[bromanchik]

I am creeped out by the whole concept of taking a vulnerable minor, in crisis and taking one of the most personal moments of her and her child's life and putting it on national television. (Especially since her first choice is to parent, an option her parents refuse to support) Not to mention taking vulnerable prospective adoptive parents and making it a public competition. Forget the reality show aspect. This is never a time for television cameras. No matter the educational benefits.

[3girls1boy]

I actually saw a documentary -at least 10 years ago- on open adoption that filmed an expectant mom going through the process of going through letters and visiting a couple of families and ultimately deciding a family to place with- then it showed them 2 years later and how open adoption had worked. It was wonderful. It was a small film done obviously by caring film makers. It showed the insecurities and fears on all sides and how they worked to resolve them. It also showed the joy this child brought to all three parents. This is when open adoption was still so new to the general public- I think it was an agency in Vermont- something about open doors I think. It still should be required viewing for all prospective aparents. I wish I could remember the name of it.
Lisa

[MyGrlnme]

Lisa- I saw the same documentary.... I believe it was on the lifetime channel... It was excellent- even tho it dated back about 10 years ago. It showed all sides, viewed all feelings, showed the benefits of an open adoption and was an overall excellent documentary for all people involved.. I can't remember the name of it either... but I will try and research it to find out.. This is something every paparent, pbmother, pbfather and adoptee should see ! It is a 5 star in my book !

As far at the 20/20 show, I agree with Brenda. This is not a time for TV cameras. It is one of the most personal times in a persons life. (Thank god 20/20 decided not to do the show on Fast Track Adoption and the Burn's)

[3girls1boy]

mickey-
someone on another thread said 20/20 was now looking for bparents whose open adoption had been closed, so maybe they are still going to do fasttrack, or maybe this was just internet gossip.

You are right, it was on lifetime. I made a tape and gave it to my social worker then, I wonder if she still has it.
Lisa

[LifeMom]

I posted to the ABC board to encourage people to contact the agency. Personally I am not as disgusted with 20/20 as I am with the adoption agency. They ought to know better than to exploit a birth mother and child in this fashion.

http://boards.abcnews.go.com/cgi/abc..._2020&id=38151

[3girls1boy]

Lifemom-
I contacted the agency directly and sent them this email.

Dear..
I have no idea how this show will actually look; I certainly hope it’s handled more sensitively than the promotions. As an adoption agency how can you actually let a baby be depicted as a prize won in a contest rather than a person? I believe everything about this portrays adoption in a negative light and belittles every member of the adoption triad. I have two children adopted in open adoptions. I continually have to educate people and try to explain the misconceptions about it from the media. I think the trivialization of the most important choice a birthmom makes is going to do far more harm than good.
I am disappointed that an opportunity to do good for adoption has been wasted.
Thank you
.....

PM if you want their email, or you can get it on the website that icunurse posted.
Lisa

[3girls1boy]

In the interest of fairness- here is the response I got from the agency-

Hello Lisa,

I appreciate your letter. Our agency certainly does not want to portray
adoption of any kind in a negative light. Unfortunately, we did not have
control over how the show was edited. Jessica, the birthmother, wanted to
show other women like herself that there is an alternative to abortion. She
is a wonderful young woman who cares deeply for her son. We supported her
decision to do the show with ABC and are hopeful that someone like Barbara
Walters, an adoptive mother herself, will be sensitive to all parties
involved.

We hope that there will be a positive message for those in the general
population who are uneducated about the wonderful option of "openness". Our
agency has so many wonderful stories of successful open adoption in which
the person who benefits the most is the child.

I know ABC hopes to add entertainment value to attract viewers but, the
pro's outweigh the con's in that a large audience of people will now see
that this is a loving option for someone experiencing an unplanned
pregnancy.

Thanks again for your comments.

Take care!

Sincerely,
........

[dl]

As an adoptee, I find the way this show is being promoted very offensive. I hope the actual program is tastefully done. I understand the young woman's intentions and applaud her effort. The promotion sounds a little bit to much like "The Apprentice" to me.

[St.Ives]

goodness. i went to the 20-20 website and saw how the show was being premoted and i agree it is tacky.
i think everyone- the producers of the show, the adoptive parents and the birthmother- need to think about how the adoptee will feel 15 or 20 years from now when he watches this show and realize that he was the grand prize on a reality tv/ gameshow.
everyone particapating in this should be ashamed of themselfs. especialy barbra walters.

[AMom2Two]

Originally posted by bromanchik
I am creeped out by the whole concept of taking a vulnerable minor, in crisis and taking one of the most personal moments of her and her child's life and putting it on national television. (Especially since her first choice is to parent, an option her parents refuse to support) Not to mention taking vulnerable prospective adoptive parents and making it a public competition. Forget the reality show aspect. This is never a time for television cameras. No matter the educational benefits.

I have to agree with Brenda on this one, I too am very creeped out by it all. Taking a young girl, in crisis, putting her on TV, taking 5 aparents who are probably an emotional wreck, and having them interviewed on national TV sounds like it's all about publicity and ratings.

My husband works in the TV industry and one thing I have learned, the more attention the promo's get, weather negative or positive, the more people will watch. They actually are looking to stir up a hornest nest to up viewer turnout. TV stations DO aim for shock value to get more people to watch. The more upset people are about it, the more they talk, the greater the buz, the more people will tune into it. Sometimes the promo's are actually very misleading as to how the show will go. Let's hope this is the case for this story. I'll be glued to the TV set for sure.

[LifeMom]

Lisa,
You will be saddened to know that the response you received is a form letter! I received the same identical response as have others who wrote the agency. When I pointed out to Crissy the co-director, that I was disappointed that they would encourage 20/20 to put this story up she wrote a 2nd letter to me telling me that they were not promoting it. I pointed out that its on their web site so they ARE promoting it and benefiting from it financially, thus they are not doing this for altruistic reasons as they tried to indicate in their letters to any of us. They are doing this to bring attention to their agency. They charge some hefty fees!

Have you seen this?

[Edited To Remove the URL to an agency website.]

Quote from agency website regarding 20/20 airing:

A Child’s Waiting has no editorial control over the content of the piece being presented including print or commercials. We were there every second for all of the families and birth parents. We made sure that they were comfortable whenever the camera was on. Each individual retained the right to withdraw or not be filmed throughout the process. Everyone involved felt comfortable and agreed to be filmed and to have their segment aired.

This completely disgusts me! EVERYONE involved felt comfortable and agreed to be filmed???? I don't think the child agreed to be filmed! What is this child going to feel when he is old enough to see this exploitation fron National television?

Life Mom

Originally posted by 3girls1boy
Hello Lisa,

I appreciate your letter. Our agency certainly does not want to portray
adoption of any kind in a negative light. Unfortunately, we did not have
control over how the show was edited. Jessica, the birthmother, wanted to
show other women like herself that there is an alternative to abortion. She
is a wonderful young woman who cares deeply for her son. We supported her
decision to do the show with ABC and are hopeful that someone like Barbara
Walters, an adoptive mother herself, will be sensitive to all parties
involved.

We hope that there will be a positive message for those in the general
population who are uneducated about the wonderful option of "openness". Our
agency has so many wonderful stories of successful open adoption in which
the person who benefits the most is the child.

I know ABC hopes to add entertainment value to attract viewers but, the
pro's outweigh the con's in that a large audience of people will now see
that this is a loving option for someone experiencing an unplanned
pregnancy.

Thanks again for your comments.

Take care!

Sincerely,
........

[St.Ives]

Unfortunately, we did not have control over how the show was edited. Jessica, the birthmother, wanted to
show other women like herself that there is an alternative to abortion. She is a wonderful young woman who cares deeply for her son. We supported her decision to do the show with ABC ...

Oh i see it is all JESSICAS idea. no one else has any control, they can not stop her. JESSICA is to blame, she has all the power, and she organized this 20/20 episode as a platform for her pro-life beleifs. that makes perfct sense.
NOT!

the fact is that jessica is not a 'young woman' she is a vulnerable teenager. a minor. this is b.s. and they should be ashamed of themself.

[DebCsMom]

I was appalled tonight after watching TV & saw previews to this special!! All I could think was, "You have got to be Kidding!" They are promoting this like a game show with the baby being the grand prize! "Which of these couples will get THIS baby?" What the he** is that!!!!? I can not believe this. That poor Birth Mom & that poor child. It's a CHILD not a prize to be fought for or competed for, as they make it sound!!!

SOOO sad how the Media always does this to adoption.

Deb

[Shoshana]

has anyone used the word EXPLOITATION yet?

i think their marketing of this show is a mockery. the fact that they're making it sound like reality TV is even more disgusting.

[3girls1boy]

now on the a child is waiting website there is a message from the agency saying the same thing they did in the email to me- that their intentions were good- but that the producers messed it up. They are obviously getting a huge amount of publicity for this. I still question their intentions. No matter how good the intentions were, didn't any of the adluts involved in this see the potential for abuse here?

I am emailing Barbara Walters and asking how she thinks her daughter would feel to have been refered to as this baby is in these promos.
Lisa