March and he loves books. I decided to make a book about him and how he became a part of our family. The title of the book is "A story about Sammy." The story starts before he was born. It tells about my husband & I and what we liked to do. (the book is done scrapbook style so there are pictures and the words are simple.) The story goes on to tell about how we wanted children, & how sad we were when no baby came after years of waiting...then we became happy when we decided to adopt, etc. It goes on to tell about the big call & all the exciting stuff that happened. I just loved working on the book and Samuel loves the fact that there is a story just about him. Although he is too young to understand what adoption means, at least he'll recognize the word. I think this will open up an avenue for him to ask questions in the future. Good luck!

[sugarbabysmommy]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful replies. I'm still trying to find the right balance and hope by the time my little one can ask questions that I'll have come to a final version. I am definitely considering making it into a storybook. So many adoption stories seemed geared toward international, not local. Thanks again...