[heikkila]

What can you do if you've had a genuinely horrible experience with an adoption facilitation service that ended in a failed adoption and a huge amount of money lost?

Realistically, I probably can't do anything for myself, but I would like to see that no one else goes through the same thing.

Rebecca

[ccwasson]

I know just where you are comming from. Our SW failed to get the bfathers rights signed because she did not know where he was. She said that it would not be a big deal. If she would have done a little research and had gotten off of her little blond butt, then we would have never had to go through our bad experience. Come to find out, the bfather was living in the same appartment complex as the bmother. The bmom did not want her to find him because she was embarrased that he was 30 years older than her and married with 5 other kids. We missed out on having a beautiful baby boy, not to mention about 2000.00 in legal fees. We felt that we had to stick with this agency because we already had about 4000.00 invested in adoption paperwork, fingerprinting and all of that stuff. We did get a beautiful baby girl through this agency, but it took insistance by the bmom for us to meet. I think that there is nothing that can be done. The only thing that I feel I can do is tell my story and give my opinions on this particular agency and SW. GOOD LUCK!!
cc

[Support2Adopt]

Rebecca,
Without naming the facilitator, would you be comfortable elaborating what happened to you?
JJ

[Happy2Bhere]

I also had a bad experience.
When we first started out on the adoption process, I did alot of research, and found a facilitator out of California that had great numbers, great amount of birthmoms, more so than adoptive parents. (That should have sent up the red flags) Turns out that they were not legit at all. In fact, they said alot of stuff like "Yeah, you have to give the birthmom your information, but then my wife hugs her goodbye, and I grab the paper back out of her bag. But, legally, yes, she will get the information from you" They also said only to give out cell numbers, then when you get the adoption finalized, get rid of the cell number.
Needless to say, we declined all matches for one reason or another. Their contract said full refund if no match in 2 years. We waited till our contract was up, they wouldn't return our calls or emails, then finally, they answered the phone one day, and said they didn't have the money, but would make payments. That was in June- haven't heard from them since. They also told us past stories where they conned birthmoms into signing, or twisted the law to get the adoptive parents what they wanted. It was really sad. :-(

[heikkila]

We were matched at the end of February 2003 with a birthmom due in July 2003 through an unlicensed facilitator. She promply took a $7000 fee from us, promising to stay with us and help us manage our case until the baby was born and placed. She arranged for lawyers (who of course get paied up front), and then never did another thing with our case. She didn't call us or or the birthmom for months. She had promised to help the birthmom get moved and use some of our fees to help pay for moving expenses, a car payment, and a phone. She did nothing that she promised for me or the birthmom.

It was a terribly rocky match - very stressful the whole time. The birthmom felt lied to (which she was), I felt scamed (which I was) and ended up losing the baby when the birthmom reclaimed him 3 days after he was born.

I called he after the whole things fell apart and she said that she would find us another match with low expenses and that we wouldn't have to pay he fees again. Well, since then she has only presented us with her hard-to-place cases or very high fee cases because she isn't getting any more money out of us and I suspect that she is just trying to buy time until our contract runs out.

So 1 lost baby, $20,000, and 1 year later, and I have decided it's time to move on. I wrote and aked for my money back. This facilitator did not did not respond to my first request, so I wrote another on stating that she make this right by returning our money, or I will file complaints (and I feel I have legitimate complaints!!!) with the Better Business Bureau, and the Attorney's General in her state and mine. I am also going to contact my attorney on Monday.

Thanks for listeneing. Anyone else have other suggestions?

Rebecca

[cathy102]

I am so sorry to hear about the failed matches or the money that you all have lost. Both of my adoptions went fine but I do have a freind that got lied to by a certain place and they won't give her money back. They think they haven't done anything wrong but I KNOW what they have done to my friend.. The money that she lost is alot of money to them.. I just don't think it's fair that places can do this to people.. I know this place does place alot of babies with couples, but what about the couples that are lied to?

Cathy

[cathy102]

Rebecca..I sent you a Private Message..

Cathy

[heikkila]

Well, I got a reply stating how hard this facilitator has tried to match us again. Like I said - only with hard-to-place cases or very expensive ones.

I will be working out a settlement or I will be very vocal in telling my story so this does not happen to anyone else.

I'll keep you posted.

Rebecca

[tobeafamily]

Rebecca,

You can post your experiences on the Adoption Guide website (just put the name in any search engine). One of the primary functions of this site is to be a repository for the 'good, bad and ugly' experiences with adoption professionals for others.

So sorry to hear of your bad experience. Best of luck in your searching. If you like, I'll be happy to share our search tips - things DH and I did that cost little to nothing and helped find our son! Just PM me.

Regina