[kburch]

O.K. A little background first... My husband and I have recently decided that we want to adopt an older child from foster care, somewhere in the 6-12 y.o. range. Now, as we've started telling family and friends about our decision, we've gotten some positive reactions and some negative ones, which I can understand. But some have been just plain weird .

For example, my cousin is a sweetheart, and she is also pregnant. She has also, for the past several months, been hinting at the fact that I should get pregnant soon, too. Well, it started as hinting, anyway. She's even gone as far as telling me that she's been boxing up some of the girl stuff she has (her next baby is a boy), so I can have it as soon as I need it... Anyway, no pressure, right? I mean, she's planning to give it to me in a year?!? I guess I have 2 or 3 months to get busy... Just kidding!

So, we told them about our plans on Saturday, and her first reaction was, "But you realize it's a big responsibility, right? I mean, if they're sick, they may keep you up all night for days. And you have to worry about whether or not to take them to the emergency room or urgent care. And ..." 'Cuz a baby's not going to have any of those problems?!?!?

Anyway, she had other questions/issues, too, that we talked more about, but I was definitely caught off guard by the beginning of that conversation...

So, what have your weirdest reactions been??

[HappyMomAnna]

Choosing to adopt the way that you and I have does bring up some odd and strange feelings in other people. There is sometimes this idea that we are less a parent--and the child is less a part of us with our friends and families....some of which will never get it.

My own mother has made remarks that I might 'expect' less or 'feel less shame of failure' in the adopted children then I do with my bios?????

A neighbor--who adopted two newborns and raised them--asked us NOT to consider any children who were possibly exposed to drugs because 'They all Go crazy as Teens' and she doesn't want to have to lock her doors at night? HUH?

~~~~by the way I told the neighbor not to worry because now that the house is paid off by the time the kids are teens we won't be her neighbor anymore!~~~~~~~~

And there are a few family members who were a bit upset whit the 'displacement' of the cousine birthorder line up!

Have fun--you will hear a whole lot more!

[PinkRibbon]

One of my relatives, upon me telling her I was adopting an older daughter 6-14 said, "What color?" I told her, "Pink or purple." haha

[Xanny]

My mother called me the day after we told my parents we were adopting and said, "Your father was up all night. You have to tell him you don't have uterine cancer." I thought that was an interesting one.

I also liked my mother's initial reaction, "You should have a biological child. It's cheaper." (Can't argue with that one.)

I can relate to the cousin birthorder problem. I would have been PISSED as a kid if some kid swooped in and messed up our birth order. We all knew who went where and who was closest to whom and we had lots of games that we always played the same way. If you are close with your siblings and see their kids all the time, then changing the cousin birth order could be almost as disorienting for them as changing the birth order within a nuclear family can be. Not that it's a reason not to adopt waiting children, but I don't think it's that strange as a concern.

--Xanny

[mckenna]

this was more of a fostering reaction than an adoption reaction, but it always struck me as odd, it still does 3 years later. my cousin who was a senior in highschool was going to spend the night with me on thanksgiving cuz i had to work the next day and daycare was closed, so she was going to babysit my foster daughter. i left my grandmas to go pick her up at her aunts and stayed around for awhile and when we were getting ready to leave her aunt said, "so you are going to play house too?" i just ignored her comment, but what i should have said was i am 26 years old, and beleive me getting up with a baby everynight and having to go to work the next day is not playing. what did she think fostering was, a walk in the park?

[HappyMomAnna]

Originally Posted by Xanny I also liked my mother's initial reaction, "You should have a biological child. It's cheaper." (Can't argue with that one.)

.........Actually Xanny--I can aruge with this one! After insurance the bio son cost us over $2500.00 to be born not counting the co-pays for doctor visists....and the bio daughter ended up being unisured due to pre-exsisting c-section and she cost over $9,000.00!!!!

'M' and 'J' cost $117.00 for the more fancy hotel we stayed in during transistion and $6.00 for the second copy of the adopton decree!

[Xanny]

Well, okay. You got me. However, since my mother was talking about our plan specifically (infant adoption from Russia) I couldn't argue with her.

Anyway, I'm just happy that aside from worrying about my finances and my uterus, my parents have been really supportive!



Xanny