[GE_Glows]

Hmmm - I wonder if Barbara Walter's daughter REALLY feels that way about searching for her bmom - OR if being from the "dark days" just doesn't want to "hurt Ms. Walters by being honest about her own curiosity. Many of us are loath to hurt our aparents, there are NUMEROUS posts on this forum from adoptees saying just that. And now, having had her mother say that on National television, she may feel even MORE intimidated about searching. I mean really - how would that "look" to Ms. Walter's "adoring" public if her daughter went and looked for her bparents now?! I always liked Barbara Walters, but this has really changed my opinion of the woman...

Toby <--- disillusioned

[jewelewis]

I am going to be watching it. I cant wait to see what everyone has to say about it. I feel that I cant educate people on the truth if I dont watch it.
Julie

[Adopting_in_TX]

I am as disgusted as all of you, but you know the sad reality?

Even though we are outraged we will watch the program. We will make ratings soar for this sad, sad story. That is the downside.

I read the synopsis of the ABC website. It turned my stomach.

BW Adoption Special

The wording they use....."Jessica and her mother select five families to interview and they become the judge and jury in an extraordinary competition. "You don't want to goof anything like this up — it's too important. It involves a baby's life," says Beth Anne, Jessica's mom."

Judge & Jury.....Competition.....its boggles the mind.

I can not express how outraged I am.

Alison

[jenkas1]

Alison,

Everyone makes a choice. No one HAS to watch the show - I for one won't be. I don't feel I need to watch it in order to know what to reply when others are talking about it. I feel I heard enough from the promo's to know that it is not quality television and has not been handled appropriately and sensitively. The SAD TRUTH is that often times "controversial" topics are what draws people to watch - are we so gullible? I've already written to 20/20 to express my views. By not watching, I'm taking a stand, not that 20/20 will care, but if enough of us didn't watch believe me they would. I'm stubborn I guess!!!
Jen

[dl]

I've posted my disgust on one of the threads regarding the way this show is being promoted. I'm in advertising sales and understand the concept of "selling the sizzle" but the promotions have been disgusting. I will watch the show as I hope (TRYING to give benefit of doubt ~ don't have much) that it will not be as tasteless as the promotions have been.

That being said, I wanted to respond to Toby30's post: "I wonder if Barbara Walter's daughter REALLY feels that way about searching for her bmom - OR if being from the "dark days" just doesn't want to "hurt Ms. Walters by being honest about her own curiosity.

What your suggesting could very well be the truth. But just to offer another perspective, I honestly never thought about searching for my bioParents at all. I didn't make a conscious decision NOT to search ~ I just never thought about it or had any desire to search. I found out by chance that I might be able to locate them and I did. Don't get me wrong ~ I have found learning the truth about my beginnings very interesting and I've been getting to know some very nice people. It's also given bioDad great peace of mind.

My point is, perhaps Barbara Walter's daughter honestly does not have any desire to search. It's not really that uncommon of an attitude, IMO.

[GE_Glows]

Hi DL

I agree with you, it's not that uncommon of an attitude. I have several friends who are adoptees, one started searching the day she turned 18, and one is approaching 40 and has no desire to know anything. That is their privilige, to search or not to search.

The only point I was trying to make is that it would be a shame for someone, in this case, Barbara Walters' daughter, to be intimidated or shamed (not a personal shame, but rather what would people think if she searched now that her mom has announced she doesn't want to, living in the spotlight of America) into not searching if they so choose.

Just as I feel it is my friends' right and privilege to search or not as they feel fit, I feel all adoptees have that same privilege. No one should have the right to make that decision for them, or force them to make a decision they are not 100% comfortable with.

Just my opinion

Toby

[dl]

Just as I feel it is my friends' right and privilege to search or not as they feel fit, I feel all adoptees have that same privilege. No one should have the right to make that decision for them, or force them to make a decision they are not 100% comfortable with.

I completely agree with you. The only point I was trying to make is that perhaps this is Barbara's daughter's decision. I saw the show where the daughter was interviewed and she seemed like a very strong woman. Seeing the interaction between the daughter and Barbara, I doubt Barbara would have made the comments she did without her daughter's permission. JMO!

[GE_Glows]

You may well be right DL!

I just saw a spot on Inside Edition talking about how viewers have been "OUTRAGED" with the advertisements for the 20/20 special, and they showed Barbara Walters "explaining" their errors on the View and on Good Morning America. She said they should never have used the word compeate and it was a not a reality show, and it wasn't a game show either.

While it's great to know that our collective outrage sparked a response from ABC, let's hope the show turns out to be a better representation of adoption than we have all been led to believe at this point.

One can dream anyway...

Toby

[dl]

Thanks ~ You're obviously a couple hours ahead of me. I'll be sure to watch Inside Edition tonight. That's probably the interview that Shirleyville posted about!

[HeavensGifts]

I agree with you all the promo's for this show and the way it reads on the 20\20 site are horrible and very distastful. Just like Dr. Phil's outlandish statements about adoption many times.

I would like to let you know I phoned the agency that worked with the birthmother and they also felt the promo's where worded badly HOWEVER they shared with me the story and how the show actually is and that it does not protray adoptive parents badly - in fact the person I spoke with said the worst comment was actually made by an adoptive father to be that was interviewed by the mother. The agency said the mother of the child actually did a wonderful job of being sure about the families she interviewed and it is very stressed that she is making a life choice and that the "compitition" thing was only the doings of the promo department.

From what I heard for the agency Barbara even talked about this on her other show (The View) and critisized the promo's also.

I personally will watch and base my opinion on the show itself and not on a promo and would hope you all would do the same. I trust this agency and that their ethics are in the right place after speaking with them. They feel every expectant parent making an adoption plan for their child should (and will through them) always have the right to view as many profiles of families and interview as many as she feels she needs to.

Heavens Gifts

[St.Ives]

In regards to my previous post, I stated (in my haste), "Exploitation is right" I hope everyone understands I was agreeing with the person who described the program as exploitive, not that I was condoning exploitation.

LOLOL!! sorry i just had to respond to this. this is very funny.

i mean this statment is funny, not that exploitation is funny.

[dl]

I got to thinking about the Barbara Walter's interview and the controversy that has been stirred up and I wonder if it was all part of the marketing plan.

They do blatantly offensive promotional pieces which stirs everyone up. Thus they get second hand publicity as the promotional pieces ~ and thus the show ~ is discussed and talked about ~ even on talk radio shows. Free radio advertising. Next is apologetic interviews that are being shown, not only on ABC, but other stations as well. The apology is given and the show is talked about ~ free TV advertising. Protests are planned on both the East and West Coast. More news coverage. This all adds up to more people watching the show than would have without the controversy. They want to see what all the fuss is about.

IF this was the overall marketing plan, it sure seems to have worked.

[AMom2Two]

you wrote..."This all adds up to more people watching the show than would have without the controversy. They want to see what all the fuss is about.

IF this was the overall marketing plan, it sure seems to have worked"

Brilliant Plan right!!!! Grrrrrrr......You hit the hammer on the head. As I said earlier by husband works for a TV station, CBS. This is the type of thing he does all day. Working on promo's and advertising and then helping the producers design the spots which we see on the air. Shock Value as the industry calls it means $$$$$$$$$ Also as someone else pointed out, this show is held during a "rating's month" What that means is that once a quarter the media stations are judged by their view turnout. ABC has the corner of the market in our area. CBS is number 2 and NBC is 3. It has nothing to do about material and all to do about viewer turnout and $$$$$$ ABC wants to stay number 1. What better way to up this turnout then to push people's buttons, get a swarm of attention to it, as this has.

Unfortunately TV doesn't care about sensitivity. They don't care about the poor baby (the object as they are making this appear) who will one day see his mother give him away on national TV and his parents competing for the job, as if he is a prize to be won! I'm so disgusted with it all!!!

Unfortunately with all the buzz and a subject close to my heart, open adoptions, I can in no way, miss viewing this show so my TV will be turned on and ABC will get what they want, great viewer turnout! I'm still hoping the promo's really don't show the real truth. This happens alot too. Urgggghhh

[HopefulAdopt]

Yes, it is all about the ratings and they could care less for the the feelings and lives of all involved. It's TV, they love all of us being outraged because we WILL WATCH and in a few days it will all be over but they will get the grade. However, I want to make a point here- Don't think for a minute that anyone of them was forced to be on that show. I'm sure that in the end it will bring so much publicity to each and everyone of them. Their lives will never be the same again. The young birthmom, her parents and the 5 couples as well as the agency involved. Think about it! They will be seen and heard all over the world. Don't you think that is what they want? Maybe yes maybe no but you can't lead me to believe that they weren't coached and encouraged and probably paid very well. Disturbing...YES, and that is the way I feel about these people on all of the REALITY shows. They have underlying motives and don't think they don't!

And yes, I'm going to watch the show because I can't answer questions about it if I don't. My parents, siblings and friends will watch most likely and they will have lots of questions for us. They will be the ones coming away from it believing that adoption is such a risk...etc. etc. I need to be ready for it. My prayer is that it will be a teaching tool. And as far as Barbara...I can take her or leave her. Why do you think she is where she is...she gets the ratings! Adoptive mother or not...she is happy with this regardless of what others think!

Anyhow...lets all bring down our blood pressure and watch it and then we can judge for ourselves. Only God knows what each one of us goes through...we need to continue to encourage one another through our journeys.

God Bless,

[Sidswife]

My husband and I adopted our son through "A Child's Waiting", the agencyy used in the 20/20 special. I believe that they were misled by the producers at ABC on what kind of program that this would be.
If you visit their website, they have posted a response to all of the controversy surrounding this show.
Furthermore, as a rebutal to a post in this thread, their fees are not outrageous. We were very satisfied with the fees that we paid to them... less than $8,000. That is more than reasonable in this day of a $30, 000 adoption being normal!
Please do not judge them without knowing the complete story.