[tbmichals]

I think I have managed to stress my husband out totally! We have just started the adoption process, and have been buying baby items once a week. Well, we got a pack n play, high chair, etc. Thursday I went to Pottery Barn Kids and fell in love with the Happy Daisy collection. I have been looking at baby bedding for months and couldn't make up my mind (or the ones I liked from Posh Tots cost to much). I ended up buying all of the bedding, curtains, rug and curtain rods. Not exactly cheap, which is what freaked him out. Am I the only one to buy this much when I don't even know when I will be getting a baby. This stuff is all for a girl, which is what I want. I have put on all of my paperwork that I would be open to either a boy or girl. I believe that God already has the perfect baby picked out for everyone and I have been praying for a girl for as long as I can remember. I think I may be losing my mind!

[amom4life]

Hi,
No we did not buy that much stuff for a child we didn't have yet and personally I wouldn't. All we bought was what we would need as we didn't know how soon we'd be matched it could have taken awhile or happen real fast.

We bought a crib, dresser, bedding, car seat, some onsies, bottles, diapers, and a few pieces of gender nutural clothing. I also decorated the nursery in a gender nutural theme with colors of the same so it would work for any child we were matched with.

I would just advise you to keep all of your reciepts and tags since you're buying so much girl stuff, but are open to either sex. And be sure to check out each stores return policy and time limits or you may end up stuck with a bunch of stuff you can't use if you do get a boy. You may even want to consider taking back some of the things now since you don't know how long of a wait you're in for.

I know my dh would have flipped too if I had bought a bunch of stuff for a specific sex considering we were open to either too and especially when we were just beginning the process.

Our son will be 4 months today and we just got him a high chair last week. We didn't go crazy buying him clothes until a few nights before he was to be released from NICU and we could finally bring him home.

I know too well the temptation and passion to collect baby things, but the adoption process is stressful enough and there are so many twists and turns, and unknowns. So maybe you could lighten up on the spending and give your dh a little peace of mind.
Judy

[cathy102]

I bought alot of stuff also before we even had a match!!! But I bought things that would either go for a boy or girl.. I really wanted a girl but I knew the wait would of taken longer... My husband didn't care what I bought but if it's driving your hubby crazy, back off for awhile.. Adoption is stressful enough, you don't need your household being stressed out because you are having so much fun in buying all girl things...

I wish you luck!!!

Cathy

[mlbsands]

It is perfectly FINE to do what youa re doing if it makes you happy.. pregnant ladies get to do this I see no reason you shouldn't.. espeically since eventually you will get a baby..

Originallyt I did not feel that way, but then after talkignw ith my mom and some others I realized how good it was for me to feel like a normal women and dream of a baby.. I just don't have a 9 mos time frame like most.. )

I did however buy gender neutral stuff.. but if you have your heart set on girl stuff, just be prepared if you have a boy to take some of it back or use girl stuff on a boy... )

the point is. you have a right to be happy and plan and don't let anyone tell you otherwise..

Good Luck and have fun

[mj77]

I can understand your husband being a bit upset. I echo the other posters regarding the gender specific things. It is one thing to prepare and be excited but goodness gracious, you decided you are getting a girl when you said you were open to either sex!

Melissa

[mellosS]

My husband and I knew from day one that we would need to adopt to start a family. I started out small and then found myself in your same situation. I collected for about four years and we were never lucky enough to be matched. After this period of collecting I decided to give away a lot of what we had. Needless to say I gave away the last of the nursery stuff and not a month later we found out we had 5 months to prepare for our new baby. I know that in all the days I shopped for a baby we may or may not get everything I bought made me feel some sort of comfort with our situation. Yes, my husband thought it was a bit odd but if it is bringing you comfort or allowing you a kind of peace then I think you are sane and trying to meet your own needs by doing what feels right.

[joynxs1]

lol i'm a birthmother and i picked great parents for my baby. the ultra sounds said i was having a girl which i told my attorney. I had a gut feeling all alone it was a boy Well guess I should have said something 'cause it was a boy.hee hee

ps it didnt matter to them!

[megsmom]

I did this same thing, I had a closet full of clothes, a room decorated with all girl bedding etc. just TONS of stuff and it was all for a GIRL! I was praying for a girl, and we had 1 failed adoption that was going to be a boy I wasn't sure how he would look in all my girl clothes LOL! But God answered my prayers for a little girl.
So sounds like the rest of us do/did the same thing-have fun!
Shannon
mommy 2 princess megan
praying for blessing #2

[tobeafamily]

I don't think you've lost your mind. I do think you should go get a copy of the Baby Bargains book babybargainsbook.com. It's a very helpful resource for figuring out what you really do and don't need.

We found all of their recommendations to be right on-target. It's truly amazing how much stuff out there isn't really needed at all.

One final thought - we come to accept adoption at different times and in different ways. If DH is having a hard time with what you're doing, spend some quiet time exploring this with him. It may be about the money, it may be about something else and the buying of things is just hitting that nerve.

IMHO

Regina

[tbmichals]

I think I need to clarify something. We had spent about $1700 that weekend on non baby stuff so after we bought the baby bedding he said no more spending for a little while. He is fine with buying baby stuff, as most of the things I buy can be boy or girl, the only thing that is definite girl is the bedding. Buying things makes me happy even if it just a pacifier. It makes me feel like we will eventually get a baby. I am trying to buy things that I will need when the time comes so I won't have to go on a major shopping spree then. The only reason I bought a high chair was b/c it matched my house decor and the play yard/bassinet. The reason I bought the bedding was b/c I have been looking at bedding for months and months and finally found something that I liked and it didn't cost $800 for a quilt, bumper and bed skirt. Usually if I wait to get something they discontinue ahead and bought it. I kept the receipts and figure if I get a boy I will sell it on ebay.

[katieb31323]

I think you definately need to go with your gut. For our first 2 adoptions I didn't by much of anything for all kinds of reasons, and you can definately get everything you really need in less then 24 hours (done that twice now). We are waiting again and this time I am preparing a nursery (gender neutral that I can boy or girl up when the time comes) I am more emotionally prepared to handle it I think if we have to wait awhile and so having the "stuff" around doesn't bother me. Its really about what you can handle. The problem I have been kind of bummed about is you really can't even buy gender neutral stuff as I have no idea on the season! I live in MN and temps swing -20 to 110 so I have been buying new crib sheets and think I will take a tip from Judy and by diapers. I don't think you can have to many and it will be a slower introduction to the budget!
Have fun and happy waiting!

Katie

[yanknrebel]

We were going to adopt a baby (private) , but through instinct, we waited, fearing the ** would change her mind. She did. We then got into foster care and my sister sent me all of her babythings from her two sons. We then got a baby girl from foster care. I went crazy. We jokingly said I was only working to buy baby clothes. I had to have everything new. I refused to buy yardsale items for this beautiful baby girl. After I quit work (after my 12 weeks of FMLA and then an additional 6 weeks of short term disability after having my 2nd ectopic pregnancy) I started buying name brand baby clothes on ebay. Got some really good deals. Now after being off work for two 1/2 years, I now buy from Walmart and yard sales (for playclothes). If we ever get anymore babies placed with us for adoption (or fostering) I will try my best to buy them all new things. If hubby willing. LOL