[heikkila]

Babies "R" Blessings put a post on Adoptions Hotline today. The situation was asking that the adoptive parents pay $1,500 + $200/month that the birthmom owes as restitution for a criminal conviction. (So about $2500)

This seems extremely unethical to me. First, this is not an expense related to the pregnancy or adotpion. What court is going to approve that? Second, criminal restitution is for the criminal to pay to help make the situation right for criminal damage done. Why on earth would they be asking an adoptive family to cover that?

I did write an e-mail to this facilitator expressing my concerns, but I want to know how other people feel about this. Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?

Rebecca

[lisa in venice]

That sounds pretty dicey to me. I guess you could say that those were "birthparent" expenses but I sure would not want to get caught. I would think it could seriously endanger your adoption.

lisa

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Sure that is weird! In AZ there is a $2000 cap on aid to the birthmom... I would think that if the restitution is the issue they would put it toward rent/utilities to free up the birthmom to pay the restitution... Although it sounds crazy to post it that way.... the money ultimately is going to make it so that the birthmom can pay that restitution bill... Maybe they were just seeing if anyone would help her out knowing the truth instead of trying to twist it...

I guess it sounds crazy at first but on the other hand....at least she is being honest...right?

[seeking2adopt]

I read that post as well and thought it odd . . . so you are not the only one!

[Linny]

Yeah, I think it's REAL strange....and unethical. I think IL has a cap on expenses; but I also think it's sad that adoptive parents have to pay any 'other' expenses....other than those directly related to the birth and adoption of the baby.....

Just my two-cents....

Linny

PS......BTW.....'seeking to adopt'......I simply LOVE your little quote! It's wonderful!

[ucme4dk]

I have read B'r' Blessings post as well. I guarantee the reason that birthmom is coming from Georgia to Ca., is so that she can have maximum expenses paid. We did adopt our last baby using a Ca facilitator(not BRB) and we did not have to pay that much birthmom expenses, BUT I have seen **NUMEROUS** times facilitators trying to get away with justifying tremendous biomom expenses. In Calif. in particular there is a fine line that I feel is quite often crossed where it *almost* feels like baby selling. I have heard of Biomoms there being matched with a family, then all of a sudden demanding more money and if the family does not immediately oblidge then she will move on to the next family willing to pay. It is almost a game of who is on first when the baby is born. It is *very* sad and to me disturbing that our country is doing backflips to try to regulate baby trafficking for international adoptions but in the US there are definatly questionable things going on as well all the time. Just my .02 cents
Sara

[sostinkinhappy]

Yes, it is wrong! I am a birthmother myself and there is no way that I would have expected any adoptive parents to pay restitutions or fines that I had incurred (if I had). To me, there is something that smacks of babyselling or at least bargaining to me. Those fines and restitutions are the bmother's responsibility, period. She incurred them, the aparents didn't.

[Kellster]

This may be cynical of me, but it makes me wonder if she got pg just to "sell" the baby to pay off her debts. Just gives the wrong idea, IMHO. I would not have a good feeling about this situation.

Kelly

[JoanneFromNYC]

Add me to the group....I also think it's wrong.

[MyGrlnme]

You can add me also to the I think its wrong group. If I am not mistaken, restitution for criminal charges must be paid by the person who commited the crime? isn't that ordered by a judge? so I think that would be breaking the law... and how much sense does that make to have someone else pay ?? I don't consider paying off criminal restitution a bmom expense!